I wish I could say 'yes, I am happy'. I hope that one day soon I can. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for what I have, family and friends, a gorgeous 8 month old nephew, a roof over my head and an income. I do however suffer from severe anxiety. To the point where I think it has turned into depression. I dislike my job and I dislike the situation I am currently in. I get anxious just leaving my house these days, especially when I go to work. I am in a very complicated relationship with someone I deeply love, but we can never be together. What I really want from life is my own family, I want a husband and I want children. I'm 36 years old and I can't seem to get out of the rut I'm in, but somethings got to give soon. I'm definitely not where I thought I would be at this point in my life and I'm not happy.