+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 32
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    859
    Thanks
    949
    Thanked
    605
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Loved this show! It's an adaptation of Tolstoys Anna Karenina.
    Ah, that probably explains why I disliked this show. I really didn't enjoy Anna Karenina either - she wasn't a "heroine" I felt I could relate to. She just seemed to compound stupidity upon stupidity. And while not everything that happened to her was her own fault, I just didn't feel much empathy for her.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Haven't read any replies. There may be more to the situation that isn't yet obvious yet/will become more obvious as the season progresses over why the mum just hasn't left her husband... Yet.

    I doubt it would purely be a case of the woman hasn't thought about her child at all. Maybe she thinks the child won't be affected as the child won't find out. Maybe she has suffered over the years and the point of it all boiling over has been reached so she's just letting rip. Maybe there are real big problems in the marriage and she's secretly hoping they will be fixed. Maybe she knows deep in her heart the marriage is over yet she doesn't want to hurt her child or husband so hasn't found a way to yell them.

    I'm not saying the below two situations are comparable - by any means. I'm only trying to highlight a point that it's not always that simple and it doesn't necessarily mean a woman doesn't lover her kids or want what is best for them.
    - I have little tolerance for situations where women stay in abusive relationships when there are kids involved. On BH there's always at least one member who points out it's not always 'that' easy for a woman who has suffered over the years and be beaten down to just leave. I wholeheartedly agree a woman staying doesn't mean she doesn't love her kids or doesn't want I be a good mum. Women are more than what is between our legs - we have brains, feelings and can be heavily influenced by external factors. Hope this makes sense and doesn't offend anyone.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by JustJaq View Post
    I haven't seen this, but maybe it should come with a big SPOILER ALERT?
    The initial post mentioned the show in the first para - people can chose to stop reading after that?

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (25-11-2015)

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by moosey View Post
    . The show in particular, makes it out that this woman has no real emotion to the affect on the child. I wasn't sure if this was a true representation of how women/mothers felt.
    .
    Maybe it's just ****ty script writing?

  6. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    1,868
    Thanks
    3,216
    Thanked
    1,513
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    I'll state upfront that I was a cheating mother (one time only), and I'm not going to go into that because it's not relevant. Except to say that my experience there is probably what has caused a strong and emotional reaction to your OP.

    Here is my opinion, fwiw.

    We are not just 'mothers', we are *women* too, and we are not always mothers to the exclusion of that.

    Mothers, women, fathers, men can all cheat. There is no one universal reason, as I'm sure you would know.

    We hear about man caves, men's nights out, as a societal acknowledgement of the fact that men aren't just 'fathers', nor are they generally expected to be. Why is it that women are held to different standards of behaviour?

    *All* cheating can and might affect the whole family. Lots of people would say what I did was wrong or reprehensible, and that's cool. I was one of those women who believed it could never ever happen in my marriage. But I really struggle with the idea of my being a mother outweighing my humanity as a woman.

    Just to clarify, did you mean that you feel that women *would* be more maternal or that they *should*? Because to answer your question, I think that it probably depends on the individual and the circumstances.
    I love you @harvs.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to MsViking For This Useful Post:

    harvs  (25-11-2015)

  8. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    1,868
    Thanks
    3,216
    Thanked
    1,513
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I haven't seen this show yet but it's on my radar (but not worried about spoilers).

    Completely different series but I've been watching The Affair (pretty self explanatory) - about two people who have an affair thus destroying both their marriages and causing a tsunami-line ripple effect throughout their social networks and community. The impact is absolutely devastating and keeps on going. At first you start to dislike the man. Then the woman. Then their exes. Then the kids. To the point where you end up not really liking any of the characters but at the same time sort of empathising with each of them as you get to know them. It's also produced so that you see from multiple characters viewpoints what is happening. It's a bit confusing at times but what I like is the fact that a story is never black/white and everyone will have their own take on things. One person might appear cold then in the next scene you find out that something else happened for them that day that affected their behaviour.

    Coming back to the original question, I think in some cases an affair is a way of escape, rather than following ones heart. So while it might seem the person doing it doesnt care about the impacts, actually it's that they're switched off to the potential fallout altogether.

  9. #27
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,474
    Thanks
    630
    Thanked
    795
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by JustJaq View Post
    I haven't seen this, but maybe it should come with a big SPOILER ALERT?
    It's actually the whole premise of the show, it's in the initial trailer. It's also based on a classic novel. I don't think I've spoilt anything.

  10. #28
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    1,179
    Thanks
    1,414
    Thanked
    748
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by moosey View Post
    It's actually the whole premise of the show, it's in the initial trailer. It's also based on a classic novel. I don't think I've spoilt anything.
    No worries, thank you. I was just suggesting for the benefit of others, I'm not familiar with it myself. As you were ☺

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to JustJaq For This Useful Post:

    moosey  (25-11-2015)

  12. #29
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    3,963
    Thanks
    706
    Thanked
    2,302
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    We are not just 'mothers', we are *women* too, and we are not always mothers to the exclusion of that.
    ^^this.

    I forget that I am not only a mother - I am always so busy thinking how I can do better as a mother, a wife - but I am also a woman.

    There can be a thousand reasons for cheating - and no it's not ok but maybe losing our identity of what we were before kids, the serious relationship/marriage can affect us more than we think.

    Men tend to have the excuse of 'I lost who I was after marriage/kids' or similar - we have come to accept that but why is it harder for us to accept that excuse when it comes to a woman? (This is something *I* struggle with too). This probably did not come out right. I am struggling to come up with the right words/feelings from the jumble in my head.

  13. #30
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,283
    Thanks
    676
    Thanked
    660
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I don't watch the show but I doubt women have different reasons why they cheat.

    Personally, I completely get it. I slept with a lot of people before I met DH and I enjoyed most of those trysts. I can completely separate sex from emotion and I possibly enjoy sleeping with new people more than sleeping with a partner.

    I would never cheat because DH is wonderful and I could never hurt him like that, but I do have a lot of little crushes that I would love to act on.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 23
    Last Post: 29-09-2015, 06:47
  2. Any women joined ADF AFTER kids?
    By SandGroper in forum Parents in the Armed Forces
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 16-08-2015, 13:30

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Einsteinz Music
Make music at Einsteinz Music in age-appropriate class in Sydney's Inner West, Eastern Suburbs or North Shore. For ages 6 mths - 4 yrs. All music is live! Christmas Gift certificates available for full term or casual classes. Call 0431 338 143
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Life Fertility
Life Fertility Clinic is a boutique fertility clinic located in Spring Hill, Brisbane. Our dedicated fertility and IVF specialists offer professional, holistic, personalised options for the treatment of each patient’s specific needs.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!