My husband is also useless.
I have adopted a tough love approach and I really really hate that I have to do it, but I just can't cope otherwise.
I work up to 30 hours a week out of the house, plus up to 15 at home. I am 100% in charge of household stuff, including running around after the kids and coordinating with their mum. I am also 25 weeks pregnant.
I used to say, "honey can you please do the dishes tonight while I shower the kids and sort their lunch and uniforms". I'd get grumbled at.
So now he comes home, I give him a list and he can't do ANYTHING else until his list is done. It causes arguments- "you are making me help too much" "I am not making you help, I am asking you to co-parent and share responsibility", grumble grumble.
I just walk away.
I have 2 step kids and a kid on the way. He is NOT my child and I will not tiptoe around him.
If he doesn't do his share, I unplug foxtel and switch off the internet.
It drives me nuts, but I have tried everything else including counselling.
I once left for an entire weekend, came back and the house was a tip. He was like "I don't know what you complain about, it was easy". I then pointed out all the stuff that wasn't done that usually would be- incl the kids lunch and uniforms...
I don't know if it's just laziness (he is lazy) or if he genuinely does not see it. Because if I go a few days without doing something, he doesn't really notice... but when he does notice all hell breaks loose.