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  1. #1
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    Default Anxiety over birth options

    Hey all,
    I'm 24+2 with my first. I'm trying to wrap my head around my different birth options, but finding it all so overwhelming.
    I tried to bring DP into the conversation to get some support and a sounding board, get his impressions etc, but our discussions keep ending in an argument. The last thing he said was it's up to me and I need to work out what I want and what I'm comfortable with. He's been through a traumatic preterm birth with his ex, and I don't know if he wants to be part of this experience.
    I moved to Perth from my hometown of Brisbane 2 years ago, and don't have any friends or family here that I can just talk with. Working full time and with the time difference, I don't get a chance to just call up my friends and family. I feel like I don't even know what to ask my midwife at my next appointment I'm that clueless.
    It's all making me rather anxious and alone.

    How did everyone make their decisions ?

    Any experiences would be appreciated.
    Thanks

  2. #2
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    I just went with the flow.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to GlitterFarts For This Useful Post:

    DT75  (27-11-2015)

  4. #3
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    I wanted a natural birth so I researched care providers and interviewed 5 OBs. I settled on one that was confident in twins, breech, VBACs, complicated births and had a low ECS rate.

    Then I researched about optimal positioning for birth and tried to follow the recommended exercises. I was also fit and active, with my last birth 7wks ago I was at the gym exercising till 40+1 and body pump was my last class.

    Some things you have zero control over..... Other things you can somewhat change to increase your body's ability to birth naturally.

    Do what you want to do as safely as possible.

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    AdornedWithCats  (24-11-2015)

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    Send your friends and family an email with your questions.

  7. #5
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    I'd just jump on this forum and try to find a pregnant ladies group to join in your home town, men sometimes just don't get it... this forum saved my sanity many times during my mummy journey

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    Julzgulz  (24-11-2015)

  9. #6
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    I completely understand how you're feeling right now. I was a mess with my first. It all seemed so overwhelming.

    Would it help if I gave you a list of things to think about and research? That way you can write a list of questions to discuss with your mid.

    I tried to PM you but you don't have enough posts yet. When you do I am happy to be a sounding board for you. I was very fortunate to have a lovely bubhubber do the same for me and it made all the difference.

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    Julzgulz  (24-11-2015)

  11. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Send your friends and family an email with your questions.
    Completely off topic but I only just noticed your username has changed (haven't been around as much lately). CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your new bubba!!!

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (24-11-2015)

  13. #8
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    Can you go to an antenatal class together?

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    Thanks everyone,
    Ciaomamma: I will see if there is a pregnancy group I can join. I like that idea.
    Once upon a time: I'd appreciate anything you found helpful. I feel like I don't know what I don't know. And when I start thinking about it all I get so muddled. I tried looking up birth plans but even questions like 'I want/don't want foetal monitoring' I feel I need to research.
    Meredith Grey: It all started when my chiro mentioned birth centres, which I'd never heard of. My GP only told me I was in a certain district and unless I went private I had no choice on where to have my baby. I then realised when looking at their model of care that there are so many aspects that differ like positions, active labour, monitoring, pain relief and decisions I had to make like having an OB, if there are complications, how long I can spend there, how many visitors I want etc.

  15. #10
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    Try not to get to stressed about it. Whilst choosing where to birth your baby will impact certain aspects of care etc, at the end of the day it's largely up to your bub what kind of birth you will have! Do a little research but try not to get overwhelmed by all the options and what-if's. Stay healthy, ask lots of questions, don't do anything your not comfortable with - get second opinions where necessary. At the end if the day the birth is just one small part of a much bigger picture and journey, how your baby arrives into the world is not the be all and end all.
    You might find your partner will become more supportive later on in the pregnancy, it can take a bit longer for guys to be ready to think about all that stuff, especially if he has been through a traumatic experience beforehand. As others have said, find a group of women to talk to in the meantime, weigh up your options pros & cons and approach the topic gently with your DP when the timing is right. He will most likely go along with whatever your wishes are, good luck 😊


 

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