Thanks @Bongley and @BlondeinBrisvegas for your kind words, support and advice - much appreciated. I'm in debt now after the failure of my business so saving up isn't an option unfortunately - and I'd have to go find a job after being self-employed for ten years, and I don't even know how to go about that anymore... I'm seriously thinking of separating so my DH can find a younger woman and have the family he wants - I'm just holding him back. I'm not contributing financially, I'm overweight, I'm unattractive, and I can't give him a baby. There's not much going for me at the moment so I'm seriously thinking of moving on and letting him have a life.
Got my blood test and its postive 🙋 my hcg level was 182 on Monday which I would've been 10dpt and I'm now 12 days post transfer and they want me test again Friday. I'm so happy is 182 a good score for 10 days pregnant xx
You might be carrying a few extra kg's atm but I'll bet you're far from unattractive Luv!! Doing IVF & having hypothyroidism will do that!!😦
You're taking steps to address these things & get your health back on track. You are not a worthless human being with nothing to offer either. I can see why you're feeling this way but it's just not true!!
I'm very much concerned for you Luv...emotionally...mentally...your self esteem/self worth etc. Are you still seeing your counsellor?? I'm worried you might be heading towards a depressive episode. God knows I can understand if you are with everything you've been through & are going through😦 (((hugs)))
I wonder if a Life Coach type of person may be of some assistance as well to help give direction etc?? I tell you now, if I lived closer to you I'd be round with a bottle of wine to knock some sense into you (with my words..not the bottle) quick bloody smart I can assure you!!!
If I can help you in any way Luv please let me knowxoxo
Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 18-11-2015 at 17:13.
I hope it's not ectopic, @midnite01. let's hope your BT on friday gives more of an idea. can they do a scan or something to check also? (not sure?)
congrats @neekynoo1992! that's exciting for you both. I wish my eggs were as young and healthy
@Summer, it all sounds rough. but I'm sure your DH loves you and wouldn't want you to split up for those reasons. big hugs for you, it sounds like you need some extra hugs atm. have you looked into adoption perhaps. my DP mentioned his workmates are going to do it for their third child (they had 2 kids via IVF - took ages each time, the wife is in her 30s) and he said it's not as hard/long a process as I'd thought. he mentioned at least 6mths after IVF plus a cutoff at 45 though (which eliminates me/us unfortunately). so I haven't looked into it fully but perhaps it's worth taking a look if this is something you might want to try. I guess DE is similar, though you get to carry the bub. I wish there was a way I could snap my fingers and give you what you want. (for everyone including me)
Summer there's more to life than having kids, he loves you for you, not your womb! You are going through a bad patch it doesn't mean there isn't much going for you and we aren't defined by our jobs/financial worth. Have you spoken to him about how you feel? I agree with BIB it may be worth your while chatting to someone to put everything into perspective. Infertility is just the worst thing, its no wonder we fall down at times, you know?
Last edited by Bongley; 18-11-2015 at 17:23.
@Summer my heart is breaking for you. I really hope you realise you are much more than your ability to reproduce. I know it feels hopeless right now but you just have to find a way to see a plan b. Foster/ adopt /DE. ??? Access super? Maybe choose a study path to a new career? Starting over is always so difficult. And ivf is just unfair most of the time. See a councilor if this will help but mostly be kind to yourself. Sending you hugs.
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