Sorry for the long post.
i am having some issues with my parents. I love them and they have always been good to me but lately I am feeling quite frustrated with them and not sure how to handle.
Mum & dad are in early 60s, both still working. They have always struggled financially, I think because my dad's building business goes through really quiet periods where he earns nothing at all, and mum is a hairdresser and works for very little. she has also worked for some dodgy companies that have never paid her super etc. They've been in their respective professions since they were 15, both very traditional in their values and beliefs, neither have much business sense, are uneducated, no interest in technology (mum can't even read her emails without help, insists I print out photos of DS rather than email or text her as she can't figure out texting either).
Anyway, they've been doing it tough lately and I can see it's taking its toll on their health and their relationship. They won't take advice, won't listen or be open to suggestion. They treat my brother and I (both in our 30s) like children despite the fact we're both doing much better than they have ever done (financially speaking). They hide things from us (like I found out through a family friend that mum has high BP and has been seeing GP a lot, and recently they put their house of 18 years on the market without mentioning it). When questioned they act like we're too young to understand, they know better, etc and sometimes come across like they are bitter because we earn more money. I feel like I have done something wrong by working hard and being successful (not that we are by any means rich or anything).
To make matters worse because of all this my mum is refusing to discuss Christmas plans, SIL and I tried to make it easy by suggesting we eat out this Christmas, thus reducing stress and allowing us to spend time together as a family rather than running around like headless chooks all day. My mum bawked at the suggestion and asked please don't organise anything, it's just another day don't make a big deal of it. Sorry mum, but our children think it's a huge day and we all think it should be celebrated with family! I hosted Christmas for 18 last year, despite having a miscarriage a week earlier, and I really don't want to host again as I will be 30+ wks pregnant and not in a mood for any fuss.
Anyway not sure what my point is exactly but what should i do? I don't want to add any unnecessary stress by making a scene but I'm on the edge. Is this what parents do when they get old?! Also worried about them breaking up or having a heart attack or something, the tension between them is enormous.