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  1. #1
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    Default 3 or 4 kids?? Experiences please worts and All

    Hi, I'm mum to 3 boys, 1 3 and 5 (5 Yr old starts school next year) and debating having a 4th. Im 38 and financially it would be better for me to return to work, plus we would need to upgrade the car, plus the craziness of a larger family (it's already crazy) but I just can't shake the feeling that I really want a 4th. Please tell me your experiences worts and all. Am I iust making life really complicated by wanting a 4th? I know once the Bub is here I wouldn't be able to imagine life without them but don't know whether I should just enjoy the family I have now.

  2. #2
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    Subbing. I have 3 and we are debating the #4.

  3. #3
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    Default 3 or 4 kids?? Experiences please worts and All

    Can't share experience yet as I'm pregnant with Baby 4, but like you I did not feel done and would never have felt finished after number 3. Now very close to the end of this pregnancy, I truly know that our family is complete and I will have no desire for more babies after this. I have never felt that way before and it is a lovely feeling to finally *know* this is us. Very much looking forward to the next stage of my life with no more pregnancies. Can't wait for my newby to be here though! I love newborns so much, it's my favourite bit!!!
    Good luck with your decision making. I think no matter what experiences people share with you, you're still probably going to feel the way you feel. It's so different for everyone anyway, some will have lots of negatives and others will have lots of positives and everything in between.

    My kids will be just turned 6, 4.5 and 2.5 when this one is born

  4. #4
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    Not much difference only needed to buy a bigger car and we are extending our house.

  5. #5
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    I really didn't find the difference going from 3 to 4. Yep life is busy, well non stop really but you would be with 3 anyway. Yep, you need a bigger car and if you don't want kids to share rooms then a bigger house too (my girls all want to share so we have a 4 bed and study house and only use 3 beds). I guess things to consider when it comes to finances is schooling - private vs public but most of the private schools I've come across do discount for 4 or more kids, sports- we've been up for a fortune this year as my 2 eldest started doing competitive dance, and eating out can be costly.
    I love having 4 and currently trying for number 5. I've never felt done but I really hope after 5 that I do!

  6. #6
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    I originally only wanted 2 but hubby wanted 3 and I did too as ds2 got a bit older. I felt complete after having ds3. Dh would go again though. For us having 4 would mean we'd have to get a bigger house and car wise we already have 7 seaters which is great for 3 kids as the oldest can sit in the back row and we split the seat so have that extra room, all 3 kids have plenty of space which is important re the distances we travel, having a 4th would change the dynamics in so many ways. Go for it op if you feel your not done.

  7. #7
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    Thank you everyone for your kind responses. Such a tough decision! My head seems to be ruling at the moment and sticking with 3 and enjoying them and the lovely life we have. Maybe it's normal to have this feeling of wanting more but it's ok to feel that way and not act on it..especially as 4 does up the ante a wee bit more 😀

  8. #8
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    I have four children. Life can certainly be a little bit on the crazy side at times, but I think that is because I still have a baby. Our house is way to small we need to move or renovate and we did have to get a bigger car. It can be very noisy and busy at times but it can be like that with 3.
    There is a big age gap between my children 15,10,4,7 months, so sometimes it can be hard to do activitys that everyone is into. Oftern the older two stay home when we go out. Having older kids is also good because they can help out with the little ones.
    We haven't been on a holiday with 4 but have with 3. Don't know if I could afford to at the moment.
    I never really set out to have 4, all my children have been unplaned. I found the adjustment from 2 to 3 a lot harder than going from 3 to 4. That may be because there was a seven year gap. My youngest two are girls and they are the closest in age. I am kinda glad that we had the forth because my 3rd now has a best friend.

    Hope you make the right decision for you and your family.

  9. #9
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    I'm currently at 2 but know I'm not finished. So subbing as I don't think 3 will complete us either

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    I'm currently at 2 but know I'm not finished. So subbing as I don't think 3 will complete us either
    This!


 

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