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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    Interesting thread, something I've personally struggled with too. I'm 33 now. Don't feel it and don't look it (if I say so myself). I have a 4 month old baby and in many ways I feel way too young and on the other hand too old to be doing this. If that makes sense at all.
    I had a real thing about turning 30, just that psychological feeling of entering another decade and feeling that life was ticking away.
    I did a huge amount in my 20s. I changed so much in that decade. Married at 20, divorced at 24, tons of partying and irresponsibility, studying, climbing up in my career, married again at 29. I have pangs of feeling like that old me has slipped away and I panic a bit as I had some truly amazing carefree fun in my mid-20s especially. Single, financially ok, confident and independent. But then I ask myself what is it that I am missing about that time. I actually like myself as a person more now. I have a great life. I'm less image conscious and less materialistic and have an amazing DH and my adorable baby girl. But for me I feel like I blend in to the background now whereas in my younger days I felt like I stood out from the crowd and used to be noticed and I liked that. I talk myself through that though and when I put a bit of effort in I still scrub up ok but not like I did 5-10 years and15kg ago lol. It's just something I need to accept I'm not 25 anymore and yeah it was fun at the time but I have an even better life now and this lifestyle has longevity, my younger lifestyle was time-limited.
    So what do I do for fun? Big, long adventurous holidays are my fave. Looking forward to taking our baby girl on some amazing adventures over the coming years. Nice dinners out. Nice dinners at home! Keeping my house nice, gardening, enjoying a nice glass of wine at the end of a big day. Parties at friends instead of nightclubs.
    It is still possible to have a huge amount of fun as a 'proper' adult. Life has changed and will continue to change. Doesn't mean it's changing in a bad way, it's just different and sometimes it's even better.
    The upside to ageing for me is most definitely the different perspective I've developed in the past 5 years. I love that I feel I don't have to look or act a certain way to fit in. I could care less now if I fit in or not 😂 I've also weeded out people from my life who just weren't worth my effort. My circle is smaller but more meaningful. I had a close relative die this year, she was the same age as me. Life is so short. I hope I have the privilege of getting really really old 😊
    totally get the not standing out bit. I've noticed it as I've gotten older, maybe I just blend in more or maybe I'm just ok with blending in more and don't go out of my way to make such an effort to stand out/get attention.

    I know what you mean about feeling like you've lost that part of yourself that used to be fun/carefree too.

  2. #22
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    I love this thread. Can relate to so much of it.

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    Adoralicious  (31-10-2015),babyno1onboard  (31-10-2015),deku  (01-11-2015)

  4. #23
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    I'm 30, have 4 children (9, 7, 5, 3) and deal with ageing by looking forward to my "adult" life.

    I've just finished my 2nd year of Uni with 2 more years to go, then I will FINALLY have my own career path, we will have more money (I've always been a SAHM), I'll have adult children when I'm in my 40s and can wine, dine and travel and just do ALL of things I haven't yet done because I was busy having and raising small children!

    But like Harvs, I don't at all feel my age, and don't feel as though I fit that stereotyped 30something mother.

  5. #24
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    I'm 38 and sometimes I feel every part of it, but in general I don't feel old...I have always been told that I look younger than my actual age, so I guess I cling onto that lol. My partner is 6 years younger than me and does crack the nanna jokes but I know he doesn't think I look old lol. I didn't ever think I would be pregnant at 38, but here I am. I don't want to get old...I am quite scared of aging to be honest.

  6. #25
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    Default How do you cope with aging?

    I turned 30 this year and I thought it would bother me but honestly it didn't. My 20's were good but it was a decade of figuring myself out, finding out who I am, studying and trialling different jobs. Now that I've hit 30 I know who I am, what i want, what's worth my time and how to get it (most of the time!). I bought a house at 21 so that "daily grind" has been a part of my life for a long time, having a kid didn't change that aspect for us. We have a decent amount of financial freedom which we are taking advantage of now, so that's a huge plus to getting older.

    So for fun? we travel (we travelled a lot in our 20's & can't wait to get back into it) and we are planning on doing a lot of travel with our kids. Our first family holiday is in jan, can't wait for that.

