May be a weird title but I've decided this is absolutely what I need to do. I want to make some promises to myself and Dd and make sure that I put all of the effort in to living up to those promises. I thought others might like to join me?
I am going to be brutally honest here.
Last night I had a moment, a moment that had be in tears quite unexpectedly.
I view myself as a good mum, my Dd is happy, she has everything she wants and needs in the scheme of things.
I have been working full time for a couple of months and am out of the house 12 hours a day 5 days a week. I obviously love coming home to see my Dd, but a lot of the time I am tired, cranky and a bit unmotivated when it comes to routine.
Dd probably stays up too late, and dinners aren't always as healthy as they should be, I pretty much let her do as she pleases while I sit on my lazy bum and try and unwind.
My job is not physically demanding, I enjoy it and it will ensure that I am securing a decent career in the future but I am away from Dd a lot and don't think I've been putting in enough effort to give Dd the quality time she needs and deserves.
I looked at her last night, just happily playing and I cried, I cried because she has to go to daycare at 6.30am, I cried because she plays all day with other people and other kids and I'm not there. So I bundled her up and cuddled her to sleep. She sleeps with me every night but I just had a moment where I needed her to know I was there and I needed to know she was there.
I'm going to make an effort to implement a better routine, that involves me completely.
I'm going to read to her more and sing to her more and play with her more.
I'm going to plan more fun things on the weekends that revolve around Dd's interests instead of worrying to much about cleaning. (We do things on the weekends of course but it's mostly repetitive activities).
I'm going to start a couple of Christmas traditions now she is older and can understand.
Does anyone else feel this way?