I'm so sorry hon, I really am. To go from sheer joy to absolute heartbreak is just crushing, as many of us know all too well. I had really hoped for a miracle for you and am heartbroken on your behalf.
I have always said that the universe has a plan, and I still firmly believe that. Sometimes though it is really hard to see what that plan might be.
Sending you all the healing vibes I can, and wishing you peace. I am truly sorry your little one couldn't stay.