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  1. #21
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    I agree with others who have said you should keep your baby. Your family has offered to help you, and you want to keep him/her. If your boyfriend really loves you, he will stick by you. If he can't stick by you, then you're probably better off without him.

  2. #22
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    Terrific advice from wonderful people, truly the 'spirit of bubhub'. OP - regardless of the path you take, know that there are always people here who will give you honest advice and share their experiences. This thread has given me goosebumps.

    Back to topic ...

  3. #23
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    I have been thinking a lot about this thread and how to respond.

    I was in a similar situation to you OP, although 10 years older and married. My decision to keep my child came at the expense of my marriage. It's been a rough road, I won't lie.

    But I have come to the conclusion that a guy who is a keeper would ultimately be by your side, not put pressure on you to give in to him. A guy who is a keeper would take responsibility for the part he played in you becoming pregnant in the first place. A guy who is a keeper and who genuinely doesn't want children would have a vasectomy to make sure he doesn't put himself in this situation.

    A guy who threatens to leave, withholds affection or makes you fearful for your future together at a point when you are pregnant and vulnerable doesn't know how to work through difficult times and isn't on your team.

    Fortunately for you, you have other support, and even if you didn't, you don't need a guy by your side.

    It's not easy raising a child. It's not easy raising a child as a single mum. But you can do it, if it feels right to you. There are plenty of women here to support you along the way.

    Ultimately I believe that it's your body, your choice. He's made his feelings clear. Now what are yours?

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  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    I have been thinking a lot about this thread and how to respond.

    I was in a similar situation to you OP, although 10 years older and married. My decision to keep my child came at the expense of my marriage. It's been a rough road, I won't lie.

    But I have come to the conclusion that a guy who is a keeper would ultimately be by your side, not put pressure on you to give in to him. A guy who is a keeper would take responsibility for the part he played in you becoming pregnant in the first place. A guy who is a keeper and who genuinely doesn't want children would have a vasectomy to make sure he doesn't put himself in this situation.

    A guy who threatens to leave, withholds affection or makes you fearful for your future together at a point when you are pregnant and vulnerable doesn't know how to work through difficult times and isn't on your team.

    Fortunately for you, you have other support, and even if you didn't, you don't need a guy by your side.

    It's not easy raising a child. It's not easy raising a child as a single mum. But you can do it, if it feels right to you. There are plenty of women here to support you along the way.

    Ultimately I believe that it's your body, your choice. He's made his feelings clear. Now what are yours?
    I'm sorry to hear that it cost u ur marriage, so he actually left u when u got pregnant even though u were married????

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Milz00 View Post
    I'm sorry to hear that it cost u ur marriage, so he actually left u when u got pregnant even though u were married????
    No, we tried to make it work. Actually, I tried.

    But the day we found out, he told me that he would stop loving me if I kept it. That I was lucky he wasn't the kind of guy that would bash me up to induce a miscarriage (apparently that was a joke). That I was dooming him to a life of misery.

    It just got better from there :-)

    Hey, don't get me wrong, some guys turn around once they have their freakout. My ex wasn't that guy. Do you think yours is?

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    No, we tried to make it work. Actually, I tried.

    But the day we found out, he told me that he would stop loving me if I kept it. That I was lucky he wasn't the kind of guy that would bash me up to induce a miscarriage (apparently that was a joke). That I was dooming him to a life of misery.

    It just got better from there :-)

    Hey, don't get me wrong, some guys turn around once they have their freakout. My ex wasn't that guy. Do you think yours is?
    pm u

  8. #27
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    I had a termination when I was 21 and I had only been with my boyfriend (later to be the father of my two kids and my exhusband) for 3 months. I am now 38 and I think about it all the time. I am now 26 weeks pregnant with my partner's first child. He is 32 and didn't want children for some time, but accidents happen and now he is an excited (yet scared) expectant father.

    Don't terminate if you don't want to. If your partner is deadset against this baby, let him walk away. You sound like you have the support of your mum. Being a mum young is no different to being a mum my age. You will do great. I am sorry about your partner. He might come through after he thinks about it abit. A baby doesn't mean the end of your life. I love my kids to bits and can't imagine my life with out them. Do what is best for you.
    Last edited by Marchbundle; 05-12-2015 at 11:41.


 

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