+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 9 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 81
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Penrith
    Posts
    349
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked
    83
    Reviews
    0
    Im a clean freak .. I dust, vacuum, mop, wash (all before 9am )and iron every single day... I have dinner prepared and cook once dp gets home ..

    The 4 older Kids shower before dinner .. dp will sometimes wash their dinner plates while I bath our 2 yr old .but he always helps wash up after our dinner. ..

    I wash at night too and he always offers to help peg out the washing ..

    On weekends he often offers to help me do the house work or he will cook dinner .. which is nice

    We work well together and if he didn't want to help after work than I dont mind ..

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    2,936
    Thanks
    1,741
    Thanked
    1,273
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    Why do you hate the sahm is 24/7 argument? It probably depends on your kids, house, support vs what type of job you do. Personally I have never found any job ever came close to being as hard as being a sahm to 3 kids in high maintenance house. Full time job + part time masters degree feels like a holiday!!
    I agree!

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    The Kimberley WA
    Posts
    4,622
    Thanks
    916
    Thanked
    1,180
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    If I come home after an afternoon shift and hubby hasn't gotten around to cleaning up after dinner and hasn't got the kids to clear away their stuff I leave him to it...because yes he worked and then came home and took care of kids after work, but I did kid duty and house duties before going to work so the evening stuff is his. Cleaning up after work when someone else has been home is the last thing I want to do....
    However, your husband is not treating you with respect, and that needs to be adressed before you work on the division of chores. If he wants you to stay home and home school then he needs to be prepared to be the bread winner and respect what you do each day.
    On a side note....I hate the whole 'their job ends after x amount of hours but my job as a sahm is 24/7' argument and I would avoid using it in your discussion....even though he isn't doing anything at home at the moment. I know when I was a SAHM it was much easier than what DH was doing at work each day.
    I agree re the SAHM arguement.
    Staying at home with kids wasn't difficult for me at all although had the boys been closer in age it may have been different. I never expected hubby to take over after he had been at work all day either. I find working filltime and studying harder. With dh and I both working we divide the chores at home evenly. You have to have a balance, communicate and work together.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    17,747
    Thanks
    5,085
    Thanked
    8,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedwith3boys View Post
    You have to have a balance, communicate and work together.
    I also believe this is key - whether both partners work outside the house full time, one part time and one full time or one full time and one not at all.

    OP, I hope you and your partner can find a way to work together so that you both feel valued and feel like you have your needs met.

    FWIW, my DH works extraordinarily hard with hours you can't even imagine but will say honestly to anyone that being a SAHP is WAY harder!

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    390
    Thanks
    686
    Thanked
    239
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    I guess everyone's circumstances are just different. I'm finding being a SAHP (with one child) a breeze compared to working (in a highly stressful job).
    At the moment I'm doing 8 hour days in childcare, picking my kids up and doing the mum thing, putting my kids to bed then doing the house work and study thing.

    I find it a lot easier mentally as sahp ing drains me, emotionally its harder

    Different strokes for different folks, my two are 5.5 & 2 and full on, even hanging out a load of washing can mean chaos
    And theyre just very full on personalitied children

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Nemmi1987 For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard  (23-11-2015),gingermillie  (22-11-2015)

  7. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    2,291
    Thanks
    2,374
    Thanked
    1,931
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Nemmi1987 View Post
    At the moment I'm doing 8 hour days in childcare, picking my kids up and doing the mum thing.

