About 18 months ago, my SIL had a stillborn baby. It was really traumatic for her, and she is slowly getting over it. I have never experienced stillbirth or miscarriage so can't say I fully understand how she feels. But I do know that it's important to her to keep the memory of the baby alive. So for example, she had a commemorative candle burning at Christmas, she has a toy in all the family photos to represent the baby and at the one year anniversary, she had the whole extended family go away for the weekend to commemorate what would have been his first birthday.
SO....this year, at Christmas time, there is a service that she wants to go to for parents of kids who have passed away. Like with the weekend away, she wants the whole extended family to go. I want to support her, but my DD is 4.5, and it's getting to the point where I'm uncomfortable getting her involved in an event which is all about death and sadness. She sort of understands death, but does get a bit anxious about it, and I do have to reassure her form time to time that mummy and daddy are not going to die any time soon. How can I support my SIL without worrying my 4 year old? Can I say no to this church service, or is that just too harsh? I'm in a bit or a quandry, and would love to know what others would do in this situation!