It is important to me that I am the one there for my baby and for him to have the strongest attachment to me. I have had some issues with the feelings that come when my son wants his dad more than me when he gets home from work. But I think I have got more used of this and even like it because I want my son to have a good relationship with dad too and I can now understand that he is excited coz he hadn't seen dad all day.
But lately I've had lots of trouble with the in laws. When my baby cries in their arms, he looks at me and clearly wants me. I just wanna go pick him up and hold him close. But instead I am made to feel like I need to look away and ignore him crying for me. Because my in laws make it clear that they wanna settle him and when I come up to take my baby and say that I better take him, my in laws ignore me and just don't give him back to me. It took me asking several times last time in a stern, slightly mean way to get him back.
I don't know how to handle this, I don't feel comfortable getting stern with them and my husband refuses to step in. Is it good that I want to take my son back when he cries? Am I teaching him bad habits? Or should I respond to him? Will it affect my attachment with him if I don't take him? I just hate seeing my baby looking at me crying, and then I just break our eye contact and ignore him. I feel terrible. But I am made to feel terrible when I take him too.
Also, how do you guys get the strongest attachment with your baby? I am so afraid that he will be as attached to his dad or grandma or auntie as much as he is to me. I don't know if they are bad feelings but they are so significant and overpowering within me.
Thanks so much for your help.