I don' t have any problem with friendships outside of the marriage. I can see how working with people 8 hours a day would lead to friendships developing. that is fine. What would be a problem for me, would be if the friendships started to take away from family time. Even if the time was spent on a golf course, or fishing boat. I would not be happy if I was to be a 'golf widow' or if the children had to wait for dad to finish 'helping a mate' before we could do something together as a family. Nothing should be more important than family time. marie.
My dh is a nurse and is the main carer of our children. He has loads of female friends. Interestingly enough they are mainly from work as the other mums are a bit weird about playdates. He will meet up with old colleagues for lunch or coffee. I have no issues with it, but then again he has never given me a reason not to trust him. I work in a male dominated industry and have quite a few male friends.
My ex was very close with a female co worker. In all honesty, I didn't mind at first. He was very open in telling me how well they got along, hid nothing and frequently mentioned her when telling me about his day. It was only until I saw a text from her on his phone which read "thanks princess" that I started to feel a bit insecure. Why was she calling him "princess"?...was it what he called her?! I asked him and he laughed it off and said it was just what she playfully called him. I thought it was strange and admittedly I felt a bit jealous that they obviously had this playful banter going on, but I didn't think he would or did ever cross a line. Of all the crap I went through with him over the years, him cheating wasn't anything I was concerned about.
I'm not sure why that text bothered me so much, but it did.
I think anything that's okay with one gender should be fine with anyone. People are people... Why on earth should their genitals or their gender affect who they can socialize with and how?
Most of my friends are male, and my partner has a very close female friend. It's never been an issue:
The only time anyone ever cheated on me was with a guy (and he was straight... Just very drunk :P)
My H regularly talks about the women at his work and how he buys them coffee , has lunch with them ,and I've seen him kiss one or 2 on the cheek if we are out and he sees them. Does it bother me... No.. He is who he is..
Last edited by Louise41; 02-12-2015 at 14:58.
I don't mind so long as the friendship is respectful of my place in DPs life.
Since @meredithgrey asked - I have no issues with DP having close female friends. The only time there's been a problem was when her best friend tried to convince DP I was forcing her into having babies etc. They didn't speak for ages and it's only recently (3 years on) that I am okay with them hanging out again.
But that was a special case, I generally am not bothered. My closest friends are female. My best friend is a single mum and we often do dinner together (with our kids) on nights DP is working night shift, and our entire relationship was founded on analysing our relationships - including sex and relationship issues.
DP knows this and as far as I know isn't bothered, I dare say she has similar convos with her friends.
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