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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    I know your intentions are very good and I really appreciate your comments when I've asked for help. I'm fragile at the moment and things like this hit a nerve for me. It's definitely more to do with me but that doesn't change my feelings of inadequacy, incompetence and inferiority when I hear that everyone else goes through this and copes fine. Because I'm not coping and it just reinforces how crap I am at this when I can't handle it but seemingly everyone else can 😢 it makes me feel like the abnormal one because I can't handle my 'normal baby' who takes ages to get to sleep, wakes up 5-6 times a night with a 2hr crying awake stint, up early and who doesn't respond to any of the usual settling methods people suggest (shush-pat, co-sleeping etc) and can often be an exhausting grumpy bum during the day. I need help to cope, I'm working on getting that help.
    I couldn't read this and not respond.

    Firstly just wanted to say that you're a great mum. It is obviously from your posts.

    Secondly, sleep depravation is a type of torture. Humans are designed to sleep. It's perfectly reasonable to not cope with inadequate sleep. Going back in time women would have lived in groups and shared the responsibility of looking after a newborn. Evolution hasn't caught up with the modern world where one person is expected to do this largely on their own as humans still need sleep. I'm not sure if that makes sense, I'm currently sleep deprived and bad enough at expressing myself when I've had adequate sleep. My point is please don't beat yourself up that you're not coping too well at the moment.

    *hugs*

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to babyno1onboard For This Useful Post:

    gingermillie  (12-01-2016),Little Miss Sunshine  (12-01-2016),nh2489  (12-01-2016),VicPark  (12-01-2016)

  3. #72
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    Also.. As PP has said.. Does she take a bottle? Can you give her to a family member for a few hours a day to catch up on sleep? Get a cleaner? I just got one once a month and it's made me feel so much better about letting the house get messy during the week as I know it's clean, just baby stuff everywhere lol.

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    gingermillie  (12-01-2016)

  5. #73
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    Whatever u do make it ur choice.... We were having troubles with our Bub waking heaps at night and taking heaps to go to sleep ( was co sleeping) and my hubby moved him into another room and went and watched him himself, that triggered over tired me into insomnia for a few weeks, I could even sleep in daytime I went to a dr who specialises in helping mums and bubs at " the possums clinic" she told me to just find a spot for me and Bub, well he's still up a fair bit but the phase passed now we still co sleep different room to hubby....I didn't think sleep therapy admission would be right for me the more I heard about it. Now every time I get a bad run I just hope it won't be for longer than a week and so far so good. I still bf on demand ( which is often ) he's 18 mths, just started to eat well last few weeks. Now whenever I get stressed can't sleep, was never an issue before....

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    gingermillie  (12-01-2016)

  7. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    OP: best of luck with the residential school. Will
    No Doubt add more tricks to your parenting tool-belt even if you don't implement everything they suggest.

    To help with the tired-ness etc can you put bub in care a day a week? Or get a home helper for a couple of half days? Or sleep during the day and just let the housework go to crap? Or get a cleaner?

    The sucky newborn period will be over soon. Hang in there. Don't worry about anything other than feeding yourself and bub and sleeping. Everything else can wait for the time being xx
    Thank you 😀 she has a spot in child care starting next month 2 days a week. Earlier than I wanted as I'm just doing a few hours work from home and I'm struggling with the idea of being away from her but I had to take the spot as its a fantastic centre attached to my work and very hard to get into. Am going start very slowly with a couple of hours each time. I want to feel a bit more settled with her at home before she starts too so can delay by a few weeks if I need to. But a few hours a week will help me get my work (and postgrad study omfg) done and maybe even get to the dentist/get a Pap smear in my 'me time' 😂

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  9. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    @gingermillie, I highly recommend Lisa from CYH at Edwardstown. She helped me with DD when she wasn't sleeping well. She's lovely, has 2 kids of her own and isn't one if the nazi MCHNs you often get.

    I think there are two Lisa's, so ask for the one with curly blonde hair.

    I think Torrens House will be amazing for you both. They have paediatricians who can rule out physical problems before you start.

    I like you had the 'normal' baby, who did 'normal' things and I was definitely not a just run with it, it will get better on it's own. Yes I know babies all sleep through when they're ready and at different ages, but I couldn't just keep doing what I was doing and not try and change something.

    The fact you are seeking help doesn't make you a bad mother for not coping, or wanting to change things, or not being willing to accept your baby is 'normal' and do nothing until it passes. You're seeking help as you know there is *something* that will help your DD sleep better, yes it is likely something you can do differently, but that's not a reflection on you as a parent, all it says is that you haven't quite been able to pinpoint those 1 or 2 or 3 key things that will work for *your* bub that you're also comfortable with. Let's call it your 'magic potion'.

    Finding the right combination of those key things what ever they may be (solids, less feeds, different settling techniques, a structured schedule.... Whatever... Your magic potion) can be like finding a needle in a haystack and that's what BH and CYH nurses and Torrens House are there for.... Empowering you to make the right changes for your bub and for you.

