With the examples you mentioned I wouldn't necessarily have written the inlaws off.
My mil has said when she comes to visit (once a year - doesn't Skype or anything during that time) that my DS doesn't like her. Well lady he just doesn't know you. I leave it at hat though - there are complicated. reasons behind why she's not very talkative through the year - I've learned not to take it personally.
As for my SIL snatching bub for half an hour - that just wouldn't have happened. I would have nipped that in the bud. And as for her getting huffy I probably either wouldn't have noticed (when I'm focused on bub I'm focused) or ignored it/not let it get to me.
I'm not saying you don't have valid concerns, just that different people interpret situations/react differently. Based on these examples (and I know there's probably more) I probably wouldn't have batted an eye lid. On this alone I would still occasionally be with my inlaws but spend lots of time in the toilet playing on my phone when they were visiting...