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  1. #41
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    Default At my wits end :( attachment parenting advice pls

    Oh dear @gingermillie . I'm sorry it's all gone pear shaped again! I'm a bit confused tho.. Has she moved from the spare room to her own room? What's the difference for her in terms of environment? We're you in the spare room with her?

    So, I'm learning new things every day about my darling baby and parenting. We are in the UK for Xmas and as soon as she got here she came down with her first sickness that turned into bronchiolitis. It's been horrendous. Poor mite could barely breathe. Anyways, she was so sick that I had her in bed with me ( in her cot in Oz ) and DH was on the sofa bed. What I've noticed about cosleeping at 6 months is that she just falls asleep so peacefully next to me and sleeps for longer. That wasn't news for nighttime but for naps we're super short on space so I've been lying down next to her 4 times a day and she falls asleep with a quick feed and no fuss. We've had no rocking chair and she's too heavy to rock so a bit of a settle in the Ergo if needed and then a transfer to the bed and boom! Out like a light. SOOO easy.
    My new theory is to stop all of societies pressures and follow nature.. We have all the tools and it's just taken being out of the home environment for me to tap into them.

    I've also noticed that if her awake time has been particularly stimulating then she does self settle with a little cry to transition to sleep. I was lying next to her and she was tired but not quite there. She cried on and off for about 5 mins while I was lying next to her and then fell asleep peacefully.

    It's fascinating to watch.

    So basically DH and I are rethinking the whole settling/sleeping. If I spend 4 hours a day at home in Oz trying to put her down for naps but here she just goes down easily then I need to scrap all the 'must be in her cot and put her self to sleep' pressures and go with what baby needs.

    Trust me, I was NEVER going to be a co sleeper but even DH has to admit that since we've been in this tiny apartment in the UK she's settled so much easier and we're all getting a lot more sleep!

    I may do a hybrid when I go home of all day naps in our bed ( and as soon as she's asleep I roll out ) and the bed time sleep transferred to her cot once she's asleep.

    I've also realised that no two babies/households are the same and it's silly of me to hold her against some benchmark. We all just have to do what we feel comfortable with and what works!

    The irony is I looked down my nose at attachment parenting and cosleeping when I was pregnant and well.. Here we are.. The little angels made me eat my words!

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (27-12-2015)

  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Oh dear @gingermillie . I'm sorry it's all gone pear shaped again! I'm a bit confused tho.. Has she moved from the spare room to her own room? What's the difference for her in terms of environment? We're you in the spare room with her?

    So, I'm learning new things every day about my darling baby and parenting. We are in the UK for Xmas and as soon as she got here she came down with her first sickness that turned into bronchiolitis. It's been horrendous. Poor mite could barely breathe. Anyways, she was so sick that I had her in bed with me ( in her cot in Oz ) and DH was on the sofa bed. What I've noticed about cosleeping at 6 months is that she just falls asleep so peacefully next to me and sleeps for longer. That wasn't news for nighttime but for naps we're super short on space so I've been lying down next to her 4 times a day and she falls asleep with a quick feed and no fuss. We've had no rocking chair and she's too heavy to rock so a bit of a settle in the Ergo if needed and then a transfer to the bed and boom! Out like a light. SOOO easy.
    My new theory is to stop all of societies pressures and follow nature.. We have all the tools and it's just taken being out of the home environment for me to tap into them.

    I've also noticed that if her awake time has been particularly stimulating then she does self settle with a little cry to transition to sleep. I was lying next to her and she was tired but not quite there. She cried on and off for about 5 mins while I was lying next to her and then fell asleep peacefully.

    It's fascinating to watch.

    So basically DH and I are rethinking the whole settling/sleeping. If I spend 4 hours a day at home in Oz trying to put her down for naps but here she just goes down easily then I need to scrap all the 'must be in her cot and put her self to sleep' pressures and go with what baby needs.

    Trust me, I was NEVER going to be a co sleeper but even DH has to admit that since we've been in this tiny apartment in the UK she's settled so much easier and we're all getting a lot more sleep!

    I may do a hybrid when I go home of all day naps in our bed ( and as soon as she's asleep I roll out ) and the bed time sleep transferred to her cot once she's asleep.