    I find it a lot easier mentally as sahp ing drains me, emotionally its harder

    Different strokes for different folks, my two are 5.5 & 2 and full on, even hanging out a load of washing can mean chaos
    And theyre just very full on personalitied children
    I really agree! I have an almost 5 month old daughter and came from a high pressure-high responsibility job with looooong hours. I found working way easier than this, on a whole different level. I love her more than I thought possible but I find being being a SAHM mentally and physically exhausting every single day (so far, maybe it gets easier). Maybe it's to do with the type of kids you've got or maybe I'm just not cut out for this I don't know.
    Anyway OP no I don't think just because you're home you have to do everything housework-wise and absolutely he should be spending time with the kids doing fun things and the other stuff too. He should do that because he wants to. He is equally their parent.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to gingermillie For This Useful Post:

    Nemmi1987  (22-11-2015),SoThisIsLove  (23-11-2015)

  9. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    977
    Thanks
    546
    Thanked
    344
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    In general I've always tried to do as much of the house stuff during the day while dp is working. But I think it's pretty weird idea to come home from work and expect to just relax and do nothing while your partner tends to dinner, kids, overflow of housework from the day. When my inlaws are here mil takes over housework (I've given up protesting!) but fil eats dinner and gets up and never puts away as much as a plate. He's like that in his own house. I dunno I just find it weird. My dp will clear dishes while I bath kids but it's half arsed he doesn't wipe down counters and stuff. But when our first was a baby and I was on maternity leave he did loads! He used to make dinner for us and do washing. I must admit I probably want a tidier house now cus with 3 kids coping with school notes and all that can't just let it all go but this long winded reply is just a warning that I feel a lot of our issues (we could be on verge of breaking up) has to do with this unplanned and unwanted role definitions - me inside house and kids, him earn money and outside. Our lives have separated more and more as time goes on and much of it relates to resentment of these defined roles. In his case he has zero interest in discussing any household challenges I face, just gets irritated with me when I try and chat about it. Im fed up of feeling like the house skivvy and nothing else. Try and sort out these issues before these expectations become set in stone

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Freyamum For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats  (23-11-2015)

  11. #28
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,061
    Thanks
    2,314
    Thanked
    1,392
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    I really agree! I have an almost 5 month old daughter and came from a high pressure-high responsibility job with looooong hours. I found working way easier than this, on a whole different level. I love her more than I thought possible but I find being being a SAHM mentally and physically exhausting every single day (so far, maybe it gets easier). Maybe it's to do with the type of kids you've got or maybe I'm just not cut out for this I don't know.
    Anyway OP no I don't think just because you're home you have to do everything housework-wise and absolutely he should be spending time with the kids doing fun things and the other stuff too. He should do that because he wants to. He is equally their parent.
    You were probably super, super good at your job and the parenting thing is just all new. I recall you mentioning on another thread that your daughter had reflux, that would be very tiring and challenging to deal with.

  12. #29
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,845
    Thanks
    1,822
    Thanked
    1,423
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Your husband is an *** and is so far away from being right, he can't even see it.

  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DT75 For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (23-11-2015),Jenga  (23-11-2015)

  14. #30
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,654
    Thanks
    15,094
    Thanked
    11,267
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    Just adding to sahp being hard /easy.
    It can be both. Sometimes it a freaking breeze and other times it the hardest thing on freaking earth.
    Please don't judge another mums journey based on yours. No one journey is like another. For heavens sake each child within a family is different. The pressure a family is under is different the environment are different. Family/friends support. Being isolated etc..

    By telling another person being a sahp is easy is the same as putting them down as a failure if they are struggling.

    If you found it easy great. That's wonderful for you. But don't put others down by saying its easy for everyone.

  15. The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (23-11-2015),ArthurDent  (23-11-2015),BornToBe  (23-11-2015),delirium  (23-11-2015),DT75  (23-11-2015),gingermillie  (23-11-2015),Lillynix  (23-11-2015),MillieMollyMandy  (23-11-2015),misskittyfantastico  (23-11-2015),Nemmi1987  (24-11-2015),Renn  (23-11-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (23-11-2015)


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Mother and Baby Shop
Save $$$ during our Christmas Sale Mother and Baby Shop
Great prices on Schoenhut kids pianos, toys, baby clothing as well as big brands like Pigeon, NUK, Cherub Baby and many more. Sale starts on 1 November 2016 and ends on the 27 December 2016. Hurry! Place your order today!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Philips AVENT Australia
Pregnancy and early parenthood is an exciting and challenging time, but it’s good to know there is expert advice on hand to ensure that your baby gets the best start in life.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!