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  1. #21
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    His behaviour and the way he speaks to you is not okay. His reply about, 'okay fine, I'll celebrate your birthday...' really got my back up on your behalf. He sounds like a petulant toddler.

    This is no partnership. I'm so sorry that on top of everything else you're dealing with such a jerk.

  2. #22
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    I'm going to be blunt here and say why haven't you left him already?

    Have you gone to counselling yet?

  3. #23
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    He is a selfish prick! I would be leaving him home and heading out with friends.

  4. #24
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    Dump the 'man'. Buy the dress. Dance with friends.

    SA, I've read a lot of your posts about the things you're going through. Your husband is supposed to be a support, a loving protector of the family and his wife, a careful considerate man who loves his family! You know what your husband is so there is no point me telling you.

    You deserve happiness. You're better off without him.

  5. #25
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    what would I do ,?? this would not even be a point of discussion. family first, getting drunk with mates is not even on the list. what if there is some reason you are both needed with the child having surgery. ?? im sorry, but there is no way I would allow this to happen. hugs, marie.

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  7. #26
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    Honestly? I think to him you're just the wife that stays home and does the sh1t he can't be bothered doing or the things he thinks he's above doing. He doesn't care about you and I think it's about time you realise you can do better.

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  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopeful1986 View Post
    Honestly? I think to him you're just the wife that stays home and does the sh1t he can't be bothered doing or the things he thinks he's above doing. He doesn't care about you and I think it's about time you realise you can do better.
    Boldly worded but I know it's intended to give you a proverbial shake rather than be mean. I agree with Hopeful.

    You get one life SA, one chance to live that life. Enjoy it.

  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Boldly worded but I know it's intended to give you a proverbial shake rather than be mean. I agree with Hopeful.
    Maybe so, but I think it's important to remember that OP didn't ask everyone's opinions on whether she should stay with her husband. She asked who would be upset in a certain scenario.

    It can be really hard when hordes of people are saying you should leave someone, or they'd never put up with that, or this guy is treating you like sh!t. No matter how much concern there is or how well-meaning the sentiment is. It can damage your self esteem which may already be fragile, or else can make you defensive or even feel guilty that other people are bad mouthing your husband. It did for me, anyway.

    Anyway, just my two cents :-)

    Sorry for derailing OP.

    Fwiw I would have expected my husband to decline the head wetting thing straight away knowing it was your birthday, or, if it was really important to him that he attend to actively find another time and a great way to celebrate your birthday in style. I wouldn't want him there under duress and would go out on my own with friends instead. Maybe I'd need a few outings to get over it. And maybe some online shopping x

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  12. #29
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    Default How would you feel if:

    Not ok.

    Not bc of bday, but just the few family things that you have going on and the expectation thAt it's ok to go out.

    Not a chance in hell my DH would be allowed to go.

    This does seem to happen lots to you, I remember u saying he went on a surfing trip or something similar at a bad time.

    He sounds like he still thinks he's single without a care in the world. Time to grow up.

    Don't give in on this. He'll just do it again and again.
    Last edited by misho; 30-10-2015 at 17:47.

  13. #30
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    There's really no reason he can't do both, and I'm surprised he hasn't suggested it.


 

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