    I've also realised that no two babies/households are the same and it's silly of me to hold her against some benchmark. We all just have to do what we feel comfortable with and what works!

    The irony is I looked down my nose at attachment parenting and cosleeping when I was pregnant and well.. Here we are.. The little angels made me eat my words!
    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
    Yep, lie down, feed to sleep. Have a nap yourself. It is the easiest and most sure fire path.

    Certainly 1000% more effective than any patting and shooshing!! What nonsense that is 😂😂😂😂😂

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to ScubaGal For This Useful Post:

    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (27-12-2015)

  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScubaGal View Post
    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
    Yep, lie down, feed to sleep. Have a nap yourself. It is the easiest and most sure fire path.

    Certainly 1000% more effective than any patting and shooshing!! What nonsense that is 😂😂😂😂😂
    Hehehe.. A total load of bollox.. I think it actually annoys her!

    Maybe it's the extra help with DH here full time or maybe it's the new nap/sleep thing but I got on the plane bone tired and seriously concerned about how I would keep going and now I feel back to normal! ( For a 35 year old lol )

  6. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScubaGal View Post
    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
    Yep, lie down, feed to sleep. Have a nap yourself. It is the easiest and most sure fire path.

    Certainly 1000% more effective than any patting and shooshing!! What nonsense that is 😂😂😂😂😂
    Couldn't agree more!!!

  7. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Hehehe.. A total load of bollox.. I think it actually annoys her!

    Maybe it's the extra help with DH here full time or maybe it's the new nap/sleep thing but I got on the plane bone tired and seriously concerned about how I would keep going and now I feel back to normal! ( For a 35 year old lol )
    Yes I'd happily Co-sleep but DD hates it unfortunately. Way less settled in bed with me which is sad. She kicks me constantly and won't settle. The other night she was up 1-4am so took her into bed with me and she kicked, huffed, puffed, tossed and turned for 3 restless hours.
    Our situation was that she was in her cot in our spare room which has a queen bed in there. I'd go in to feed at her first wake up and sleep in the room with her (her back in her cot though). As she was sleeping through til 4,5,6am I wasn't really sleeping in there much with her. We had to move her cot into her room (just across the hall) and whether it's coincidence I don't know but from that day (a week now) all sleeping day and night is out the window. I tried moving her cot back to the spare room after 3 nights which didn't help. I then moved her back to her proper room and bought a king single bed so I can sleep in the room with her to help her get settled still no good. She's crying at every nap, night sleep. Last night she went to bed 6:30, woke 7:30, 8:30, 12, 4, up for the day at 5:50 😁😁😁 she had 2 naps today and was basically up from 6am-8pm.
    I picked BIL up from airport last night we haven't seen him for 2 years so didn't get to bed til 11:30 then up feeding til 12:30 I am so tired I am breaking. She's very unhappy about sleeping I'm hoping it's just a short phase. Thank god DH has 3 weeks off. Poor thing thought he was having holidays! 😴😴
    My DD hated shush pat too! I tried it for 2 days way back and gave up it made her worse. Our go to settling method is rocking the cot (on wheels luckily DH is excellent at this settling!) or cuddles from me followed by boob. If that doesn't work I'm all out of ideas lol. Keeping her asleep well that's the million $$$ question.

  8. #46
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    At 5.5 my bub moved his wake time to 2.5 hours. Then now at 7 months we are at 3 hours. He too looked tired at the 1.5-2 hour mark but just wouldn't go to sleep. It's taken some getting used to staying awake longer.

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    @gingermillie

    I think you are chopping and changing too much. Just pick one thing and try it for 2-3 wks.

    With dd3- age 12wks. I'm not spending more than 5min to put her to sleep. So I wait till she is tired then feed till she passes out. If it takes longer and I know she is isn't tired enough I pop her in the carrier and continue my day. When tired enough I wrap her up and hold her till she falls asleep. Usually 3-5min.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    @gingermillie

    I think you are chopping and changing too much. Just pick one thing and try it for 2-3 wks.

