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  1. #21
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    a surprise for all of us, the doctor included. I found out I was having twins on the delivery table. four minutes between the births. a bit of a surprise. yes. marie.

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    I found out for my first two because I strongly wanted to, as I felt it would help my connection with them. Don't regret it at all. I felt a real need to do it.

    This time I chose not to find out as it was a surprise baby and so thought a surprise gender would be great. And we already have one of each, the pigeon pair, so I didn't mind what sex this baby was and it just felt different this time.

    Just go with your gut about what to do

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    We found out both times and didn't regret it. Gender isn't a big deal to us though. Our daughter wore plenty of "boys" clothes, and our son has plenty of pink/flowers etc. we found out just because it's about the only thing you CAN know at that stage, and we're both far too impatient to be left without info that we could have if we asked.

    If you think you really want the surprise at the birth though, I'd say go for that. It sounds like you might regret your choice if you do decide to find out.

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    My ds was meant to be a surprise but he had other ideas! I had a lot of scans due to a high risk pregnancy and it was one of the routine growth scans after 20 weeks in which he surprised the sonographer having his bum up and legs spread. It was there for the world to see! We told close family but didn't make it public to everyone else so it was a nice little inner circle secret.

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    We found out. I was just too curious!!! I think it would still be possible to get all organised without knowing the gender though. I don't regret our decision.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGranny View Post
    a surprise for all of us, the doctor included. I found out I was having twins on the delivery table. four minutes between the births. a bit of a surprise. yes. marie.
    What a surprise!!

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    Love hearing all the responses ladies, thank you. Keep them coming 😄

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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    We found out both times and didn't regret it. Gender isn't a big deal to us though. Our daughter wore plenty of "boys" clothes, and our son has plenty of pink/flowers etc. we found out just because it's about the only thing you CAN know at that stage, and we're both far too impatient to be left without info that we could have if we asked.

    If you think you really want the surprise at the birth though, I'd say go for that. It sounds like you might regret your choice if you do decide to find out.
    I too buy clothes from the boys section for DD some times. I find a lot of them look gender neutral whereas the girls section is very pink and flowery.

    Twice I've been told my 'son' is very cute when DD has been wearing pinky flowery things. Lol.

    It doesn't really matter in the end what they wear, babies are always cute!

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    I never found out with all three of my pregnancies. And neither did my brother or my brother in law with their Kids.

    We loved the surprise each and every time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    Re: bonding Id thought I add that I fell heel over feet in love with my first who was a surprise the days after his birth.

    My second who I knew was a girl it took me well over a month to love her. So I don't think finding or not finding help or prevent bonding with your baby. It depends on circumstances.
    I think it depends on the person too. for me, as others have pointed out, it makes it more real as you have a bit more of a clue as to their identity. I find I'm also seeing patterns in his little movements and when he's most active/quiet and it helps me feel like I'm getting to know him a bit better.

    obviously everyone is different though.


 

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