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  1. #1
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    Default Your opinions please

    I look after a boy during the week.
    He is almost 18 months old, I have a 16 month old.

    I've been looking after him once a week for a year so he knows me and my daughter very well.

    Problem is he doesn't stop crying..

    He doesn't walk (not even close) but I'm not suggesting this is an issue I'm just trying to give a few more details about him etc
    He was always fed sachet foods (maybe still does at home)

    His parents are very "by the book" save our sleep kinda thing. He must sleep now etc etc.

    I've had him days where he gets up ryan at 730 an by 9 he is uncontrollably screaming to the point where there is nothing I can do. I hold him, he's changed, fed and he doesn't stop crying.
    So I put him to bed. And he falls asleep straight away and doesn't wake until 1.. then he has lunch and is uncontrollable again. So I put him back to sleep.. and he goes back to sleep at 2. Then I wake him at 430.
    Surely this isn't normal?

    I got him at 8 this morning. He woke up at 730 and came straight here. Uncontrollably crying as soon as mum left (perhaps even before she left) I went for a walk with the kids in the pram at 9 and he went straight to sleep.

    I don't understand.
    How can a kid cry all the time when nothing is wrong?
    Does this sound odd to you?

    His mum works full time and dad works 3 days a week. So he is with me one day and another family member one day and another one other day.

    His dad went on holidays for a few weeks and the boy seemed better in that time.

    I think it's the over tiredness that I'm thinking is wrong? Very underdeveloped for his age etc.

    What else can I do??

  2. #2
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    i think he sounds extremely tired.Save our sleep doesn't work for everyone. is he on solids at all? ie: finger food? could he be hungry? i think by 18 months old he should nearly well be walking. My youngest walked at 16 months but was trying to as well by walking along holding onto furniture. Does his mum feed him when he wakes?

  3. #3
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    He comes to my place from waking and he gets breakfast straight away.
    He gets finger food here. I'm not spoon feeding him when he is more than capable of eating food.. and he does eat it here.
    And he cries when I feed him.

    I understand all kids are different and because I've got a child the same it's hard not to compare just a bit.
    But it's beyond a joke. My mum has seen him and agrees something is up. Same with my neighbor etc.
    Nothing seems to work.
    And although I've mentioned it to the mother I don't want to overstep boundaries. I'm not the parent after all.

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    From your post he is only up for an hour / hour and a half and then needs to go back to sleep, and sleeps for hours.

    If this happens every day at home as well, then it definitely sounds like something is wrong to me. I would also be concerned with his development - he does sound like he is delayed. Although that could be a product of sleeping all day.

    I'm not too sure how you could broach it with his parents without causing offence and overstepping boundaries.

    What did his mother say when you mentioned it?

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    Does not sound normal at all and I would be concerned.

    I think little guy needs to see a paed to see why he is so tired all the time, maybe his iron levels are low or something? This could be effecting his development (the no walking) as well.

    Whilst I can totally understand your desire not to step on any toes, I think the parents need to realise this isn't standard for his age. Maybe they just don't realise and think it's normal for him to still be sleeping that much....

    I think it's also a bit weird for him to spend 3 days per week in 3 different places, but I guess that might not be preventable. If he were in daycare 3 days per week I'm certain the carers would have expressed their concerns about his sleep patterns to the parents.

  6. #6
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    Thanks ladies.. it definitely seems that I should say something a bit more. @SSecret Squirrel he is only up for an hour or so and then back to sleep.
    My daughter is 16 months old and only has one sleep during the day and sleeps 13 hours at night.
    And whilst I said I know every kid is different it just seems to much to me.

    When I've mentioned it all she said was "maybe he had a rough night"
    And that strikes me as odd becauze I know if my daughter has a rough night. Wouldn't she as well?

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    At that age my daughter was only having one sleep a day, sometimes two if she had little catnaps. That is A LOT of sleep and is what is most concerning. I know kids who didn't wall until 19 months and were fine so that doesn't worry me so much. Does he get sufficient sleep at nighttime do you know? Something isn't quite right if he's so fatigued all the time.

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    I'd be trying to suss out what happens with his sleep at night. You say they are into the whole Save our Sleep thing which means he's probably on a pretty strict routine. Maybe whatever they are doing isn't working for him.

    But I don't know, my son has never been a great sleeper and I KNOW if he has a rough night, there's no maybe about it. I can't understand how they can be unaware of how he sleeps. And even if my son has a bad night, he has never been that tired that he just sleeps all day. He might have an extra long nap but the way this boy is behaving sounds worrying to me.

    I obviously don't know these people but what you've said about the situation makes me think that they are trying to force him into a routine that doesn't fit his needs, and if they are following Tizzie Hall, they are probably just ignoring him all night. But like I said, I don't know them and I only know what you've said so maybe I'm wrong.

  9. #9
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    My thoughts are he is sleeping too much during the day and perhaps not enough at night and that he is very unsettled due to being looked after by so many different people through the week.

  10. #10
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    Is there any chance you could ask for contact details of the others who look after him? Obviously depends on your relationship with the mum, but to try to suss out whether he's the same there?Let mum know you'd like to be on the same page as the other carers?
    Definitely doesn't sound like he's getting enough sleep...any idea when he goes to bed at night?


 

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