Partner does nothing | Page 2 | Bub Hub
+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 44
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,991
    Thanks
    284
    Thanked
    727
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Maybe you need to organise a weekend away so he can be in charge of the kids on his own for a couple of days. He will then see how much you have to do!

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ruby_Tuesday15 For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (20-11-2015),VicPark  (20-11-2015)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Country WA
    Posts
    6,481
    Thanks
    2,959
    Thanked
    2,849
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Partner does nothing

    Mine doesn't cook or clean on a regular basis, but helps out if we have people coming over, parties etc, but he always helps with the kids and does 80% of the garden maintenance.

    He usually gets home as I'm dishing up dinner, so he helps the kids get dried and dressed in their PJ's, we eat, he brushes their teeth while I tidy up and then we both put them to bed and go relax together.

    Make him a list and tell him to pull his finger out. Your job isn't 9-5 and they are his kids too.

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    464
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked
    78
    Reviews
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Ruby_Tuesday15 View Post
    What if you sit him down and ask why your job is 24/7 and his has an end time? I find my hubby will get a bit blind to what needs doing, but I ask him which job he wants to do. I'll say "do you want to do the baths, or clean up the kitchen etc?" Or whatever the things that need doing. It kinda reminds him that it's not all my job.
    I have also done this with no winning result. All I did was assign him dishes at one stage and he agreed to do them after dinner every night and then started to complain about how there were so many dishes to do and wouldn't clean the pots or oven dishes and said that was my job as he doesn't like doing big stuff? For starters I do dishes during the day so they don't pile up anyway so by the time he gets home there is probably an extra bowl, cups and cutlery which isn't a lot added. I also ask him if he wants to give the kids a bath if I'm tidying the house, most of the time I vacuum at night as it's a bit cheaper to use electricity, but he will sit there and wait until I am done and then say "oh I forgot. Can't you do it as you're already up?". Then I just do it as it is literally impossible to make him do the simplest of things

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    7,161
    Thanks
    1,700
    Thanked
    3,394
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    See I think this stuff is a negotiation type situation.
    My DD is about to turn 3. During the last three years both DH and I have worked...and we've both either been at home while the other worked.
    In the beginning with being a SAHM it was really tough adjusting. As time went on i was able to negotiate stuff more readily with DH.
    I'm now not working and staying at home. ..and he's working.
    I've told him I'll happily clean and cook. He has to do the yard. He cleans is dishes at night time. Empties dishwasher. He irons his own clothes and will get up with DD on weekends.
    Sometimes he complains though. Lol. But I do too!
    I think you should sit down calmly and talk about how you're feeling. Suggest he does something you want him to do.

  6. #15
    SuperGranny's Avatar
    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    sunshine coast qld
    Posts
    6,001
    Thanks
    4,392
    Thanked
    2,559
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    hi fluffykitty, when I was a sahm, I did everything inside the house and he did the yard work. if I needed a hand with something, I asked and he helped. that is how we managed. He had a job that took him away from home for average of 3 weeks at a time, so I got used to doing everything on my own anyway. I never put pressure on myself for the house to be spotless. I often think we mums put a lot of stress on ourselves because our houses are not spotless, and the children are not well behaved little angels. sometimes we need to just relax a little bit, and life would be more comfortable. in your situation, I do think he is being a bit selfish, and lazy. perhaps a list of what you need help with, telling him he needs to start helping you more, and he can choose which jobs he will do. I don't see much point in having repeated arguments, over the same stuff, if he wont help, then you might need to get a cleaner. I don't know what else you can do. marie.

  7. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    988
    Thanks
    370
    Thanked
    613
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    You are not his slave... I would go on strike. If he's hungry, he can feed himself, if he wants clean clothes, he can do it himself etc

    I would not tolerate that sort of laziness. Lift your game or leave buddy.

  8. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    3,362
    Thanks
    532
    Thanked
    1,194
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    My DH is exactly as you described. I work casually at the moment but usually at least 2 shifts a week - either on the weekend when he's got the kids or on a Monday when mum has them.

    We go in cycles. I get completely jack of doing everything and either loose it (cue tears and a fight) or am more diplomatic and being it up in a nice way at the right time about not feeling valued at all and like I'm expected to cook, clean and follow around after everyone being there hand maiden. Then he improves for a bit, we agree on him doing hand dishes while I stack dishwasher once kids are in bed and we tidy up kids toys together and in about 20 mins it's all done.

    Then a week or so later he does less and less until I'm back to doing it all again. Then rinse and repeat.

    Drives me nuts. Thing is DH just thinks leave it, it doesn't matter, therefore because I want it done cos I don't want to live in a pig sty, I'll do it and just get angrier and angrier.

    Sorry I'm not much help. Luckily my DH will shower the kids, as in, he will have a shower and I will bring in the baby and then go get him once he is cleaned, but at least it's something!

  9. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    3,362
    Thanks
    532
    Thanked
    1,194
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Olive Oil View Post
    You are not his slave... I would go on strike. If he's hungry, he can feed himself, if he wants clean clothes, he can do it himself etc

    I would not tolerate that sort of laziness. Lift your game or leave buddy.
    See my DH would just wear dirty clothes and not even think twice. And if I made dinner for myself and the kids and not him, that would be being childish (which I kind of agree is, and I also agree that him not helping is childish)

  10. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    988
    Thanks
    370
    Thanked
    613
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by shani2 View Post
    See my DH would just wear dirty clothes and not even think twice. And if I made dinner for myself and the kids and not him, that would be being childish (which I kind of agree is, and I also agree that him not helping is childish)
    Gross, men! Hehe

    So what if it's childish? He's being completely disrespectful to her. She deserves a lot better than that. Fight fire with fire.

  11. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,572
    Thanks
    404
    Thanked
    797
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Agree with other PPs, he needs to pull his finger out. Hubby works a lot but will still come home and help with dishes, washing and getting DS fed and ready for bed. I do everything else (all other cleaning and cooking) but I do want a bit of a hand in the evenings so we can then sit down and relax once 7pm hits and DS is in bed.

    One constant fight we had though was over the yard. The gardening literally never got done (we both hate gardening and weekends are always so busy) so we (well, I) decided to just get a gardener to come around once a month and maintain it for us. It's a little bit of money but our sanity and endless fights over gardening has improved a huge amount, and the garden is now enjoyable and not a constant mess. That has really helped too, as now its only the inside that needs maintaining.
    Tell hubby to pull his finger out or you will get someone in to help you out!


 

Similar Threads

  1. My partner stinks!
    By azelqra in forum General Chat
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 21-10-2015, 09:33
  2. your partner and appointments
    By Hayles79 in forum First Trimester Chat
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 24-01-2015, 15:25
  3. Concerns Regarding my Partner.
    By Jeshika in forum First Trimester Chat
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 21-11-2014, 17:43

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Free weekly newsletters | Sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Heinz Baby Basics
Our BPA Free range offers you a choice for every stage of your baby’s feeding development. You’ll love our brilliant colours, inspired designs and innovative features. Heinz Baby Basics caters for your baby’s needs!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!