    You've done such a great job with her sleep issues for this long, I commend you and wish you all the best for finding your magic potion.
    Thanks @A-Squared I'll try and see Lisa there at edwardstown I can't remember who ran the day service I went to there back in September but she was nice. I don't like the woman I've seen at Marion twice now but the woman who ran the day service yesterday was ok.

  10. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lisau77 View Post
    Whatever u do make it ur choice.... We were having troubles with our Bub waking heaps at night and taking heaps to go to sleep ( was co sleeping) and my hubby moved him into another room and went and watched him himself, that triggered over tired me into insomnia for a few weeks, I could even sleep in daytime I went to a dr who specialises in helping mums and bubs at " the possums clinic" she told me to just find a spot for me and Bub, well he's still up a fair bit but the phase passed now we still co sleep different room to hubby....I didn't think sleep therapy admission would be right for me the more I heard about it. Now every time I get a bad run I just hope it won't be for longer than a week and so far so good. I still bf on demand ( which is often ) he's 18 mths, just started to eat well last few weeks. Now whenever I get stressed can't sleep, was never an issue before....
    Thank you for sharing. I too find I'm too wired to sleep and wind down sometimes which is really frustrating. DH says go to sleep early but I struggle and also struggle to 'nap during the day when baby naps' half the time she wakes at 40 minutes and might or might not resettle do by the time I might fall asleep 10 minutes later she'll wake up and I'll feel even worse and groggy 😴😴

  11. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Also.. As PP has said.. Does she take a bottle? Can you give her to a family member for a few hours a day to catch up on sleep? Get a cleaner? I just got one once a month and it's made me feel so much better about letting the house get messy during the week as I know it's clean, just baby stuff everywhere lol.
    Nope no family to help except DH on the weekend. She is just starting to accept a bottle of ebm the past 2 weeks (nuk - I have tried 8 brands lol) but most she has had is 30ml.
    I've organized lite n easy lunch/dinner for next week for both of us just in case.

  12. #78
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    Default 5 month old sleeping and feeding issues - do I need a routine?

    So we thankfully had our best night in 3 weeks but failed in starting a 'routine' as DD decided to sleep in and well we're all tired and she was getting her 6 month vax today so we weren't going to wake her up when she went back to sleep around 6:30am. Wake ups were
    11:30pm (feed), 3am (feed), 4:45am (resettle), 5:45am (tried to resettle but fed) she stayed awake til 6:30 chatting practicing her bird and cat noises then fell asleep til 8:30! We all woke up feeling good.
    ETA: the point of my post which I forgot (my brain is mush) was to say thank you for all of the kind and heartfelt encouragement. Just hearing people in the same boat, feeling the same things makes me feel better as I'm not alone. I'm not the only one. And I have huge empathy for anyone struggling with parenting. It's bigger than sleep for me I'm struggling with being a parent. Thanks everyone 😘
    Last edited by gingermillie; 12-01-2016 at 19:17.

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  14. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    Nope no family to help except DH on the weekend. She is just starting to accept a bottle of ebm the past 2 weeks (nuk - I have tried 8 brands lol) but most she has had is 30ml.
    I've organized lite n easy lunch/dinner for next week for both of us just in case.
    Can I just say that you may not feel lucky but you are! I can't get DD to take a bottle and it's driving me mad..

    Did you try the pigeon Peristaltic? I hear they are good so was planning on buying one tomorrow? Any tips for getting it to work??

  15. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Can I just say that you may not feel lucky but you are! I can't get DD to take a bottle and it's driving me mad..

    Did you try the pigeon Peristaltic? I hear they are good so was planning on buying one tomorrow? Any tips for getting it to work??
    I wouldn't bank on my DD taking a full feed lol but I'll persist. Last week was the first time she actually sucked it was momentous. I did try pigeon with no luck sorry. Have you tried nuk?
    These are the brands I tried:
    The ones from neonatal care (no brand lol they gave us heaps when she was in hospital)
    Mimijumi (showed promise but no luck)
    Avent
    Medela calma
    Evenflo
    Pigeon narrow neck
    Nuk
    Closer to nature
    Bbox sippy cup
    Closer to nature sippy cup
    Nuk sippy cup

    She likes the nuk bottle and sippy cup so I suspect it's something to do with the softness of the silicone teats and also the flow. Nuk was the last brand I bought. I tried it and she just bit it at first which was progress as she wasn't outright refusing even though she wasn't sucking. Then last week she was sucking her thumb and my BIL said she's wanting to suck why not let her suck the bottle teat so we just took the teat out for her to play with and she put it in her mouth and sucked away. We were astonished. So tried some water in the bottle and she sucked. I've tried 20-30ml of either water or ebm a few times since and most times (not every time) she's taken it. Today I gave 30ml water in the nuk sippy cup for the first time and she also drank from that. I have childcare orientation Friday so planning to take some ebm to see if she'll take it from them.
    Maybe take the teat out to play with like we did? Not sure if that helped but worth a shot?


 

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