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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Don't overthink it but just try to avoid using that word even just a little, even just when talking to yourself.

    For me, when I was constantly thinking to myself "I need some help, I just need more help" it was adding to my feelings that I was failing as a mum. Now I think "I just need DH to do xyz" or I think "the KIDS need DH to help with xyz" and this makes me feel like I am doing ok. I am just managing the normal struggles of parenting and co-parenting. I don't need help, I am just working in a partnership. It has really helped me. Good luck. X

  2. #42
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    100 Posts in a week
    My husband is also useless.
    I have adopted a tough love approach and I really really hate that I have to do it, but I just can't cope otherwise.

    I work up to 30 hours a week out of the house, plus up to 15 at home. I am 100% in charge of household stuff, including running around after the kids and coordinating with their mum. I am also 25 weeks pregnant.

    I used to say, "honey can you please do the dishes tonight while I shower the kids and sort their lunch and uniforms". I'd get grumbled at.

    So now he comes home, I give him a list and he can't do ANYTHING else until his list is done. It causes arguments- "you are making me help too much" "I am not making you help, I am asking you to co-parent and share responsibility", grumble grumble.
    I just walk away.

    I have 2 step kids and a kid on the way. He is NOT my child and I will not tiptoe around him.

    If he doesn't do his share, I unplug foxtel and switch off the internet.

    It drives me nuts, but I have tried everything else including counselling.

    I once left for an entire weekend, came back and the house was a tip. He was like "I don't know what you complain about, it was easy". I then pointed out all the stuff that wasn't done that usually would be- incl the kids lunch and uniforms...

    I don't know if it's just laziness (he is lazy) or if he genuinely does not see it. Because if I go a few days without doing something, he doesn't really notice... but when he does notice all hell breaks loose.

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    ^^^ love this.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to lilypily For This Useful Post:

    DT75  (20-11-2015)

  5. #44
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Sounds like mine I work full time and am pregnant with #5....I don't think it's even possible for him to spend more time on the lounge than he does. He carries on like a child if I say anything about it... It's driving me insane. Sorry I'm not more helpful, but you are not alone!


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