    We are making inroads to getting our dream home which has been a long time coming (I'm so excited for this!, I'm being a huge goob researching and reading building forums). We eat out a lot, get coffees and cakes, take ds to heaps of activities and fun things, and for me that rocks way more than wearing short skirts and heels trying to find a taxi at 4am in the cold!

    All of our friends are coupled up with kids, so we have kid free catch ups as much as we can too. We've planned a huge kid free pre-nye party at our place which is gonna rock! Cannot wait!

    On other nights, dh and I crack open a bottle, watch a movie or binge a TV series and get some takeaway once ds is in bed.

    However I could do without the wrinkles, and am gunning for a boob lift once I've finished with kids 😉
    Last edited by Pearlygirl; 31-10-2015 at 21:40.

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  8. #26
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    I had my 30th birthday last week and it didn't faze me. I had my meltdown at 27. I finally know what I want to do career wise and next year my family will finally be complete, albeit much smaller than we ever paned. I live in a different country to ALL my friends and family so I leave the dancing all night and watching the sun rise for when I see them. It makes it all worth while.

  9. #27
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    I'm 37 and my life gets better the older I get, in terms of being comfortable within my own skin and making better choices which in turn have a positive impact on my happiness.

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  11. #28
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    Love all your responses, thank you! And yes, you do all have a very good point that getting old is certainly better than the alternative. I just wish time weren't so annoyingly linear!

    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    how old are you deku?
    29, which I know is hardly over the hill yet But I feel like I skipped the last few years of my 20s and jumped straight into the "30s and settled down and raising children" phase of life.

    Quote Originally Posted by Adoralicious View Post
    It sounds like it's not so much ageing that is getting you down as the lack of freedom and time to yourself?
    That certainly is a factor but the more I think about it, I think it's really the loss of innocence and hope and optimism and sense of excitement and possibilities about life that I miss. I know I'll have the time and freedom to do a few of the things I miss again when the children are grown up, but I don't think I'll ever be free of the burden of "real life".

    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    I think in our 30s everyone just switches to dinner parties and drinking too much at each other's houses rather than going out.
    ha, this made me laugh!

    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    totally get the not standing out bit. I've noticed it as I've gotten older, maybe I just blend in more or maybe I'm just ok with blending in more and don't go out of my way to make such an effort to stand out/get attention.
    Yeah I feel like I've become a bit of a boring conformist too, like I don't have the energy to be different or 'fight the power!' anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pearlygirl View Post
    My 20's were good but it was a decade of figuring myself out, finding out who I am, studying and trialling different jobs. Now that I've hit 30 I know who I am, what i want, what's worth my time and how to get it (most of the time!).
    That sounds great! Haha, as you know, I'm still doing my PhD so have no idea about my future career or 'what I'm going to be when I grow up'

    For the record, I do have a good life now and get plenty of enjoyment from home and family. But I still unhealthily long for the alternative timeline where I never got pregnant, had a couple more fun and wild years, and let my 20s gently fade out instead of being abruptly cut short.

    I also have a whole other related thread about how the hell do you have a s3x life once married with children but I'll save that one for another day
    Last edited by deku; 01-11-2015 at 13:30.

  12. #29
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    I make a conscious choice to acknowledge that I am blessed to be ageing, because the alternative is far worse.

    But aside from that I don't feel old, I am enjoying this phase in my life, it is different but not worse than what came before

  13. #30
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    I hated life as a youngster. I felt useless and pointless. I had no real friends and there was no meaning to my life. Most days I wished I didn't exist.
    Since having children I have a purpose. I still don't have really true close friends, but have a few friends made through the kids, and of course I have them, and they are my best friends.
    I was a very immature person right up until I had kids, I drank too much, I partied too much and I slept around too much. It didn't make me happy.
    There are things I miss, like my horses and karate, and being able to sleep off a hangover or get up and go out wherever I wanted and stay there until I was ready to come home - but I didn't appreciate any of those things until I didn't have them. They meant nothing. I know I'll be able to do all those things again one day when my kids are teens and it will mean so much more now.
    Like others have said, I barely feel like an adult. I'm nearly 35 years old, but I feel like I only became an adult 6 years ago, so I still feel weird about adulting. I'm great at responsibility as far as looking after my kids and working goes, but I'm still clueless when it comes to cooking and cleaning. I just never got to that bit.

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