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  1. #31
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    Default Do you always stand up for what you believe in?

    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    So what would the rift be? You can tell me to get stuffed and mind my own business but if you did it, if you deleted, what would the cost be?
    I guess it would be really awkward for my mum. Her brother is married to my aunt and my cousin who is involved is his daughter. It's really silly because they were the cousins I was closest to growing up. My aunt has had a lot going on lately and my cousin seems to think that because of that she should be left to post whatever she wants without being challenged and she's annoyed at me because I didn't leave her be and she thinks that is disrespectful. This happened about 2 months ago. My aunt posted this

    ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1449596858.618938.jpg

    Then after I responded, she private messaged me to tell me that she wouldn't share things with me in future and that she doesn't post things for debate. I told her I would stick up for what I believe in.

    Then after the towel head comment the other day, somebody who I don't know asked my sister if she condoned that comment. I had ignored everything up until then but I just replied to his comment that it was not worth it trying to change their minds, best to let them love their own lives full of hate and ignorance and to just move along. He said he disagreed and that on a public forum anybody who posts bigoted stuff should be called on it. I said I agreed with him but that I learnt my lesson and that i
    don't bother challenging anyone anymore. I said the best to do is ignore and unfollow, which is what I now do. Then my cousin came in telling me off and it has escalated pretty badly from there.

    ETA - I challenged my niece (sister who I mentioned daughter) as she posted this thing about Maryborough mayor telling school they couldn't ban pork from canteens.

    I said to her that a mayor would have no jurisdiction over school canteens and then posted this saying it was a hoax http://www.hoax-slayer.net/recycled-...uslim-demands/
    And she said yeh she didn't think that it happened but the article had some good points

    After this happened, I just decided to unfollow anyone who posted this stuff

    So if I do block all these people even though my sister, niece, brother and bil all live in Qld and I haven't seen them in years and my aunt and cousin live on other side of Sydney and I haven't seen them for years either. But it would probably cause a rift so I've just unfollowed for now.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 09-12-2015 at 04:05.

  2. #32
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    For FB things, no I don't go and battle for my beliefs. I just keep scrolling.
    I have similar family members to you I think OP, in their beliefs. But I don't believe there is any point in saying anything. Just keep scrolling; it's just words on a screen.

    IRL though, yes generally I do speak up. If it's family or someone close, I will still speak up but in a more gentle manner, and if it looks like the conversation is going downhill I will simply state that I don't want to talk about it anymore (for fear of upsetting people).

  3. #33
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    Yes and almost every day I have the same argument with my FIL who we live with. He is a racist, homophobic man who refers to females as pieces. A typical comment from him is that gay people should be shot. My father is gay. He knows that yet he still makes awful comments.

    I say something every single time he says something racist homophobic or against women. I will not tolerate his disgusting words.

    This is a man who in 9 years of us living here has never said thank you or please to me but has called me a piece to my face. I don't have be one bit of love for such a horrible uneducated man who thinks my own father should be shot

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    Yes and almost every day I have the same argument with my FIL who we live with. He is a racist, homophobic man who refers to females as pieces. A typical comment from him is that gay people should be shot. My father is gay. He knows that yet he still makes awful comments.

    I say something every single time he says something racist homophobic or against women. I will not tolerate his disgusting words.

    This is a man who in 9 years of us living here has never said thank you or please to me but has called me a piece to my face. I don't have be one bit of love for such a horrible uneducated man who thinks my own father should be shot
    I'm so sorry you are having to put up with that BS. What a horrible, horrible person your FIL is

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    I'm so sorry you are having to put up with that BS. What a horrible, horrible person your FIL is
    Thank you

  6. #36
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    Default Do you always stand up for what you believe in?

    99% of the time I do but that 1% of the time I don't is due to being sick of repeating myself, tired of people not making sense and not having the energy to fight with idiots 😂

    I always challenge DH though and we have some pretty good convos from there-he nearly always sees my point of view which is a relief too

  7. #37
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    The main thing that I hold my tongue about is my religious views. I don't believe in god, at all. But I completely keep that part of myself to myself because most of my husbands family is all very religious. It matters to them, and it's not important to me, so it's better for me to keep it to myself.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    Yeah I just can't even imagine. I'd want to throat punch someone. My big drama with mum was over a "I won't say happy holidays" thing and once I pointed out how intolerant this was (in a heated way), it took her one day to come back and say sorry. I honestly don't know what I'd do. Would your DH support you? If you go the delete?
    Not sure what's wrong with not saying happy holidays? I'm all for respecting other cultures but other cultures who do not celebrate Xmas need to respect the fact that I do. I certainly would not move to a Muslim country and take offense at happy Ramadan being directed at me.

  9. #39
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    Default Do you always stand up for what you believe in?

    .
    Last edited by Louise41; 09-12-2015 at 12:09.

  10. #40
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    My family is fairly racist and bigoted like many of the posters here have described. I often comment on stupid things they share on Facebook like that refugees get more money than aged pensioners, telling them that it's a hoax with a link to snopes but they don't delete it, ever.

    I hate that they're like this when I love every other aspect of them so much. I think they just think I'm a hippy so never take on board what I say. Both of my parents grew up in both country towns and Sydney's western suburbs where it is very "white". I did too, but went to uni with tones of different nationalities and religions so I learnt a bit of acceptance. My sister worked in the same suburb that I went to uni for a long time so was exposed to heaps of different cultures too, and I find she and I are quite likeminded, whereas our other siblings who worked close to home in the west haven't changed their views.

    So back to the OP, I speak up sometimes, but it's just exhausting to constantly be shut down and have my comments disregarded.


 

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