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  1. #1
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    Default How do you cope with aging?

    Because as far as I can tell, it just really sucks and there doesn't seem to be any upsides. (I don't just mean the physical signs of aging, although wah! wrinkles and sags!)
    I know for me it was made worse by an unplanned pregnancy, so to me there was a very clear boundary between my free, adventurous, joyful youth, and my life now of responsibility and no fun. I'm still so sad about all the things I'll never get to do again, like dance all night at a rave, or have crazy casual s3x, or spontaneously travel, or binge on a video game and get totally immersed in it.
    The only 'upside' about growing up that comes to mind is the alleged increase in wisdom, but even this is kind of a downer. I feel like I have become more aware of the world and people, but this just means I'm more aware of how many people in the world are cruel and stupid and are essentially dooming humanity (I miss my previous naive optimism!). I also have much greater appreciation of my own place in the world, and my own mortality, and just how insignificant my life really is (in the context of the world, the universe, etc. I'm obviously still significant to my family :P)

    So wise aged ones, how do you stop your life devolving into an endless existential crisis once you hit 30 or so?
    What do you do for fun?
    Is it ever possible to experience pure euphoria and excitement again or will it forever be in the shadow of bills and housework and safety and other adult stuff?

  2. #2
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    Default How do you cope with aging?

    how old are you deku?

    how do I cope? honestly? I try not to think about it. it's pretty depressing when you really think on it.

    I console myself with the fact that I partied pretty hard during my younger years and had a lot of fun and a lot of sex 😂. there's really nothing I look back and think "oh I should've done that" except maybe travel. but my dh and I have done a fair bit together. I never had any money in my 20s as it was always spent on going out and partying and clothes! so I figure if there's no feeling of regret that I should've done more when I had the chance, then I can't really resent getting older as it's just natural to age and keep moving forward. I do look back at those days and get nostalgic sometimes.

    re the physical aspects of aging, well once I'm not pregnant I'm seriously considering Botox. my skin is ok but I'm just noticing more signs of aging and it bothers me. because I'm vain and insecure. there's other plastic surgery I'd also like to get but one step at a time 😂

    other than that, I just try to focus on the positive aspects of growing up/getting older. eg: feeling more secure in myself and who I am, feeling secure in a stable, loving r'ship, feeling financially secure and in control, feeling like I am basically on control of my life, on a good path and not having to make life decisions eg: what do I want to be when I grow up, what I I course should I do, etc.

    all up I feel I've gone from an irresponsible and quite immature person in their 20s to a responsible but still fun loving 35 year old. it's a bit disconcerting how quick the years seem to fly by but what can you go I guess.

    just embrace the life you have and work on the bits that can be improved and accept the bits that we're stuck with I guess!
    Last edited by turquoisecoast; 31-10-2015 at 11:52.

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  4. #3
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    wanted to add: I find the main downer of being older is no
    longer feeling that sense of "excitement". like I kind of feel about a lot of stuff "been there, done that" and I no longer get that sense of excitement before going out like what will happen tonight, who will I meet etc. I guess when you're in a stable long term relo and all your friends are coupled up as well, the night is only going to be pretty tame. but I'm ok with that, I'm not looking for wild thrills. but yeah, I rarely feel that sense of excitement about things anymore. that's the biggest downer I'd say. I also find being home more enjoyable than going out. I just feel more comfortable at home and now being pregnant, it's much less stressful and tiring than going out.

    for fun: drink wine, cook with hubby, watch a good film or doco or tv show, go for a nice drive, go get lunch in a winery, doing spontaneous and unplanned little getaways, going interstate to visit my family.

    God how sad does that sound compared to my old life 😂
    but then 35 year olds who are still hanging out in the clubs and raving, well that's even sadder 😂

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    wanted to add: I find the main downer of being older is no
    longer feeling that sense of "excitement". like I kind of feel about a lot of stuff "been there, done that" and I no longer get that sense of excitement before going out like what will happen tonight, who will I meet etc. I guess when you're in a stable long term relo and all your friends are coupled up as well, the night is only going to be pretty tame. but I'm ok with that, I'm not looking for wild thrills. but yeah, I rarely feel that sense of excitement about things anymore. that's the biggest downer I'd say. I also find being home more enjoyable than going out. I just feel more comfortable at home and now being pregnant, it's much less stressful and tiring than going out.

    for fun: drink wine, cook with hubby, watch a good film or doco or tv show, go for a nice drive, go get lunch in a winery, doing spontaneous and unplanned little getaways, going interstate to visit my family.

    God how sad does that sound compared to my old life
    but then 35 year olds who are still hanging out in the clubs and raving, well that's even sadder
    Gosh, i totally get what you mean about loss of excitement. Sometimes the repetition gets to me so much and i'm only 29 and don't even have kids yet!

