She's the most loveliest baby, full on but adorable, I thought she was winning him over now not sure what to think
OP, you've stated a number of times that DD2 was unplanned, but were you and your DH on the same page about seeing through with the pregnancy? Or did he want you to terminate the pregnancy? If it were the latter does he maybe not only resent your DD2 but you as well?
If that's the case I would say that's the source of the issue and counselling is probably going to be more useful if you address those issues first given any other feelings of resentment, anger, frustration etc won't get solved unless you address the underlying issue which is you both getting pregnant, you wanting to keep the baby and him not wanting to.
I must say though if this is the case, he doesn't seem like he will ever be able to let it go until perhaps DD2 is old enough that he can interact with her like he does your older kids.
So please try and sit down with him and out your thoughts aside to begin with and find out from him, how he feels about everything. Then with that up your sleeve you will better be able to address the issues you have as you will have the benefit of knowing where his problem lies, rather than just from the perspective that he's clearly treating you badly.
Good luck, I hope you can find a way through this all, you deserve to be treated better as does your DD2.
OP I've seen a number of your threads now, how are you going making some time to meet other people?
It's not unreasonable to ask your DP to take a day off to help you. If you are constantly drowning in house work he needs to pull his weight around the house and help you out. Does he do any housework or cleaning? Would you be able to hire a cleaner for a few hours a week to help you out? This could go a long way to taking the stress off of you in the short term.
I think your DP really needs to spend some time with your youngest as it sounds like he hasn't bonded with her all that well (sorry if that's wrong, just the impression I'm getting). If this is the case I personally think this needs to be the priority, your DD is here now and he needs to resolve any issues he has about that, 17 months of lingering issues around this is not healthy for anyone in the family.
He also needs to step up at home and help out more if he isn't doing this. Have you thought about putting your youngest in childcare 1 or 2 days a week to give you a break and some breathing space?
I hope you are able to get out a bit more and meet some people too for your own health and wellbeing.
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