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  1. #21
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    I agree you need to limit the time with this couple, and absolutely stop the uncontrolled amount of alcohol that seems to be always there when they are around. You need to talk with your hubby when he is sober and properly listening to you, make sure he is clear about the behaviour that he has not witnessed, and how you are feeling uncomfortable around this bloke. I think this friendship has run its course, and should be ended, or at least curtailed. marie.

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  3. #22
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    If you still want to be friends with them, get rid of all the alcohol in ur house before they arrive.

    Secondly don't wait for your hubby to tell the guy to stop, say it to him yourself when they first arrive. Offer them a non alcoholic drink or arrival and then say it to him 'please understand there is to be no touchy feely behaviour in the house'.

    Also don't tell them the truth about ur plans or DYI projects! If she rings and asks what you're doing, say that you're out and that life is boring, not much going on.

    Or I have an even better idea.. Just block her on the telephone when she calls. Then u don't have to deal with her.

    Anyone who gangs up on you in arguments with your husband is not a good friend. I would have told them to mind their own business.

    Good luck.

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    ash17  (28-10-2015)

  5. #23
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    Default Friendships - boundaries - respect and inappropriate behaviour in front of my...

    It sounds like everyone in this situation needs to draw some boundaries.

    If your husband doesn't want to drink with the other man he doesn't have to. If he does - then that's a difference of opinion that you (as a married/partnered couple) need to sort out.

    If you don't want drinking parties in your house then say that .... and if people still pull put a bottle of grog ask them to leave.

    If you want people out of your house by 5pm then say that when you invite them over, reiterate that when they arrive and open the door and say it's time to leave when 5pm eventually comes around.

    If your female friend doesn't want her hubby groping her she needs to tell him to stop. If she doesn't mind he groping then that's her prerogative - however if it happens in your house and you don't want it to you need to tell them to leave.

    Bottom line if you don't won't them around don't let them in your front door and don't return their call. It sounds that simple because it is.
    Last edited by VicPark; 28-10-2015 at 16:21.

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  7. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by ash17 View Post
    And in all this time during all this abuse, I have never uttered a bad word to her or anger.
    .
    And this is where a key problem lies. If you continue to tolerate **** in your life, **** will continue to come your way.

    You have kids. You need to speak up about unacceptable behavior before something happens that more deeply impacts your kids (at which point authorities will probably ask 'why didn't the parents stop this before now... ? There were certainly more than enough indications to suggest things would go pear-shaped...").

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  9. #25
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    Thank you everyone.
    I do not want these kind of "friends" no and have yet to see how I will react if they find a way into my home via my husband.
    There will definitely be a confrontation. Wish me luck!

    I have already spoken to my husband. He says nothing as he is probably feeling embarrassed and guilty for enabling the behaviour and taking blame and feeling the need to Protect them. Yes I am aware he is protecting the wrong ppl.

    And he has been the alcohol provider feeling the need to compensate for al they did. And it has gone too far.

    Even if we met in a pub (I don't plan on meeting them anywhere, just explaining that alcohol isn't the problem, it's his lack of respect, cos he drinks just as much around other ppl but keeps his behaviour in check when he knows better) there is an unlimited supply of alcohol as I was saying in a pub, that doesn't warrant anyone behaving inappropriately after 1 glass or 10 glasses with another individual against there will and in front of a child is a violation.

    At the end of the day, I cannot force anyone to respect me, my home and my babies. But I definitely plan on stopping them from disrespecting.

    Much love to you all for your help.

  10. #26
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    Yes I am aware. I am speaking up and cutting off now.

  11. #27
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    I'd be rid of them. To me once boundries are crossed and not respected then that's it. What will it be next? no point crying when it's too late. Be rid of the rubbish in your life because life is too short to waste on people like that.

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    ash17  (28-10-2015)

  13. #28
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    I don't know you and even I would have helped you. Stop feeling like you owe them for helping you once. They then blocked you!! Clearly they want the friendship on their terms.

    Bigger ramifications: your daughter is seeing the woman say no and the guy keep going and everyone's ok with that. You can't let her think that's ok.

    Guys rely on the women to organise everything. Let your DH know you don't want them in your home but he's welcome to catch up with them in his free time elsewhere without you. It will never happen

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