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  1. #1
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    Default Teenage girl behaviour... Advice...

    Hi there..

    recently my 14 year old stepdaughter who is very sweet but somewhat timid and naive at the best of times approached a group of teenage boys (8) she didn't know and asked to play touch football with them in a park. I was completely gobsmacked as she is very emotionally dependent and is nervous about going to public toilets in shopping centres. I found it completely out of character and not something a girl this age (never had a boyfriend) would feel comfortable doing. Does anyone have any input on whether this is perfectly normal behaviour or a bit weird! I'd love it if she suddenly started to become social but it just seems out of whack with the rest of her behaviour. I'd be interested in knowing what teenage boys would think of a complete strange girl coming up to them in this way? Appreciate any forum thoughts...

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    I don't think anyone on here can make a call without Further details on your stepdaughter - what she is like, is she in to sports, types of friendships she has, how is school going, who else was at the park with her, any other problems with her life etc.

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    Is that the only thing she has done recently that seems out of character?

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    Thank you for responses... It occurred on a contact visit with her father and I... She used to be interested in sport and sporty but that was when she was a lot younger. Her mother is very controlling and is somewhat obsessed with her daughter being 'academic' which the child isn't naturally. All attempts we have made to encourage the child to be social etc is not looked upon favourably by her or her mother... The child is overly anxious about study and spends hours either studying or reading books she will be assessed on at school. Normally has no interest in reading whatsoever unless it will be marked as part of school assessment. Hence why we thought the sudden interest in going up to a group of boys she doesn't know was a bit out of character. She is very controlled by her mother and did ask her father permission to play with these boys. Only us at the park with her. Only has a small group of friends at a co-ed school. All chosen by her mother as all academically minded... Not sporty. No sport played outside of school. Usually very shy except when father points out something that is opposite to her mother's view and she then becomes very mater of fact and full of attitude.
    Last edited by Rusticchic; 07-11-2015 at 22:43.

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    I'm still not sure. Does your DH spend much one on one time with his child? If he was to have a chat with her, how do you think it would be received?

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    Rusticchic  (08-11-2015)

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    Maybe she feels more comfortable being herself i.e. sporty with you? And maybe it just took this long for her to have rhe courage to do it? It could also be rebelling against her mother. But I don't know her/the family dynamics so its just a guess...

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  9. #7
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    No... Due to distance. Once a school term on a weekend and 1 week of holidays each school holiday break. Twice a week 10 min chat on phone. It's not a great relationship. Very toxic between parents. Child very much a people pleaser and seems to go through the motions as per court orders. Our relationship would be good except mother not favourable as DH has moved on and we have a little 4 year old boy together. I think child buries a lot of emotion and what you see on the outside is not what's really happening in the inside. I try but it's apparent that she carries her mothers views on me and her dad. ;(

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Maybe she feels more comfortable being herself i.e. sporty with you? And maybe it just took this long for her to have rhe courage to do it? It could also be rebelling against her mother. But I don't know her/the family dynamics so its just a guess...
    I'm heading towards this as well. It seems from what you have described the true her isn't what her mother portrays and the part she has been playing. It almost seems technically that mask her mother makes her wear is out of character and this is her true self.

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    Rusticchic  (08-11-2015)

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    My thoughts

    * I don't understand the point of this thread............................... How is a 14 year old girl playing a game of touch football with a group of teenage boys cause for concern?

    * As you state the relationship between your husband and his exwife is very toxic, I would hazard a guess that what you have posted about the exwife being overly controlling of the daughter's life is a very biased and tainted view of her actions.

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  14. #10
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    Secret squirrel... You would totally understand if I went into lengthy detail but it's definitely too long and not the place for it here. No bias but I can see why you would think this based on the small amount of background I've been able to give.

    in a nutshell, her father has a few concerns with her erratic behaviour which has come on suddenly. I just thought I'd canvass a few views from anyone else with a teenage daughter as my friends all have toddlers so unable to give me any feedback.

    As for 'point of this thread'.... I would think this type of forum wouldn't have 'conditions' about the type of content posted. But it seems you are the only one with this view. Thanks to all the others who gave productive and helpful comments.

    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    My thoughts

    * I don't understand the point of this thread............................... How is a 14 year old girl playing a game of touch football with a group of teenage boys cause for concern?

    * As you state the relationship between your husband and his exwife is very toxic, I would hazard a guess that what you have posted about the exwife being overly controlling of the daughter's life is a very biased and tainted view of her actions.


 

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