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  1. #281
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    Sent you a pm @bbhope.
    I know it's hard but try not to beat yourself up. Even if you'd read 100 books it wouldn't necessarily make dealing with a fussy baby any easier! I personally don't think anyone really has a handle on this parenting thing. We all just make it up as we go along - cross our fingers and hope whatever we do works and if it does keep doing it! And as long as your child has a roof over their head, a nice warm bed, access to food/water, a clean nappy and parents who love them then they will be ok. Just do the best you can - that's all you can do!

  2. #282
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    @bbhope I read a book. But by the time Bub is here i have forgotten most things plus it is so intense that the books seem too theoretical. Don't beat yourself up. We are all learning as we go. I know it's hard as that's what I've been doing for the last week. Beating myself up everyday. I felt like all I've got so caught up with BF that I have forgotten to enjoy my daughter. A daughter that I've been waiting for years. The last 2 weeks have been intense and you could say mine is so much easier than yours. You are doing your best and it's more than enough for your son. You are doing an amazing job and please don't beat yourself up.

    No book, no advise or no reading will prepare me for this. I also think it's our self expectations. I expected myself to enjoy this but right now honestly I'm struggling a bit and feel like I'm just going through the motion. I have tried harder. Everyday I remind myself of how lucky I am to have her and to really look at her and kiss her. To not worry so much about BF. If it doesn't work out there is formula.

    I have cried almost everyday. Some days I don't even know why. I guess the lack of sleep, the hormone everything add up. Some days I look at her and cried because I feel so much love and how lucky I am to have her in my arms.

    Remember you are an amazing mummy to your son and he doesn't need anything else but you and DH.

    Big hugs xx

  3. #283
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    @Tanej78 good to hear LB has a plan for you. It doesn't sound like she's done with you. I know someone who sees her too and LB told them it's the end of the road and next step is DE. So I think LB still has a few tricks up her sleeve for you.

    I hope you get to enjoy Xmas as much as you can. No drugs. No need to worry about stimming. Eat and drink. Start your diet after Xmas and make it a goal to be fitter before your FET in February.

    Wow wazza is a very busy man. August. That's months away!!

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    Tanej78  (19-12-2015)

  5. #284
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    @Minib: exactly how I felt the first two weeks. I was stressed out about BF. Until I came to peace with formula top up and went with the flow, I was able to enjoy it more. With DS, it turned out the first two weeks was the easiest. He has so much internal issues that we can't help but wait it out. I still have that guilt about giving up BF earlier than I wish to. My original plan was BF until I go back to work at 4m or longer if I can pump for bottle feeding. All my close friends here tough it out and did it up to one year so it makes me feel even worse.
    DS is well fed so no complain here.

    Thanks Besha.

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    @Tanej78 some rest and recovery is sometimes what is best to get your body back to top notch. Those needles and hormones and procedures take a lot out of us. Good that lb understands that and doesn't just keep pushing for back to back. I hope you do get to enjoy the holidays with dh when he's back and do some things that you enjoy. Spoil yourselves you deserve it.


    @bbhope I think we are all the same. I have spent so much effort on bf and labour reading I forgot the part about looking after a baby but to be honest I don't think the books really help. Every baby is different. And reading so many opinions just makes me more stressed. there isn't one right answer.
    How is the sleep training going? What do you do once Bub is ok with rocking to sleep? Can't rock forever! I'm dreading what to do when ds goes into cot because during the day he needs to be rocked to sleep in his bassinet. Night is ok. But he'll be too big for the bassinet soon!
    Ds is different everyday. Yesterday he had 3 X 30-45min naps only and a 2 hr sleep but some days it's 5. Today he's diff again to yesterday. He's sooking again when put in the change table and crying unless we distract him then he forgets to cry and he's ok. He's been a bit fussy on the boob today too and I've not given him a bottle for days so who knows why? So basically it's different everyday! I think he's got a bit of mild diarrhoea from the vaccination. Started 2 days ago.

    @Minib - I was the same so focussed on getting feeding right I didn't even look at ds as a person. Saw him as an object that needed to be soothed and fed and changed. But your hubby is right. Do what's best for your daughter. If you need to top up then do it. Better than dehydration. Did she have clear pees tho? If they are yello or with red in them then it's dehydration. Ds had that the first 2 days out of hospital otherwise she should be ok. Hopefully she's back on track now tho. You are doing a fantastic job keep it up! 😊

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    Tanej78  (19-12-2015)

  8. #286
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    @bbhope don't feel guilty and don't compare yourself to your friends. I know it's easier said than done but we have to stop comparing. Our bodies are different. Just because they can BF much longer doesn't mean you should. The main thing is your son is well fed. I think as mothers we feel guilty no matter what common sense is. Like I know that myself but I have shed lots of tears myself thinking I might not be able to BF my child. I am still BF my child and things aw improving actually. I'm lucky that it is but not everyone can see improvement. It's still hard work though. I question myself sometimes whether I am starving my child. Her pee is yellow colour @Gelati hence my concern of her being dehydrated. She didn't poo for days too which could be another sign. @Gelati could it be the weather? My girl has been quite unsettled today too. I think the heat has got the better of us. More reason to keep hydrated. @bbhope yeah how did the sleep school training help?

