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  1. #1
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    Default How can I have been so irresponsible to be in this situation again?

    I am posting under an assumed user name out of a horrible sense of embarrassment and guilt as well as a desire for privacy as I reveal more than I usually do on bH. 8 months ago DH and I made the very difficult decision to terminate a pregnancy. We have two beautiful daughters and while I, like many women, have that occasional twinge of desire for another baby, for our family it feels right that we are four. There were many factors, including my DH's recent cancer diagnosis, that contributed to our final decision and it was a heart-wrenching one to make but in the end I felt at peace with the road we had chosen.

    Fast forward 8 months and I find myself potentially in the same situation again - how can we have let this happen knowing what it is like to face the sadness, guilt and horrible burden of an unwanted choice? We are in our late 30s and financially fairly stable however DH is terminally ill. AF is due in 2 days but I have so many of the familiar symptoms - nausea, fatigue, sore boobs, weeing at night - that I am heavy with anxiety and dread.

    The last 12 months have been horrible but we have been strong. Now though I can't bring myself to face this and I don't know how I'm going to tell DH. I've tried one HPT for a BFN but I know that its realistically too early to have a positive result.


    Bugger, bugger, bugger! TIA for any words of wisdom and non-judgy advice.

  2. #2
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    No advice sorry. Please try not to be too hard on yourself though. You don't know for sure yet, wait until you have facts, not assumptions and tackle each hurdle as it comes.

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    2plus2makesnotsure  (21-10-2015)

  4. #3
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    I want to send you strength and courage to face what ever is in the future. you have many things that are 'possible' outcomes. stay true to yourself. hugs, marie.

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    2plus2makesnotsure  (21-10-2015)

  6. #4
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    I couldn't read and not reply, even though I don't have any advice, just wanted to say that reading your post made me cry. I'm so very sorry that your DH is terminally ill, no words, how devastating. Sending strength, I hope you're Ok x

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    2plus2makesnotsure  (21-10-2015)

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    Don't stress until you know for sure, hopefully it's a false alarm xox

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    2plus2makesnotsure  (21-10-2015)

  10. #6
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    So sorry you are going through this difficult decision especially with your DH terminally ill.
    Give it a few days to process and actually find out if you are in fact pregnant before you make and decisions. X

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    2plus2makesnotsure  (21-10-2015)

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    If you've taken any kind of precautions and this has still happened, it's not your fault for being irresponsible. You can't help being fertile any more than others can help being infertile.
    Can you get a blood test asap to actually confirm the pregnancy? If you're only 2 days from AF, then HPTs should be quite reliable.

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    2plus2makesnotsure  (21-10-2015)

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    I couldn't read and run, reading this brought a tear to my eye. I just wanted to offer hugs and send you some strength for what lies ahead. Please don't beat yourself up. If you are pregnant, then what's happened has happened, no amount of beating yourself up is going to reverse the situation, so just go easy on yourself. Firstly, wait and see if you are pregnant, and if you are, make the best decision for your family. Only you and your DH will know what that is.

    Hugs xx

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    2plus2makesnotsure  (21-10-2015)

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    Hugs. Don't get upset with yourself. You haven't got a BFP, so try not to stress too much. If you do get one, then deal with it.

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    2plus2makesnotsure  (21-10-2015)

  18. #10
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    Thanks everyone. The strength and support here is amazing as always. A blood test is a good idea but tbh I'm not sure I'm quite ready to face the real world with this possibility yet. I'll sleep on it and see what tomorrow brings. There is that nasty voice in my head saying this is what happens when you mess around with fate/nature/destiny.......totally ridiculious and not the way I usually view the world but we have been in a weird space of thinking and talking about life and death and everything in-between lately and so the grief and anger about DH's prognosis is making it so hard to stay calm and not panic.

  19. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to 2plus2makesnotsure For This Useful Post:

    ash17  (28-10-2015),BabyG4  (21-10-2015)


 

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