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  1. #11
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    Im going to get flamed for this post, but I won't apologise for it. I may delete it quickly though!

    I'm sorry op, but I cannot relate to you at all, you have a house, a big house, a safe house in what sounds like a nice safe neighbourhood, your main complaint is that you don't know your neighbours? Really? Really? Not that they break into your house, have loud parties, are peodophiles, criminals, drug dealers, but that you have no footpath and don't know your neighbours. You have a low mortgage and can afford to live, comfortably by the sounds of it.

    I'm with your husband, why would you move? To compromise your lifestyle, have more expenses, stamp duty, moving costs, no doubt a higher mortgage. To move a km or two, to where you may or may not have nice neighbours that the kids may or may not get along with and play with.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by amcyus View Post
    I am sort of in a similar position...except our house is too small for us & needs a lot doing to it. I want to just up & leave now whereas DP wants to take a couple of years to fix it up a bit before moving on. The main reason I want to move is because the yard is hopeless, uneven and mostly concrete. I can't just send DD to play out there happily. All I want is a flat house that opens out onto a flat yard really, but it looks like I'll have to wait! Financially it makes more sense to wait, DD gets outdoor time at day care and at my mums, plus I take her to parks when I can. Not hugely helpful to you But just letting you know I can relate!
    If he wants to do a few things to the house first, can you prioritise fixing up even a section of the yard to make it kid friendly first? That way you will be happier there for the few years it takes to do the other jobs.

    Our new home has a good backyard but also has a separately fenced courtyard on either side of the house. They are mostly paved/garden beds but my 7yo and 2yo love playing out there - even with a big lawn area beckoning beyond the gate.

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by preggasaurus View Post
    Im going to get flamed for this post, but I won't apologise for it. I may delete it quickly though!

    I'm sorry op, but I cannot relate to you at all, you have a house, a big house, a safe house in what sounds like a nice safe neighbourhood, your main complaint is that you don't know your neighbours? Really? Really? Not that they break into your house, have loud parties, are peodophiles, criminals, drug dealers, but that you have no footpath and don't know your neighbours. You have a low mortgage and can afford to live, comfortably by the sounds of it.

    I'm with your husband, why would you move? To compromise your lifestyle, have more expenses, stamp duty, moving costs, no doubt a higher mortgage. To move a km or two, to where you may or may not have nice neighbours that the kids may or may not get along with and play with.
    of course I wont flame you. I probably didnt explain myself properly and its hard to get everything across in writing. The neighbours thing wasnt really that I didnt know them or we are not friends with them, it was just an example of the fact that we cannot really use the front of our house at all and I would love for the kids to be able to ride their bikes out the front of the house, or play out the front on their scooters etc. In other areas I am looking at it is much quieter and the kids might have that option. But you are right, i do realise that there is nothing to say we wont move and end up with horrendous neighbours hooning in and out of the street.

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    We sort of are, we love where we live for the convenience of it but financially we are treading water. Our problem is we can't agree on where to move to, DH moves job sites often and our current location is perfect for travel no matter where he goes. We feel stuck and unsure what to do but he shoots down all my location ideas so we continue to tread water. Sorry not much help really.

    What is it that your DH is reluctant the most about?

    For DH it boils down to financial security, and I know that's a big thing. Particularly as he does earn the money to support us (my earning capacity is nowhere near what his is, and never will be). We live in a large town outside of a metropolitan city where houses are very reasonably priced, hence why we've been able to get our mortgage to a reasonable level. he is of course also correct in saying that stamp duty is a huge waste of money that we need to factor in. Good luck sorting your location issues out, its actually good for me to get some perspective on where other people are at. xx

    Quote Originally Posted by monnie24 View Post
    Considering I know the area you live

    What about rent a smaller house to see if you like it?

    I want to move interstate and DH doesn't so bit different
    Its something to consider, but I think i'd have less chance of convincing DH to move somewhere that we werent going to stay long term.

    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    just say downsizing would free up some of the equity currently tied up in your too-big house. once you've accessed those funds, think of the possibilities. what floats his boat? new car, new boat, new gadgets, fab vacay for you and him and your girls?sell it to him. he might not go for it overnight but once the cogs get going and he warms up to the idea of the extra $$$$$ at his disposal, he'll surely go for it.

    if that doesn't work, just be honest and tell him what you've told us? sounds like a pretty legit reason to want to move. I'd hate to live on a main road and with two kids, it'd be nice to be in a quiet street where you feel safe having them play out the front. what's wrong with that?
    He agrees that the main road is annoying and a quieter street would be better, and he was the one who recently said that we have probably bought a house that is too big, but as both of this issues are 'first world problems' and really dont affect us day to day, they are not a priority to him, which you know what, when i put it that way, i can see his point (and that i look bratty for even wanting to move).