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    @Minib - I'm not sure it could be. Bub is sleeping longer during the day now - like 1 hr - 2 hr sessions and waking up twice overnight instead of once. Arghh I hope it's only temporary.

    How is Bub now? I didn't know dehydration causes no poops. That must be why ours didn't poop cos we had a bit of red in ds pee when we first left hospital.

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    She has done 3 poos in the last 24 hours

    Feeding well but seems to want more than last week. I forget she's 2 weeks old. Keep saying she can't be hungry anymore. She loves the boobs so sometimes when I can't decipher what she wants I gave her the boobs. The dummy doesn't do a great job anymore. Sometimes she spits it out other times doesn't really do the magic anymore. The boobs though do! She must be able to smell the milk and me.

    She also sleeps a lot during the day. Like today she woke up at 12.30 pm after a 4 hour nap. I BF her then tried to have some interaction. We 'played' on the mat for an hour including tummy time 30 mins after feed. She had enough after that. Wanted more boobs (that's what I think anyway). BF her then she has been sleeping from 2ish until now. No sign of waking up yet. I'm not complaining but also want to make sure she can sleep at night. She's more alert at night. Last night it took an hour to settle her. Midnight feed then 3 am feed which she hardly had any milk. Too sleepy and I couldn't wake her up enough to have a big feed. By 6.39 am she woke up super grumpy and hungry. Kept wanting more so I gave her some EBM top up. 60ml top up. I was worried I overfeed her but if she has about 6 feeds a day an occasional top up of 60ml should be ok yeah after BF her? Or is that too much? I was trying to limit top up to 30ml but she kept trying to suck her fist and turning head wanting boob still.

    I'm cautious about over feeding because bbhope had so much issues after over feeding her son.

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    Default Day 5 blasto FET on day 4? #3

    Big ups to you all... Sounds like your doing amazing... Xx

    Such a stressful 48hrs... DH rang me Friday night with news he was probably being sent home and made redundant... Bittersweet my heart was bursting, because I miss him so esp at the moment I'm feeling a bit lost... But the head was freaking out... Jobless before Christmas there goes any plans to cycle in Feb if it takes weeks to find new work etc....

    Thing was he only found out because his flight home for Jan3 was changed to tonight... Right up to this morning no official word, to him or others in same situation... Then his flight disappeared all together... So now we wait! So exhausted... My mind has been all over the place... Hopefully tomorrow being Monday we find out more info and something concrete to work with 😬😬

  12. #290
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    Default Day 5 blasto FET on day 4? #3

    Quote Originally Posted by Minib View Post
    She has done 3 poos in the last 24 hours

    Feeding well but seems to want more than last week. I forget she's 2 weeks old. Keep saying she can't be hungry anymore. She loves the boobs so sometimes when I can't decipher what she wants I gave her the boobs. The dummy doesn't do a great job anymore. Sometimes she spits it out other times doesn't really do the magic anymore. The boobs though do! She must be able to smell the milk and me.

    She also sleeps a lot during the day. Like today she woke up at 12.30 pm after a 4 hour nap. I BF her then tried to have some interaction. We 'played' on the mat for an hour including tummy time 30 mins after feed. She had enough after that. Wanted more boobs (that's what I think anyway). BF her then she has been sleeping from 2ish until now. No sign of waking up yet. I'm not complaining but also want to make sure she can sleep at night. She's more alert at night. Last night it took an hour to settle her. Midnight feed then 3 am feed which she hardly had any milk. Too sleepy and I couldn't wake her up enough to have a big feed. By 6.39 am she woke up super grumpy and hungry. Kept wanting more so I gave her some EBM top up. 60ml top up. I was worried I overfeed her but if she has about 6 feeds a day an occasional top up of 60ml should be ok yeah after BF her? Or is that too much? I was trying to limit top up to 30ml but she kept trying to suck her fist and turning head wanting boob still.

    I'm cautious about over feeding because bbhope had so much issues after over feeding her son.
    Don't worry about over feeding. You can't over feed on breastfeeding. Just remember if you offer boob and she fusses and doesn't want it then try settling another way.

    Well done on the poos! Told you it would come out! Might get a bit more regular now you've phased out the formula.

    Ditch that dummy! It's advised by the ABA not to use one in the first six weeks as it interferes with establishing supply and can lead to nipple confusion.

    Next thing you'll want to focus on is phasing out the bottle top ups altogether so you can stop pumping which will make this whole thing easier on you. And also encourage her to work out day vs night. Just try to make her environment clear - day time is lights, stimulation (not too much she's only very little), talking, happy awake voices! Night time is lights low or off, white noise, limit interaction.

    Just bear in mind it can take a while to turn it around. Remember she's spent 9 months on the inside having a particular routine and it takes a while to change. Took my DS about 5-6 weeks to fully work out day vs night. @Tanej78 sorry you're having such a rough trot love. You will get there. Hugs.

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