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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    That's extreme. I don't understand why he went to the police and why you both need to cancel your respective holidays.

    Can't you attempt to work something out?

    This way everyone loses and it really puts the kids in the middle.
    As I said, ongoing legal issues. He is supposed to contact police and advocate when he feels uncomfortable with something. This is what he was told to do.

    Everyone always loses when she organises something.

    There is no way the holiday would have gone ahead even with H being ok with them travelling as UMs- there is noone to pick them up!

    ETA: We have been discussing travel plans for 8 months. What else can we do? We have been clear with dates, with no alteration.

  2. #22
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    No way in heck I would want my 7 and 9 year old travelling unaccompanied. So I can understand our hubby's concern. That being said are you sure there wasn't a misunderstanding regarding dates and availability? I just find it hard to believe a mum would book transport for her kids knowing there was no one at the other end to pick them up

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    No way in heck I would want my 7 and 9 year old travelling unaccompanied. So I can understand our hubby's concern. That being said are you sure there wasn't a misunderstanding regarding dates and availability? I just find it hard to believe a mum would book transport for her kids knowing there was no one at the other end to pick them up
    Not meaning to derail but why not?

    My sister and I did it all the time when we were kids. My parents weren't separated but we often visited our grandparents in a different city. They waited with us at the terminal. A hostess walked us to our seats and then sat with us. We were walked off the plane and handed to our grandparents.

    What could go wrong? Genuinely curious.

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    TheGooch  (16-11-2015)

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post

    I know, but H is not comfortable with it. They are his kids and she needs his permission, end of.
    No passports, no immigration.
    Oh, and we pick our battles...there is so much we could bring up, but won't and just want to deal with this.
    Clearly you don't think it's a big deal, but their father does. And I will not debate that.
    Is this really over the unattended travel though, or bc she has refused to move her dates? I'm not saying letting them fly without a parent is nothing, but I know from having single mum friends and being on this forum a long time that it's extremely common in blended families and certainly not seen in a negative light by the courts at their ages.

    I know from your previous threads there is an adversarial relationship there. I know you are going to get annoyed with me saying this but going to the police bc his ex won't agree on holiday dates is just going to add to the angst. You say she's not allowed to make solo parenting decisions bc she is unfit, then why does she have full or 50/50 custody? I know you say you won't go into it, which is fair enough, but you are getting angry at people bc we don't know the 'real situation' but then you won't tell us so it makes it hard to give feedback.

    I'm genuinely trying to say this in a non confrontational way but they aren't his kids. They are their kids. Yes, it sounds like she is being rude and selfish with her dates given you booked first. But surely a solution can be found so that someone trust worthy can pick them up and everyone gets to go on holiday? It just seems a bit extreme to cancel everyone's holidays, go to the police etc over this?

  6. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (18-11-2015),BettyV  (17-11-2015),HollyGolightly81  (16-11-2015),meredithgreyxxx  (16-11-2015),PomPoms  (16-11-2015),SSecret Squirrel  (16-11-2015),TheGooch  (16-11-2015),VicPark  (16-11-2015),yadot  (17-11-2015)

  7. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Not meaning to derail but why not?

    My sister and I did it all the time when we were kids. My parents weren't separated but we often visited our grandparents in a different city. They waited with us at the terminal. A hostess walked us to our seats and then sat with us. We were walked off the plane and handed to our grandparents.

    What could go wrong? Genuinely curious.
    I suppose I don't trust others and worry about a worse case scenario . If the flight is lengthy - what happens if the hostess pops off to the restroom for 10 minutes? (Perhaps 20 minutes if she needed a dump). What if there is a pedo on board waiting for a chance? What if there is an aggressive adult who has a go at my child for accidentally bumping the seat? (No-one will protect my child like I, or a known guardian will).

    What if there is a delay and the plane is stuck on the Tarmac for several hours?

    I suppose my feelings might alter slightly with a 2 hour direct flight versus a 10 hour flight with a stop-over. I once caught a flight and due to weather there was a unplanned overnight stopover. I remember a 15 year old girl (flying alone) calling her parents scared ****less as she didn't know what to do (airline didn't provide accommodation).

    Maybe my views are tainted as my kids are still young and have specific behavioral quirks that it would be difficult for a new party to work with.

    Hope that makes sense.

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    Sonja  (16-11-2015)

  9. #26
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    I wouldn't let them travel on their own at those ages. Probably 12 is my limit. My worry is a disaster that the flight attendants need to attend to and leave my children to fend for themselves.

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    DT75  (17-11-2015)

  11. #27
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    It's one of those things that's impossible to imagine doing when your kids are little. I did it often as a 7/8 year old with my sister who was 9/10 and we loved it.

    I've stopped saying that my kids won't be allowed to do certain things until they reach X y z age (unless it's actually a law) as every child matures differently. My oldest is 10 and while I think she'd be fine as an UM she isn't ready. DD2 is 6 and would be completely fine. I wouldn't at her age as we live too far away from anyone she'd be visiting.

    I find it interesting what other people would or wouldn't do.

  12. #28
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    Personally I'd bawk at it. I admit I tend to be a Shelterer (much nicer than Helicopter parent lol) and I would be anxious. But I don't believe it's neglect to put a 7 and 9yo on a plane in Oz, have staff watch them then have an adult pick them up upon touchdown. Thousands of blended families do it, in fact I know some single mothers on here in the past have said the court has enforced they do this with similar aged kids to see their father.

    There just seems to be a power struggle on both sides going on here and it's the kids who will miss out on a holiday and be in the middle of the feud.

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  14. #29
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    Dd was 10 when I let her fly across the state as a UM. Unfortunately our experience was bad. Her flight was diverted to a town 5 hrs drive from where she was meant to go. They were held on the tarmac for 5 hours and flew back to the original town. She didn't have any cash and they didn't give her food or drinks. We weren't told what was going on and finally heard what happened on the freaking news (the PM plane leak fuel over the tarmac)

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    Dd was 10 when I let her fly across the state as a UM. Unfortunately our experience was bad. Her flight was diverted to a town 5 hrs drive from where she was meant to go. They were held on the tarmac for 5 hours and flew back to the original town. She didn't have any cash and they didn't give her food or drinks. We weren't told what was going on and finally heard what happened on the freaking news (the PM plane leak fuel over the tarmac)
    That's the type of situation I would be worried about. I'm just not prepared to put my kids lives in the hands of someone I don't know.

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