I'm a big drinker. I binge drank my way through my 20s and my favourite wine glasses are the ones that hold a quarter of an bottle but still look mostly empty 😉 I still love a drink now, consider myself pretty intelligent (toot toot!), have a tertiary education and my social circle is mostly made up of people like me.
I had private obstetric care with DS1 and a private midwife with my pregnancy with DS2 (birthed in a public hospital with a public ob). Both my healthcare providers advocated an occasional wine was OK. So whoever called BS on that, I'm telling you that's precisely what I was told. I was also told to be vigilant but not OTT about listeria risks, take folic acid and a whole bunch of other advice to optimize the health of my babies.
I was a cold meat shunning, sushi avoiding, vitamin taking tee totaller during both my pregnancies. With DS1 not a drop of alcohol passed my lips and with DS2 I had a sip of red wine with the intent of having a glass in my 41st week of pregnancy under the *advice* of my midwife, but the guilt was awful and I handed the glass to DH. I know loads of people who had the very odd drink during pregnancy and it used to make me so, so angry because IMO it was taking a risk for such a trivial benefit. I kept saying to myself, if even I can not drink for 42 weeks (well, 41+5, thanks DS2) then anyone can. But I held my tongue because FASD was/is still seen as the affliction of children from mothers who drank heavily and even in recent years, professional opinion has been that the odd drink does no harm.
It's a touchy topic but I agree, one that needs more discussion. I haven't watched the show and won't because I will find it too distressing, but I wonder if anyone who has watched it can shed light on whether any of the mothers in the show had caregivers who advocated the odd drink? At which point do they also shoulder some of the responsibility and acknowledge their advice was in fact negligent?
We were talking about smoking during pregnancy on Facebook recently and there are an alarming number of people who, as heavy smokers, were told it was okay to smoke during pregnancy or, at least, that's how they interpreted what their OB told them. What their OB may have said was "cut back and you need to quit" but what they heard was "cut back". So many people reported that their OB said "it would be dangerous for you to quit smoking" which was more than likely a "don't go cold turkey but you do need to quit" and they just heard what they wanted to hear.
A huge part of the issue here is Australia's drinking culture. People seem to think that you HAVE to drink to have a good time. Way back in the thread someone said it was crazy to abstain from alcohol at your wedding. I didn't intentionally do so but I drank no alcohol at my wedding and had a perfectly good time.
I've long thought that Australia's drinking culture NEEDS to change and this is just further proof. So many things would be improved if we, as a society, drank less (one punch deaths, glassings, other violent crimes, etc.).
Last edited by Apple iPhart6; 04-11-2015 at 06:46.
Sad to see the thread descend into back biting bc it's such an important topic (but glad mods haven't closed it ) Look, as I already said, I never drink at all in my pgs. My personal stance is that it's been so difficult to get the baby I would probably blame myself if something happened even if it wasn't related to the alcohol. I agree there is no safe level and I was told that almost 12 years ago when pg with my first child so it's been around a long time.
But members are talking about a drink or two a week here, not a day. The women who have done this are good mums who love their kids. No parent is perfect and I dare anyone to raise their hand that was absolutely perfect in pg, not just in food but in every way. Obviously as parents we want to do the right thing, me included. But I'm certainly no perfect mum, wife or human. If someone admitted drinking 5 drinks a day I'd get the outrage. But Sonya etc had 1 or 2 a week. We may not see eye to eye on everything but I do know she's a loving responsible mum.
I want to ask my OB his thoughts on drinking during pregnancy the next time I see him but I'm scared he'll say it's okay and then I'll think less of him.
Last edited by Apple iPhart6; 04-11-2015 at 06:45.
I don't think people should drink during pregnancy but even the woman on the show who was drinking 7 standard drinks a day is a loving, responsible mum. She made a terrible, terrible choice during pregnancy and she is living with those consequences every day, as is her daughter.
The fact that people judge the mothers who drank during pregnancy so harshly really does nothing towards helping the children who are suffering from it. It just makes it that much harder for their mothers to get them help when it's such a shameful thing to know they caused this and that fear of being judged for it is so prevalent.
It's tragic women are drinking like this. But they need help.
I think any kind of change needs to start with the medical profession. The caregivers of pregnant women need to be asking how many standard drinks they're having right from the first appointment after they find out they're pregnant. If they drink a lot or often, they need to be managed differently and given support to get through the pregnancy with as little alcohol as possible.
Many people have said that FASD is 100% preventable and it is but the medical profession are the front line of the battlefield against it so to speak.
7 standard drinks every day? Wow. Though that's "only" a bottle of wine, little bit less. I know people who could do that and *do* do that every day without any problems. Well, aside from the fact they're obviously high functioning alcoholics....
I'm tipping though it's way more common than thought. Even my well trained liver couldn't handle that level of drinking.
People get very defensive about their drinking habits though. Very. And speaking from experience of both myself and people I know, people also underestimate (ie.lie) about how much they drink when their drinking is excessive. I would think measuring what levels of drinking are "safe" would be made even more difficult because of this. I'd be questioning how much the mothers say they drank vs what they actually drank. Shame, guilt, blackout, perception (eg. what is a "standard drink" ) and bog standard memory fade can do interesting things to people's recollection of their drinking habits.
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