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  1. #1
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    Default There is no such thing as sleep associations

    Just wanted to hear from anyone whose babies slept thru despite alleged "sleep associations". I've always suspected they were a load of s***. After 3 months of trying, my ds2 still doesn't sleep thru despite zero sleep associations. There must be babies on the other side who also disprove the theory.

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    How old is your ds2?

    Depending on how you define sleeping through, the night before last ds (22 months) slept from 8pm to 6am. He doesn't do that everynight though, he sometimes wakes about 10-11pm. I still feed him to sleep and for resettling, Nan gets him to sleep in the pram and the carers at cc sing to him. If you define sleeping through as 5+ hours he has been doing that for at least a year. He was doing it early too (4 months?) but at about 8-10 months of age he started waking every 3 hours again.

    Eta. We also cosleep.

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    ALL babies I think have sleep associations (as do older children and grown humans), whether it be a boob/bottle/dummy or a comforter/blanket.
    One just seems to be more desirable than the other depending on what camp you're in!

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    Default There is no such thing as sleep associations

    My dd has a little teddy and a dummy, she really struggles to sleep without them.
    Recently teddy went missing and the exact replica we have just wouldn't do.
    She went from sleeping 12 hours straight (and has done so on her own accord from 3m) to waking constantly.
    Thankfully teddy was found after a few days and sleep resumed!
    I think everyone has sleep associations.

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    Ds has some pretty concrete sleep associations IMO. Routines - at night we have a consistent bed routine, and a slightly different routine for day naps.

    He uses a dummy. I will rock him and pat him (and if things are terrible or he is sick I will bf him) on the nights he won't go back to sleep. But he can and does sleep through without a dummy, or rocking, or bf, or even the bed routine if he feels that way inclined! Often there is no obvious reason to me why some nights he sleeps through and others he won't.

    I think really it's just babies (and humans in general). You can do this and that, cut bf or take away the dummy. But at the end of the day what works for some won't work for others. Some kids are sleepers, many are not. Just like adults really.

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    Default There is no such thing as sleep associations

    There might be a misunderstanding here? Bubs need some sleep associations to sleep through. It's just up to the parents if they are happy with ones that are known for resulting in night waking (dummy, feed/pat to sleep etc).

    Does bub have a solid night routine? A positive' (as in no adult intervention required through the night) sleep association such as a comforter? Is bubs sleep environment (temp, bedding, music, feed etc) the same at bedtime as it is when bub wakes?

    If bub has a positive sleep association and no other associations that are likely to encourage waking - perhaps there are other factors at play?
    How old is bub? Maybe bub just isn't old enough to sleep through? Could medical issues or solid intake be a factor?
    How are day naps?

    I understand your frustration.
    Last edited by VicPark; 05-12-2015 at 00:08.

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    Not sure I really follow either.

    All my kids (all 4 of them) still have sleep associations. Even my 10 year old.

    All sleep through (probably between 3 and 4 nights a week). Night wake ups have nothing to do with associations (need to go to toilet, fall out of bed). My youngest is just over 2.

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    I don't really know exactly what you mean.
    But I have 3 children who all sleep through the night, after being terrible sleepers as babies. I did nothing to 'make them' sleep through, they just did it when they were ready. It's all a distant memory now.

    I always like to encourage mums to stop stressing about what the textbooks/other parents say. It puts too much pressure on you. Babies/kids WILL sleep through the night eventually!

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    Ugh who the hell came up with the terms "positive/negative" sleep associations?
    Parental involvement = negative, implies bad and people get the idea that they're doing something wrong by responding to their infants needs. And "positive" sleep associations aren't necessarily better for the child, they're just "better" for the parent who doesn't have to get up and help their child.
    Wouldn't terms like natural and artificial sleep associations be more accurate?

    Sorry for the tangential rant.

    Edited to add - there's obviously nothing wrong with having a "positive SA" but it sucks when new parents think they're doing something wrong because they're using "negative SAs". Hence my objection.
    Last edited by deku; 05-12-2015 at 09:51.

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    Default There is no such thing as sleep associations

    Quote Originally Posted by deku View Post
    Ugh who the hell came up with the terms "positive/negative" sleep associations?
    Parental involvement = negative, implies bad and people get the idea that they're doing something wrong by responding to their infants needs. And "positive" sleep associations aren't necessarily better for the child, they're just "better" for the parent who doesn't have to get up and help their child.
    Wouldn't terms like natural and artificial sleep associations be more accurate?

    Sorry for the tangential rant.
    It looks like interpretation is all about background and what side of the fence you sit on?

    For me the terms positive and negative aren't directed at the parents but rather refer to the likelihood an aid (for babies mainly) will require adult intervention through the night to maintain. So the 'positive' have a good likelihood of not encouraging night wakings whereas the 'negative' in most cases have a reasonably high likelihood .

    Depending on what side of the fence you sit on natural and artificial might not be an accurate description either. For me they don't capture the pain-in-the-ar$se-ness that comes with associations that require parental intervention through the night to maintain.
    Last edited by VicPark; 05-12-2015 at 07:59.


 

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