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  1. #21
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    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    I asked DH this question last night.
    He said friends from before us - fine
    New friends of the opposite s.x - not so fine. But neither of us could really articulate why given that we trust each other. Less about us and more about the other persons intentions. But again we're not sure why their intentions are an issue if we trust each other? Interesting conversation.

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  3. #22
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    We have never crossed this bridge so I can give a definite answer. But I admit to be being the jealous type (I work on not letting rule me) so for us it wouldn't work. I don't have male friends because I don't feel the need or want for any so haven't developed any.

    I know it's corny but my husband is my best friend.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GucciDahling View Post
    I asked DH this question last night.
    He said friends from before us - fine
    New friends of the opposite s.x - not so fine. But neither of us could really articulate why given that we trust each other. Less about us and more about the other persons intentions. But again we're not sure why their intentions are an issue if we trust each other? Interesting conversation.
    This is us exactly.

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    DH has female friends (met them after we were married), it doesn't bother me.

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    I asked my DH about this too.

    His opinion was "Why would I want to go out to dinner with a woman who was not my wife?!"

    I think for both of us, having a sandwich and a coffee during your lunch break is ok, but dinner out, going out for drinks, movies etc are for the two of us to enjoy together.

    We also both shared the opinion that whether you were friends before or after marriage, flirting, discussing our private relationship and talk about s.ex are completely inappropriate.

    Our golden rule is "Would you behave this way in front of your partner?" If the answer is "No" you shouldn't be doing it!


    Blossom

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  10. #26
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    Interesting opinions thanks ladies. I agree with most of what has been said here - was wondering of my opinion was in the minority or not. Seems like it isnt X

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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    We have never crossed this bridge so I can give a definite answer. But I admit to be being the jealous type (I work on not letting rule me) so for us it wouldn't work. I don't have male friends because I don't feel the need or want for any so haven't developed any.

    I know it's corny but my husband is my best friend.
    We are exactly the same. Between his work hours, the 5 kids and their sports, and me being in and out of hospital with DD, our time together is precious so there's no way we want to spend it with other people. DP is definitely my best friend.

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    I think it's okay, as long as it's strictly friendship.

    I believe a lot of male/female friendships involve some deeper feelings on at least one person's behalf. These feelings might be anything from a slight crush on the other person to being secretly and completely in love with their friend. It's dangerous territory for marriages when there's more at play than just being platonic pals.

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    I don't put limits on my husband's friendships, and he doesn't put limits on mine.

    We have on general rule- do not choose anything over family, family comes first.
    But that is not specific to friends.

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    I have absolutely no issues with opposite sex friends. The only rule would be 'don't pash/shag them, but that's an unspoken rule that would just be assumed. I trust my DH, I have no reason not to, so why would I get any say in who he is friends with? I wouldn't dare put up with him telling me who I could be friends with, so it goes both ways.

    In an otherwise healthy, stable relationship, without any prior trust issues, any form of controlling behaviour - such as dictating friends - rings alarm bells for me.


 

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