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  1. #11
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    I have a boy and a girl.
    I must admit that I felt a slight twinge of disappointment when I was told I'd had a boy, I hadn't found out the sex and I think (being so young at the time, too) I'd possibly envisioned having a little mini me, a little girl I could bond with and make my bestie. Having a male seemed somewhat foreign to me. I was a girl, it made sense I'd have a girl! Girls know girls, if that makes sense. And when we're growing up playing with dolls, they're always baby girls in cute dresses etc. It seemed natural to want and expect a girl.
    I wouldn't be telling you anything you don't already know, having two boys of your own already, but that twinge of disappointment lasted all of one minute. A baby is a baby and the love is unstoppable. He's now almost 16 and absolutely without a doubt my best friend. Raising my boy was natural, I couldn't ever imagine having a girl. And then I found out that indeed I was! Finding out I was pregnant for the second time, I was scared of having a girl; it was daunting, a whole other level. Or so I thought. I recall feeling guilty when the sonographer said girl, because I felt numb at first. What did I know about raising a girl?!
    But as we all know, regardless of the sex, the maternal love is exactly the same.
    PS - I personally think boys are so much easier! My DS was a dream (in fact he still is, I'm very lucky with him) but my little DD is a force to be reckoned with 😉
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 20-11-2015 at 22:45.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMetal View Post
    ! i think it just the mother-daughter bond that I long for. I was never close to my mum growing up so maybe that's why...
    It's funny how we each think differently. I thank duck for my two boys because I don't want to have a chance in heck of repeating the ****house relationship I had with my mum.

    The more I think about it (and the older I get) the more I am stoked that I don't have to put up with some if the materialistic/gender superficial challenges that come with raising a girl.

    I think my point is that there are bloody strong pros and cons regardless of which side if the gender fence you sit on. Just let me know which type you want to hear and I will crank out some corkers to make you feel better.

  3. #13
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    I've always thought that gender disappointment isn't about the babies you have but the potential babies you lost. And it's real and it hurts.
    I remember with my third that I thought he'd be a girl because I wanted one to make up for how badly I'd parented my first girl but he wasn't and I LOVE him to bits.
    I can't say what's easier because I think they're people and not genders.

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to misskittyfantastico For This Useful Post:

    HearMeRoar  (21-11-2015),VicPark  (21-11-2015),~Marigold~  (20-11-2015)

  5. #14
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I've always thought that gender disappointment isn't about the babies you have but the potential babies you lost. And it's real and it hurts.
    I remember with my third that I thought he'd be a girl because I wanted one to make up for how badly I'd parented my first girl but he wasn't and I LOVE him to bits.
    I can't say what's easier because I think they're people and not genders.
    I love this! You've hit the nail on the head perfectly. It's not about being disappointed with there baby you have, but almost grief for the baby you imagined might be. But, you said it much better 😜

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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Marigold~ View Post
    I love this! You've hit the nail on the head perfectly. It's not about being disappointed with there baby you have, but almost grief for the baby you imagined might be. But, you said it much better
    You say it perfectly - it is a grief. I grieved for my Daisy and my Clementine but I love the cr@p out of my Hamish and Clancy.

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  9. #16
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Imagine your 3 sons all grown up. 3 brothers, all great mates. Doesn't it look awesome?!?

    What you are feeling is completely normal so please don't feel guilty about it. One day your sons may give you beautiful daughter in laws and a whole heap of granddaughters. Xxx

  11. #18
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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I've always thought that gender disappointment isn't about the babies you have but the potential babies you lost. And it's real and it hurts.
    I remember with my third that I thought he'd be a girl because I wanted one to make up for how badly I'd parented my first girl but he wasn't and I LOVE him to bits.
    I can't say what's easier because I think they're people and not genders.
    agreed 100% :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I can't say what's easier because I think they're people and not genders.
    I love this. I am not a fan of making generalisations about which gender is harder or easier as it seems unfair to me.

    I grieved for a while when I discovered my last was a she and not a he. I had 2 girls and a boy and wanted my son to have a brother and not be lost in a sea of girls. But I love now that he's my only boy and we all share an incredibly special bond with him because of that.

    I think there are many who have empathy x


 

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