    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    I am pretty much in the same predicament. DH bought this house before I came along and I've been busting at the seams to buy "our" home together. I've never felt that this was "my" home. We have no mortgage and DH refuses to ever have a mortgage again so upsizing is next to impossible.
    Oh the fights we've had and the tears that have been shed.
    DH gives me 95% of what I want but when he digs his heels in, there is no winning that argument. His argument is that we don't need more room, we're in a great area and we need to save the money we'll need to upgrade.
    I had to be ok with staying here. It took time and a lot of grieving but what choice did I have? Like they say, if you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, then change how you feel about it.
    Probably not what you wanted to hear op, sorry ������
    No problem, I think your advice "change how you feel" is good advice. My house is really nice. I do love the house. We are close driving distance to friends and family. so I think you are right. I need to stop looking at the negatives and e thankful for the positives. thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    OP, if you're staying in the same suburb will your ideal actually happen? (Kids playing in the street, friendly neighbours etc).

    We just moved from the outer suburbs, lots of new estates, soooo many kids (the enrollment at the government primary schools in just that suburb would be close to 5000). We were on a court end and lived there for almost 2 years. We were always friendly but barely knew our neighbours, even in a court end it wasn't safe to let 7yo DD play out the front as there just wasn't the attitude of everyone looking out for everyone else - plus our neighbour had a teenage son and his mates on their Ps would hoon around the blind corner. In walks you would see kids playing in some courts but they would have an adult/teenage sibling out with them.

    We've moved to a country town about 20 min out from the outer suburbs and we've not been here a month and already know most of our neighbours by name, will catch up for a drink or stop to chat with a couple of them and DD has made a friend a few doors down. We're on a through street with no footpaths but very wide nature strips/verge and I feel totally safe with DD out the front.

    So for us, the quiet court in the burbs did not provide the sort of environment we had hoped for.

    I would be very hesitant going into a new build with those expectations as you have no idea who your neighbours will be.
    Thank you for taking the time to reply. You actually make some really good points that I hadnt considered.

    thanks everyone. I know I probably sound bratty, and i didnt mean to. Its been good to look at other people's situations and get some other things to thing about.
    Last edited by GirlsRock; 01-11-2015 at 09:21.

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  7. #15
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    Just a suggestion - have you spoken to the council about a footpath? I am assuming there isn't one on either side of the road? Or just not on yours?

  8. #16
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    there is a footpath on the other side of the road. The road is fairly wide and is divided by a tall row of plants, so its not really safe for the kids to cross over as they have to stop in the middle of the road to look or wait for cars.

  9. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlsRock View Post
    there is a footpath on the other side of the road. The road is fairly wide and is divided by a tall row of plants, so its not really safe for the kids to cross over as they have to stop in the middle of the road to look or wait for cars.
    I'd still query with council. Especially if it was a quieter road that got busy due to new developments - they should upgrade services/roads/footpaths/crossings accordingly. I'm only mentioning as if you are there long term it may be worth trying to make things better. You won't be a horrible resident by doing this.

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    GirlsRock  (01-11-2015)

  11. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    If he wants to do a few things to the house first, can you prioritise fixing up even a section of the yard to make it kid friendly first? That way you will be happier there for the few years it takes to do the other jobs.
    Yes, this is the plan And it is a good one, I'm very lucky to at least have my own home. But sometimes when the bills pile up and time runs out every weekend and it feels like we'll never get it done I turn into a spoiled brat 😄

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    babyno1onboard  (01-11-2015),GirlsRock  (01-11-2015),Stretched  (01-11-2015)

  13. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by amcyus View Post
    Yes, this is the plan And it is a good one, I'm very lucky to at least have my own home. But sometimes when the bills pile up and time runs out every weekend and it feels like we'll never get it done I turn into a spoiled brat ������
    Glad to see I'm not the only sometimes spoiled brat

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    amcyus  (02-11-2015)

  15. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by amcyus View Post
    Yes, this is the plan And it is a good one, I'm very lucky to at least have my own home. But sometimes when the bills pile up and time runs out every weekend and it feels like we'll never get it done I turn into a spoiled brat 😄
    I didn't think it sounded bratty. I feel that a safe outside play space for kids is pretty important.

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