+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 39
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default Feeling tired of being second best

    Help I'm so upset, So today marks one year since my husband and I were married, it was the best day of my life( besides my sons birth)

    This morning I got up and said happy anniversary and gave him my gift ( tickets to a band we love) it's not that today he forgot it was our anniversary it's the fact he chose not to do anything at all, it makes me feel worthless and unappreciated.

    We have been together for 12 years and things have really changed, I love him like no other but I feel like he is too busy for me, he is a great person and a fantastic daddy but just ****house when it comes to being a good partner, a card or a bunch of flowers, a box of choccies even would not have been hard.

    He throws money around though when it comes to his mates and family spending out on lavish gifts etc, just last week he spent $400 on God knows what at a bucks party, yet he has forgotten my birthday and Mother's Day 2 years running.

    Today I spoke up and told him how I felt, i told him that I can't help my feelings but can't control his actions, I had organised mum to look after our little one earlier in the day in hopes he had planned something....I'm currently at home and he is out with his mates 😢

    Feeling tired of being second best, is this normal am I being unreasonable?
    Last edited by Liz101; 28-11-2015 at 16:50.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    in a wormhole
    Posts
    2,769
    Thanks
    4,600
    Thanked
    2,802
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    No, it's not normal to go out with mates on your anniversary and ignore your wife. Especially first anniversary!! It sounds like he's really not making an effort at all and I'd be very hurt in your position too. You're not being unreasonable - he's being a bit of jerk to be honest. I'm so sorry, you deserve to feel special. Big hugs.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to MissMuppet For This Useful Post:

    Liz101  (28-11-2015)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    1,868
    Thanks
    3,216
    Thanked
    1,513
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    No you aren't being unreasonable. He is being selfish and inconsiderate. Fair enough he forgot, that's a bit careless but forgivable. But to then bugger off with his mates for the day? Rude and disrespectful.

    Sorry this has happened to you. What did he say when you explained your disappointment?

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to MsViking For This Useful Post:

    Liz101  (28-11-2015)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks girls he didn't forget, he actually mentioned it through the week that the year went quick and that we should do something nice without the little one (hence my mum looking after him)
    When I said I felt hurt and unappreciated, He actually imitated my voice and waved his arms around idiotiocally and said "that's how stupid you sound" before leaving.
    I'm just devastated, and embarrassed And so very disappointed

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    2,226
    Thanks
    2,064
    Thanked
    1,926
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Big hugs to you! You're not being unreasonable, he's being a douche. For him to buy lavish gifts for others, but not his own wife, that's just shizzy behaviour. There's no excuse for that.

    It sounds like a pattern of behaviour on his part, is this the first time you've brought it up?

    I wouldn't let it slide that he's gone out tonight without you. I'd be having a very serious discussion about it tomorrow. It's not about not getting you a gift, it's about him not meeting the basic need in a relationship - to let the other person know that they're loved and appreciated in a way that's meaningful to them.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Frankenmum For This Useful Post:

    Liz101  (28-11-2015)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    I'm actually convinced he made plans at the bucks last weekend to do something this weekend with his mates, and needed an out and fighting with me was his plan? I dunno maybe I'm just being silly but seriously so unbelievably hurtful

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    9,898
    Thanks
    3,055
    Thanked
    5,860
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Hugs hon

    He's being a jerk, no question.

    Can you still take your mum up on the babysitting? It might be good to do your own thing, like see a movie or visit a friend?

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Mod-Degrassi For This Useful Post:

    Liz101  (28-11-2015)

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    1,054
    Thanks
    458
    Thanked
    433
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    How awful for you! That's really poor behaviour on his part!

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to PipersMummy For This Useful Post:

    Liz101  (28-11-2015)

  14. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    2,226
    Thanks
    2,064
    Thanked
    1,926
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Liz101 View Post
    When I said I felt hurt and unappreciated, He actually imitated my voice and waved his arms around idiotiocally and said "that's how stupid you sound" before leaving.
    I'm just devastated, and embarrassed And so very disappointed
    That is just disgusting, immature and unacceptable behaviour! Does he act like that often?

  15. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Frankenmum For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-11-2015),Nemmi1987  (28-11-2015),TheGooch  (28-11-2015)

  16. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    Hugs hon

    He's being a jerk, no question.

    Can you still take your mum up on the babysitting? It might be good to do your own thing, like see a movie or visit a friend?
    Oh Thankyou
    She did take him this morning as planned due to arrive back @8 and I've been bawling my eyes out since midday how embarrassing


 

Similar Threads

  1. Angry, irritable and tired @34weeks
    By frayzlilso in forum Third Trimester Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-02-2015, 20:19
  2. Tired of not being taken seriously as BubbleK ...
    By Mod-RaryGirl in forum Games & fun stuff
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 14-01-2015, 20:59
  3. Helppp!! Tired mum here.
    By bron196 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 16-12-2014, 19:18

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Softmats
With so many amazing reversible designs, the soft and cushioned Premium Bubba Mats are the perfect space for all the family. Not only do they look fantastic; you can also enjoy the quality and comfort for years to come.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
L'il Aussie Prems Foundation
An Australian charity supporting families of premature babies & children. The charity assists families who are at high risk of giving birth prematurely, who have babies currently in hospital and families with toddlers who were born too soon.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!