    With dd3- age 12wks. I'm not spending more than 5min to put her to sleep. So I wait till she is tired then feed till she passes out. If it takes longer and I know she is isn't tired enough I pop her in the carrier and continue my day. When tired enough I wrap her up and hold her till she falls asleep. Usually 3-5min.
    Unfortunately we had no choice but to move her due to BIL coming. I never thought it would cause so many issues as she was already sleeping in her cot for 2+ months and without me in the room. I'm thinking it might he something else up as tonight awake 7:30, 8, 11 already. Currently trying to feed her to sleep even though she fed at 8. We've done nothing else different apart from switching room. We've had great times our techniques and rhythms were working perfectly I am stumped as to what's going on and we had been using those techniques for 3+ months night sleeps have never been this bad. She was doing 6:30pm-7:30am with 1-2 wake ups. Doing all the same things, wrapping, dark room, white noise, etc. but both day and night sleeps are now shot. I think BIL (childless) will be getting the snip after spending 2 weeks here 😂

  11. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    @gingermillie

    I think you are chopping and changing too much. Just pick one thing and try it for 2-3 wks.

    With dd3- age 12wks. I'm not spending more than 5min to put her to sleep. So I wait till she is tired then feed till she passes out. If it takes longer and I know she is isn't tired enough I pop her in the carrier and continue my day. When tired enough I wrap her up and hold her till she falls asleep. Usually 3-5min.
    Yep this. DD stayed awake for three hours this arvo and then took less than 15 mins to put to bed.

  12. #50
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    Default At my wits end :( attachment parenting advice pls

    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    Yes I'd happily Co-sleep but DD hates it unfortunately. Way less settled in bed with me which is sad. She kicks me constantly and won't settle. The other night she was up 1-4am so took her into bed with me and she kicked, huffed, puffed, tossed and turned for 3 restless hours.
    Our situation was that she was in her cot in our spare room which has a queen bed in there. I'd go in to feed at her first wake up and sleep in the room with her (her back in her cot though). As she was sleeping through til 4,5,6am I wasn't really sleeping in there much with her. We had to move her cot into her room (just across the hall) and whether it's coincidence I don't know but from that day (a week now) all sleeping day and night is out the window. I tried moving her cot back to the spare room after 3 nights which didn't help. I then moved her back to her proper room and bought a king single bed so I can sleep in the room with her to help her get settled still no good. She's crying at every nap, night sleep. Last night she went to bed 6:30, woke 7:30, 8:30, 12, 4, up for the day at 5:50 😁😁😁 she had 2 naps today and was basically up from 6am-8pm.
    I picked BIL up from airport last night we haven't seen him for 2 years so didn't get to bed til 11:30 then up feeding til 12:30 I am so tired I am breaking. She's very unhappy about sleeping I'm hoping it's just a short phase. Thank god DH has 3 weeks off. Poor thing thought he was having holidays! 😴😴
    My DD hated shush pat too! I tried it for 2 days way back and gave up it made her worse. Our go to settling method is rocking the cot (on wheels luckily DH is excellent at this settling!) or cuddles from me followed by boob. If that doesn't work I'm all out of ideas lol. Keeping her asleep well that's the million $$$ question.
    I'm sorry you're so tired. **hugs** it's SOOO hard. Hopefully DH at home will help lighten the load.

    Defo remain consistent with one thing . You've moved her cot now so of shouldn't take too much longer for her to realise that's her new space. Do you play with her in the cot/room during non nap time?

    They're always changing. At home in Oz she hated co sleeping a month ago. Now in the UK she loves it!

    I've also noticed DD's awake time is a lot longer. Today she only had three naps. Woke up at 7am and napped at 9.15 for nearly 3 hours! Then again for 50 mins at 2.45 and then 30 mins at 6.45 ( in the car ) and bed at 8pm..

    You may have already said but how long are you keeping her awake before a nap? Lots of physical exertion?

    I'm on holiday so the routine and clocks gone out the window. She basically starts crying when she's really tired. We don't put her down before that. I figured rubbing eyes gave me at least another 30 minutes.

    As for keeping her asleep once she's down - got nothing. Sorry! 😁😁😁
    Last edited by amiracle4me; 27-12-2015 at 07:00.


 
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