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  1. #1
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    Default boy number 3... upset I will never get a girl

    I have just found out I'm expecting boy number 3, I can't help but be saddened at the fact I will never get a daughter
    I know I will love this baby regardless of what's between its legs but I just really long for a daughter... This is definitely my last baby as this pregnancy was very much a surprise, as I was happy with just two. Something inside me said this baby had to be a girl and that it was meant to be... wishful thinking...
    id love to hear from others who have been in my situation (or the opposite) and to give me some pros on having all boys, it might help me feel better...
    TIA

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    I have 3 boys and freely admit I had to find out the gender so I could have a few months to process it. I love my boys, but there will always be a part of me that wonders what I am missing out on.

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    wow Amyd - that is the exact reason I have found out with each of mine too... each pregnancy I have wished for a girl.

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    I am 29 weeks pregnant with boy number 3.

    I thought that I really wanted a girl. I thought I'd be secretly upset. I was quite upset when we found out DS2 was a he.

    We ended up having an amnio as we were high risk for trisomy 21 and finding out it was another boy at ~16 weeks.

    I was over the moon!! Not only was he healthy but I also realised I was so happy to be the mum of 3 boys.

    Cheap, all the same likes, plus mine are all within 3 years so they really will hopefully like all the same stuff.

    At least for a few years we can pick 1 sport and all 3 should hopefully like it.

    I know boys!!! Teenage girls TERRIFY me! I'm so grateful I won't need to deal with my own.

    I was truly surprised but I got my head around it pretty fast and I am so glad, but I wasn't expecting that, and I think it's normal to have some feelings of what could have been and wonderings.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to shani2 For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (20-11-2015),GrabbyCrabby  (21-11-2015)

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMetal View Post
    wow Amyd - that is the exact reason I have found out with each of mine too... each pregnancy I have wished for a girl.
    Before kids I would have chosen girls if I'd had the choice! Now the idea of 3 girls just makes me want to spew

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMetal View Post
    wow Amyd - that is the exact reason I have found out with each of mine too... each pregnancy I have wished for a girl.
    I only ever wanted boys, until I had 2 and started thinking about what I was missing. All my friends ask when we're going back for number 4 because they know I wanted a girl.

  8. #7
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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    Default boy number 3... upset I will never get a girl

    I have 3 girls and a boy

    when I gave birth to dd3 I spent a few minutes thinking no no no no I was meant to have a boy 😁 but all those feelings went away pretty quickly once held her and saw her and got to know her :-)

    when I gave birth to ds i didn't believe anyone in the birth suite saying it was a he

    my whole pregnancy I planned a girl and kind of grieved the not having a son.
    I think it's only natural in wanting to have daughters and sons :-)
    so feel any emotions you need to, to help the process feel mad sad hurt ect and don't let anyone make you feel like you are being ungrateful or a bad mum for doing so
    Last edited by bunkx; 20-11-2015 at 21:42.

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    Thanks for your reply shani2,
    I know what you mean - all I know is boys too lol! so I know it will be easier in that sense. I do think teenage boys will be easier than teenage girls too, so I guess that's a bonus! i think it just the mother-daughter bond that I long for. I was never close to my mum growing up so maybe that's why...

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    Quote Originally Posted by bunkx View Post
    I have 3 girls and a boy

    when I gave birth to dd3 I spent a few minutes thinking no no no no I was meant to have a boy ������ but all those feelings went away pretty quickly once held her and saw her and got to know her :-)

    when I gave birth to ds i didn't believe anyone in the birth suite saying it was a he

    my whole pregnancy I planned a girl and kind of grieved the not having a son.
    I think it's only natural in wanting to have daughters and sons :-)
    so feel any emotions you need to, to help the process feel mad sad hurt ect and don't let anyone make you feel like you are being ungrateful or a bad mum for doing so
    thankyou very much for that, it's nice to read such supportive words

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    I've got 2 boys, and that is it for us- we're done. When I found out DS1 was a boy, I was disappointed, and when I found out DS2 was a boy, I was even more so.

    Both times, I've eventually come around to the idea and I absolutely love my two little guys and wouldn't trade them. But I think it's nonetheless natural to feel some grief over the experiences you won't have with the daughter you wanted.

    On the plus side, there are some real positives to only having boys. Watching the Four Corners doco about teenagers last week, I was overwhelmingly relieved to have boys, because teenage girls are seriously messed up!

    I also hope that my little guys will be great friends for life. I know that as much as al my siblings get along, my brother still felt a tiny bit left out being the only boy of four children. So, having all boys is a positive in that regard, too.

    Hugs to you. I understand how you're feeling! Don't feel ashamed or guilty, because it's a perfectly normal reaction to have. And as you already know deep down, when DS3 comes along you'll love him just as fiercely as you would a daughter.
    Last edited by Gentoo; 20-11-2015 at 22:14.


 

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