    I never got to do the clubbing thing or casual sex thing (casual sex isn't for me though so thankfully i'm okay with that part) and when i hear other people's wild stories it makes me sad because i have none of my own, but i think i've mostly come to terms with it because...well i have to, you know?

    And the wisdom. Oh boy does it suck when that wisdom develops from hindsight. Being young and stupid might not be so bad while you're young and stupid, but once you leave that phase the regret and "wtf" moments can hit you like a freight train.

    Plus i just got my first wrinkle. Fun times.

    Sorry, i haven't developed the wisdom of coping with it all yet, other than burying it when it gets a bit much. So i'm subbing.

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  7. #5
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    Excellent thread!
    Like you, I had an unplanned pregnancy that put a complete stop to my wild, carefree, single, smoking, drinking and all-night-dancing lifestyle and catapulted me in to responsible mummyhood and establishing a relationship and family life with DP.
    I'm not exactly overjoyed by the baby weight that is still hanging around, the stretch marks, grey hairs, wrinkles and blotchy skin but I also figure that I'm lucky to be growing old cos the alternative ain't so hot 😉.
    It sounds like it's not so much ageing that is getting you down as the lack of freedom and time to yourself?
    I tell myself that I won't have little babies forever. One day they will be teenagers who can binge-watch tv series with me and one day they'll even move out of home!!!

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    I agree, I totally miss the excitement of my younger years. And tbh I haven't entirely dealt with it. I miss having time to myself to do fun things. With work and 2 young kids I never make time for it. I do love having a good giggle with my kids though and I love our life and I'm more content with who I am. Just a bit more excitement would be wonderful. We've recently booked a holiday so I've got something to look forward to. Probably shouldn't be spending so much money but hey, you gotta live, right?

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    How do I cope with ageing? It's better than the alternate LOL!

    I was single and childless when I hit 30. For the year before, I freaked out about being 30. It seemed so old! But then I realised why. I had always thought by 30 I would be married with kids. And I wasn't. And no where near close to it! Once I realised that, I felt better about it and got over my "turning 30 crisis"

    I'm now 42, and TBH, I don't feel that much different personality wise. My life is completely different though - married, 2 kids and that's what I've always wanted. Maybe it's because I had my kids in my mid-late 30's, but I feel settled and am happy.

    I've looked after my skin, so don't think I look that old, and people both online and IRL are often surprised I'm over 40 and think I'm in my mid 30's. I'm heavier than I'd like but that my own fault and I do have some problems with my joints because of past injuries. But on the whole, I'm happy to be where I am at my age.

    Fun for me is my family and doing the things I wish my parent had done with me. No close to my Mum who isn't maternal, so loving building a better relationship with my kids. As a couple, we go out to dinner every now and then, or movies etc. And I can't wait to read books again when DD starts school next year.

    I'm still "me". Age is just a number. I admire people like Kate Winslet who is my age and has no airbrushing clauses, and people like Helen Mirren who are ageing gracefully. She look fabulous and I think she's in her 70's!

    So embrace it ladies. It's really not that bad

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  11. #8
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    I don't think ageing is that bad at all but I was never all that wild & crazy growing up. I was the opposite actually - I'm probably wilder now than I was in my 20s! Actually I definitely am! I get excited about dancing - going out with friends, having a few drinks and a dance to a great pub band (sometimes the scantily clad young'uns can be a bit irritating but at least I'm way past trying to keep up with them appearance wise). Half the time I have to force myself to do it because I'm so tired all the time but I never regret it when I do Day trips, backyard bbqs with friends, trips to the beach, nights in with wine, takeaway & a movie...there's tons to love about life in your 30s

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  13. #9
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    I m not 30 yet but already freaking out. I m 26 and have three young kids and have just started my own business which is really draining. I matured at 18 since coming to Australia and never really went out. Never had casual sex- not that I d want it anyway. And never travelled whicg is one thing I do regret. I was partying from 14-18 in my homeland and had a wonderful time which I miss. Now I see people my age going out and getting all dolled up amd looking hot while I m mostly tired looking with bags under my eyes. But at 26 I have uni honours degree good job house a business and own the building. Most importantly I have dh who is amazing and three healthy kids and trying for our last. I recently had an awful dream I was dying of cancer and since I m all anxious and really want to live !!plan is to hit the gym, learn how to use makeup and travel in my 40s. Just have to remind my self how blessed I am. Sometimes I do get sad seeing young good looking people on facebook having a good time partying or travelling..great topic to discuss.

  14. #10
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    I dont think ageing is that dependant of the age one is rather the stage of life one goes through if that makes sense
    I feel older than someone in their late 20s ir early 30s who is still single amd without kids..


 

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