+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 27
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,852
    Thanks
    1,079
    Thanked
    1,232
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default I want to move house, DH doesnt.....

    Has anyone been in a situation where they want to move house, but their DH doesn't?

    A bit of background. DH and I bought the house we live in 5 years ago. It is a beautiful house, it suits us and our family (2 DD's) perfectly, it needs nothing doing to it. We have added a big pergola, done up the back yard. It has increased in value in that 5 years.

    The downside...our house is in a newly designed development and we are on the main road in and out of the development, and its a busy road. There is no footpath on our side of the street and the kids cannot ride their bikes out the front, we dont ever go out the front to play and as such, while there are other kids in our street, we literally never see them. I have never ever been in to our neighbours houses on either side. I know them to wave to and that's it.

    Recently I have been looking at blocks of land nearby (and when I say nearby, like literally less than 1-2km's away) that are in quiet courts at the back of the estate, or in a new estate right next door. The estate next door is beautiful with lots of trees.

    We owe virtually nothing on our mortgage so DH is happy that we are able to easily meet the repayments etc, take holidays, do what we want. But, I cant
    shake the feeling that we are not in our long term house. Funnily enough, if we build elsewhere, I actually want to downsize. Even though this house suits us, there are a couple of rooms too many that we actually rarely use.

    So, have you been in a position where one partner wants to move and the other doesn't, and how did you resolve it?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,964
    Thanks
    1,934
    Thanked
    1,490
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Yes.
    I wanted to move, H didn't.

    We resolved it by me having a valid reason to move- a new baby.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,852
    Thanks
    1,079
    Thanked
    1,232
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Yes.
    I wanted to move, H didn't.

    We resolved it by me having a valid reason to move- a new baby.
    Ha ha, oh god, that is far too extreme an option for me to even consider. Hmmm, I need a valid reason as good as that one. Any ideas?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,002
    Thanks
    583
    Thanked
    1,154
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default I want to move house, DH doesnt.....

    We sort of are, we love where we live for the convenience of it but financially we are treading water. Our problem is we can't agree on where to move to, DH moves job sites often and our current location is perfect for travel no matter where he goes. We feel stuck and unsure what to do but he shoots down all my location ideas so we continue to tread water. Sorry not much help really.

    What is it that your DH is reluctant the most about?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,964
    Thanks
    1,934
    Thanked
    1,490
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by GirlsRock View Post
    Ha ha, oh god, that is far too extreme an option for me to even consider. Hmmm, I need a valid reason as good as that one. Any ideas?
    It wasn't an option I considered, it just happened Seems I was 'meant to' get my way haha

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to DT75 For This Useful Post:

    GirlsRock  (01-11-2015)

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    on a sandy beach!
    Posts
    6,443
    Thanks
    338
    Thanked
    2,224
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Considering I know the area you live

    What about rent a smaller house to see if you like it?

    I want to move interstate and DH doesn't so bit different

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    243
    Thanks
    88
    Thanked
    119
    Reviews
    0
    I am sort of in a similar position...except our house is too small for us & needs a lot doing to it. I want to just up & leave now whereas DP wants to take a couple of years to fix it up a bit before moving on. The main reason I want to move is because the yard is hopeless, uneven and mostly concrete. I can't just send DD to play out there happily. All I want is a flat house that opens out onto a flat yard really, but it looks like I'll have to wait! Financially it makes more sense to wait, DD gets outdoor time at day care and at my mums, plus I take her to parks when I can. Not hugely helpful to you But just letting you know I can relate!

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to amcyus For This Useful Post:

    GirlsRock  (01-11-2015)

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney, NSW
    Posts
    4,087
    Thanks
    1,466
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I am pretty much in the same predicament. DH bought this house before I came along and I've been busting at the seams to buy "our" home together. I've never felt that this was "my" home. We have no mortgage and DH refuses to ever have a mortgage again so upsizing is next to impossible.
    Oh the fights we've had and the tears that have been shed.
    DH gives me 95% of what I want but when he digs his heels in, there is no winning that argument. His argument is that we don't need more room, we're in a great area and we need to save the money we'll need to upgrade.
    I had to be ok with staying here. It took time and a lot of grieving but what choice did I have? Like they say, if you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, then change how you feel about it.
    Probably not what you wanted to hear op, sorry 😒

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    6,901
    Thanks
    4,791
    Thanked
    4,233
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by GirlsRock View Post
    Ha ha, oh god, that is far too extreme an option for me to even consider. Hmmm, I need a valid reason as good as that one. Any ideas?
    just say downsizing would free up some of the equity currently tied up in your too-big house. once you've accessed those funds, think of the possibilities. what floats his boat? new car, new boat, new gadgets, fab vacay for you and him and your girls?sell it to him. he might not go for it overnight but once the cogs get going and he warms up to the idea of the extra $$$$$ at his disposal, he'll surely go for it.

    if that doesn't work, just be honest and tell him what you've told us? sounds like a pretty legit reason to want to move. I'd hate to live on a main road and with two kids, it'd be nice to be in a quiet street where you feel safe having them play out the front. what's wrong with that?

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,182
    Thanks
    1,622
    Thanked
    2,171
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    OP, if you're staying in the same suburb will your ideal actually happen? (Kids playing in the street, friendly neighbours etc).

    We just moved from the outer suburbs, lots of new estates, soooo many kids (the enrollment at the government primary schools in just that suburb would be close to 5000). We were on a court end and lived there for almost 2 years. We were always friendly but barely knew our neighbours, even in a court end it wasn't safe to let 7yo DD play out the front as there just wasn't the attitude of everyone looking out for everyone else - plus our neighbour had a teenage son and his mates on their Ps would hoon around the blind corner. In walks you would see kids playing in some courts but they would have an adult/teenage sibling out with them.

    We've moved to a country town about 20 min out from the outer suburbs and we've not been here a month and already know most of our neighbours by name, will catch up for a drink or stop to chat with a couple of them and DD has made a friend a few doors down. We're on a through street with no footpaths but very wide nature strips/verge and I feel totally safe with DD out the front.

    So for us, the quiet court in the burbs did not provide the sort of environment we had hoped for.

    I would be very hesitant going into a new build with those expectations as you have no idea who your neighbours will be.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 181
    Last Post: 23-07-2015, 12:38
  2. How do I get over this & move on?
    By Snooze in forum Pregnancy Loss Support
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-05-2015, 13:12
  3. Partner working long hours & doesnt see baby during the week?
    By heartstringz in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 02-04-2015, 18:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Hills Swimming
Swim with your friends and you will all get a 33% discount!* We have programs to suit all ages and abilities, with small classes held in our warm indoor 25 metre pool. Highly qualified teachers, and award winning programs. *conditions apply
featured supporter
Pea Pods Reusable Nappies
Pea Pods are the smart choice when it comes to choosing what's best for you, your baby and the environment. Affordable and simple to use, Pea Pods keep your baby dry & happy. Visit our website to find your nearest stockist or order online.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!