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  1. #1
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    Default Hair length and gender

    Please someone tell me when kids grow out of defining someone's gender by whether they have long or short hair?

    Ds is 4.5 and is pretty stuck on the idea that everyone with long hair is a girl. We have a friend who's sons all have long hair.

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    Anyone? Surely my boy is not the only child to define boys as having short hair and girls as having long hair?

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    Of course not. My son had long hair until he was 3 and was often mistaken for a girl.

    It never really bothered me TBH. I have no specific recollection of when my kids stopped making that assumption. I just keep the conversations going with all of my kids (at least my 4, 6 and 10 year olds) that you can't judge anyone based on appearances. My 10 and 6 year olds get it. My son who is 4 doesn't seem to assume anything.

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    My DS is not quite 3 so don't have this issue.

    I think like everything people are influenced by outside sources - and they pick up random things.

    Most shows/cartoons have long hair=girl and short hair=boy. Even adults have assumptions about hair length and gender.

    Just keep telling him that hair isn't what makes them a boy/girl - he'll grow out of it.

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    I'd just give examples of "but X is a boy and he has long hair" etc. Can add in celebrities etc. if you don't know many other long-haired males.

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    My DSS grew out of this when he was about 5.

    I recall my long haired nephew running around one day with no nappy and DSS still called him 'she' although it was plain to see that he was indeed a 'he' 🙄

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    I don't recall either kid doing this...
    DSS does say he doesn't like short hair on boys, I asked him why and he said because it doesn't suit them- he's not being general though as he gives specific names, and will say Xgirl doesn't suit her long hair either.

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    Default Hair length and gender

    Not sure. Plenty of adults still think short hair is for boys and long hair is for girls.

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    I love longer hair on boys but unfortunately my DH and my mum (and MIL) think boys should have short hair, they tell him that and make it known to me when they think he needs a haircut. Actually mum just cuts it now without asking (she is a hairdresser) like it's her right as a grandparent. So my son doesn't really stand a chance, it's been drilled into him from a young age! It's a shame because he gets lovely curls when it's left longer.

    He was playing with a young boy at a party on the wknd who had longish curly hair and he was convinced he was a she. Can not argue with a 4 yo 😁

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    Just think of all the learning that goes in to 'knowing' about the world. It must be hard to grasp the concept of 'girl' and 'boy' at such a young age,so if a child notices that most people they come across with short hair are boys, they make that connection in their mind that short hair = boy, until they can gradually learn otherwise. I just say things like 'you see a lot of boys with short hair, but boys can have long hair too', etc. My DD has very short hair (still growing) & most adults assumed she was a boy until about 3yo. I could say that the adults should know she was a girl because she is wearing a pink dress,but then how is assuming a gender based on their clothes any different to assuming a gender based on hair length? I guess either way, society makes a lot of gender-based assumptions, so we just have to gradually teach them to our children & they pick it up bit by bit in their own time.


 

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