I am barely treading water with DS at the moment. He's a typical 3 year old I guess and I feel I just have no leverage with him. His favourite word is no, he often purposely does whatever I ask him not to, and when he doesn't get what he wants he is violent towards me.
After my heinous supermarket experience this morning, and being rougher than I needed to about half an hour ago, I need some advice.
I feel like if I could relax about some of the things he's doing then maybe we wouldn't have so many battles during the day. It's just hard to know which things I should let go.
So, for example, today:
Asked me for a car in the supermarket. I said no, not today, and he carried on and hit me lots. So I put the Christmas decoration he had picked out for the tree back on the shelf and said he couldn't have it because he hurt mummy. I feel like that was something worth following through. But the result of that was hell.
Pulled the decorations off the tree when I asked him to stop. I got mad because he didn't listen. But maybe if I could have relaxed and thought 'hey, he's 3 and a three year old is going to pull the damn decorations off the damn tree!' then it wouldn't have turned into a battle of the wills. Because once I've asked him something and he does the opposite then I feel like I have to follow through, but the only thing I have really is taking toys away. If I hadn't asked him to stop the worst case scenario is him helping me to put them back.
He took all the rubbish out of the rubbish bag (to feed the fish) and wouldn't stop when I asked. So I took it off him and made him clean up after himself. He hit me very very hard so I put him in his crib and left the room for three minutes. He got hysterical in that time. I told him he can't be around people if he is going to hurt them. I feel like I escalated that scenario because I have so little tether for him ATM.
So, I've been sitting here trying to work out a little list of things I can let go (ie running away when it's nappy change even though it's so annoying) and...well, I need advice. Because it just all feels important to me and I think I need to chill out.
Thanks and sorry for the essay.