I'm not sure if I should have created a new post or what but I'm new to all of this and thought maybe this would be a the best place to start.
First I'm 34wks (little boy on the way) and I'm a FTM.
Being predisposition to type 2 diabetes in my family (all late life), despite being young, healthy and active, my doctor decided testing for GD would be wise.
I've had a GTT twice, once at 24wks (all clear, no early signs) second at the usual 28wks.. this was where it all got interesting. Based on the two lots of diagnosing results, one I did have GD (the older outdated one that my doctor still seems to go by) but the other (being ADIPS which all diabetes nurses go by) I was not close to have GD. SO hence forth, the local health centre diabetes nurse said she didn't want to bother with me essentially (she put it in a much nicer way). She discussed this with my doctor (which i should say is my family dr so I go to a private clinic) and he agreed.
At an appointment a few weeks later with him, he test my BGL, it came back as 8.3 - but to put it all into perspective, I'd eaten sultana bran about 45 mins before that (hello sugar), had been up for an hour and suffered a terrible nights sleep due to acid reflux and heart burn. He essentially freaked out, found a glucose monitor for me to borrow from the clinic and told me to track my BGL for a week, because we wouldnt want baby to be born expecting all this sugar.
At that point I was offended, not once has he ever asked about my diet, so to essentially state I only consume sugar and my son would hence suffer when he comes out, made me really angry and upset.
But in the person I am, I smiled, walked out of his office and proceeded to tell DH that I was going to show him.
So I created a spread sheet, tested four times a day and wrote down exactly what I ate. With a few hiccups of course because in the end I didn't really understand how carbs and sugars effect each other (due to the fact he just gave me a glucose monitor and like 10 test strips, I didn't get a chance to even see the clinics diabetes nurse because 'she's on family leave currently' and nor was I given a chance to talk to a dietitian about what does what in terms of BGLs. Not to mention having to fork out $60 for more test strips because I'm not considered GD so I wasn't signed up to Diabetes Australia to receive cheaper prices). So over my week I had maybe two high numbers but otherwise I stayed below the recommended numbers for GD.
Returned to the dr a week later, to which his response was, 'they look good did doing this change your diet? To which my response was 'no, I've not changed anything'. He gave me a look of surprise. Glancing over my spreadsheet again he's like 'there is a few high numbers (to which I had written little notes stating why that would be so), hmm maybe you should keep testing and if you get ones over 7 after two hours you should be coming back to see me straight away'. So I was less than impressed.
We proceeded with the usual appointment, weighing me, measuring my fundal height etc. To which he then looks back over the last few weeks and states i haven't put on any weight and my fundal isnt really reading what it should. So he tells me to book an ultrasound straight away because there may be lack of growth.
My thoughts to my lack of weight gain was well, maybe if I didn't have to essentially give up everything besides protein and vegetables then maybe I'd have put some weight on over the last 3 weeks. Because most of what I've given up in my diet that I know effects my BGL is natural sugar, ie fruit. Despite how much exercise I do (with the limited time I have still being at work and trying to walk 30 mins a day when pregnant and lacking in energy when you don't sleep well), it still made my numbers go crazy.
So back on track from my rambling.
We had the ultrasound and everything is measuring perfectly normal for his gestational age, roughly weighing 2.3kg, the sonographer said it's most likely him putting his head down which cause my fundal height to be off and the fact I do have a longer torso, so he's just hiding (because my bump is not really that big compared to most ladies at 34wks). Also during the ultrasound, the sonographer said that he couldn't even see any of the signs that GD might be or might have affected the baby, that he is essentially perfectly healthy.
The thought that my baby is fine, that he's growing perfectly takes that stress/concern off me.
But I'm really struggling with the fact of the monitoring my dr is making me do. I'm worried the days when I can't get out and exercise because I'm exhausted that I'm doing something wrong. I'm constantly worried about everything I eat, how it will effect my BGL, that if I have that tub of yogurt it will blow my numbers out. What if I get over 7 and I have to go back to my dr, what if my numbers get higher (because the last few morning ones have been a bit higher than normal, which yes is probably due to stress and lack of sleep), I'm freaking out to the fact of what if he wants to put me on insulin, which means I'm considered a high risk pregnancy and have to change hospitals because the one in my town is only for low risk and the next two possible ones I'd have to go to are 40mins away. (yes I'm a major worrier).
On top of it all my birthday is coming up and my DH usually takes me out for a nice dinner, but this year I don't even want to because whats the point if it's going to send my BGL through the roof. What is the point of celebrating when I can't even have what I want.
I've had two family birthdays over the last two weeks and I just had to sit there whilst everyone ate cake and enjoyed the party. Even my diabete dad could enjoy some cake.
My friend is making all this nice food for my baby shower in a few weeks and I can't even get excited because I'll just have to stare at it.
I feel like a toddler saying this but it all just isn't fair.
I just want to turn around to the dr and ask why do I have to keep doing this, why when it's causing me so much stress that I feel sick to the stomach and make me just want to burst into tears all the time.
I'd be fine if I had the information from the dietitian, the support from the diabetes nurse, that if I actually had GD but I've got none of that because I'm not classified GD.
I'm not sure what I wanted to achieve from this post, I guess I just wanted somewhere to vent, somewhere to have someone else maybe even be in the same boat. As much as DH is supportive, I know it's hard for him to deal with me ranting and being upset about it so often but he's not the one going through it, even though he's stopped eating as much sugar himself, he still has the option where as I don't.
Well, thanks to who ever took the time to read my long rant post. Hope I didn't waste too much of your time haha.