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  1. #11
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    Default Bullying at work.. I know off topic but just need some help

    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    Bullying is generally one sided Vic Park that's why it's called bullying. It's unprovoked. A relationship spat is generally 2 sided workplace bullying is generally not.

    OP I would find another job and when serving out your notice period make her life hell 😀
    True. However some allegations of bullying are simply a case of performance management gone bad or different personalities with poor communication. Someone claiming bullying doesn't necessarily mean there is bullying or that the problem can't be fixed.
    Last edited by VicPark; 19-11-2015 at 05:20.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    True. However some allegations of bullying are simply a case of performance management gone bad or different personalities with poor communication. Someone claiming bullying doesn't necessarily mean there is bullying or that the problem can't be fixed.
    And sometimes... People are just bullies.

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  4. #13
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    I guess something to consider as well is that the OP has posted this in a very specific thread (The PCOS chat thread) because she knows the people and feels safer here.
    Just sayin'.
    Last edited by misskittyfantastico; 18-11-2015 at 22:59.

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  6. #14
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    I agree with what @Wise Enough said.

    However, there are always going to be people that we just don't get along with and situations that are less than perfect.
    I guess what a person does depends on the individual. Some people can cope, fight it and work through it and deal with horrible people. Take it in their stride, do their job and ignore the negatives.
    I've left a job purely based on the fact that I was utterly miserable because of my boss, who was a dead set cow. It got to the point where I was so depressed about my job it started to affect every aspect of my life and I felt like ****e all the time, even outside of work. It consumed me and I was literally sick with stress. Leaving that job was the best decision I made.

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    I've been working for 25 years. No matter what you treat people with respect and as you would want them to treat you. Now I imagine how it would be if one of my kids got a job and someone was a sh-t to them. It would make my blood boil.

    I don't care how many times people make mistakes (non critical) when they are learning or if we just have different personalities. Work is where a lot of people spend a lot of their time. They deserve a calm environment.

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    Default Bullying at work.. I know off topic but just need some help

    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    And sometimes... People are just bullies.
    I think you've missed my point. In my opinion there are very few cases where someone is truly an ********. If you figure out what is making the other person tick (requires sufficient emotional intelligence) you may just be able to improve the situation.

    I have a staff member who has a history of losing temper with other staff - really is disliked. After a bit of digging it turns out the staff member has some specific life experiences and a mental health condition which is partly behind the anger. A bit of help, a tailored communications approach, counsellIng and very clear rapid feedback from myself with specific incidents and there hasn't been a complaint in quite some time.

    Not saying all cases can be helped (especially if they have been left to fester) just that if you scratch the surface you never know what you will find.

    Not saying this to try and upset the OP, just to provide food for thought and perhaps something will resonate which may be if assistance. I will note that *if* the OP is interested in promotions or climbing the management ladder, if she can look at workplace relations in a proactive and preventative light rather than a reactive light then that would help advancement prospects. Of course if the OP has no interest in climbing the ladder, her supervisor should be able to do this (hopefully) and nip the bullying behavior in the bud.
    Last edited by VicPark; 19-11-2015 at 05:28.

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  11. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I think you've missed my point. In my opinion there are very few cases where someone is truly an ********. If you figure out what is making the other person tick (requires sufficient emotional intelligence) you may just be able to improve the situation.

    I have a staff member who has a history of losing temper with other staff - really is disliked. After a bit of digging it turns out the staff member has some specific life experiences and a mental health condition which is partly behind the anger. A bit of help, a tailored communications approach, counsellIng and very clear rapid feedback from myself with specific incidents and there hasn't been a complaint in quite some time.

    Not saying all cases can be helped (especially if they have been left to fester) just that if you scratch the surface you never know what you will find.

    Not saying this to try and upset the OP, just to provide food for thought and perhaps something will resonate which may be if assistance. I will note that *if* the OP is interested in promotions or climbing the management ladder, if she can look at workplace relations in a proactive and preventative light rather than a reactive light then that would help advancement prospects. Of course if the OP has no interest in climbing the ladder, her supervisor should be able to do this (hopefully) and nip the bullying behavior in the bud.
    So you're effectively saying if someone can't work out why someone else is being a horrible bully it's because they lack sufficient emotional intelligence?

    OP I've had one workplace experience that was horrible and I regret not leaving sooner. I was 20 and determined to stick it out and all I got to show for it was being physically sick and emotionally wrecked by the end. Even at 20 I'd been working for 6 years prior and had not one issue, and in the years that have followed I've never had any problems. I should have just cut my losses and left, your happiness and wellbeing is worth so much more.

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    Quote Originally Posted by just her chameleon View Post
    So you're effectively saying if someone can't work out why someone else is being a horrible bully it's because they lack sufficient emotional intelligence?
    .
    It could be that. Or it could be that by the time the person decided to do something things had been left to fester for too long (bad management etc) and it was much harder to work out what was really going on. Or it could be that although the person has the EI they are so busy and stressed with their own life they just don't have the time or energy to put into working it out (understandable).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I've been working for 25 years. No matter what you treat people with respect and as you would want them to treat you. Now I imagine how it would be if one of my kids got a job and someone was a sh-t to them. It would make my blood boil.

    I don't care how many times people make mistakes (non critical) when they are learning or if we just have different personalities. Work is where a lot of people spend a lot of their time. They deserve a calm environment.
    Yes, this is true.

    There are people who are nasty out there. It's just how some people are. I'm sure every work place has one.

    Do you have a union rep? That would be my first port of call and the I would go from there. If not, I'd set up a meeting with this woman and your boss and another support person for you and the "bully"

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    I was bullied at my last job by a more senior team member. The manager did nothing so I went to the area manager who said to try and work it out. I wasn't supported by anyone in management so I resigned. Then she started on other staff members who resigned as well. I found out that the bully got a promotion to assistant manager! I hate bullies and I will never be in a job where I'm bullied. It's not worth it

    I'm sorry OP you are experiencing this. I hope you are ok xxx


 

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