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  1. #21
    Allymumtobe's Avatar
    Allymumtobe is offline Winner 2012 - Most Optimistic Poster
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    Thanks ladies. You are all always so kind to me.

    I have had most of the testing mentioned above. I just have the worlds most amazingly sh*tty luck.

    Im so tired. Scared of just repeatedly being in the sub zero space.

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    FirstTimeMummy2012  (21-10-2015)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Allymumtobe View Post
    Thanks ladies. You are all always so kind to me.

    I have had most of the testing mentioned above. I just have the worlds most amazingly sh*tty luck.

    Im so tired. Scared of just repeatedly being in the sub zero space.
    I really don't believe it's a case of luck or no luck. Something my obstetrician told me is that there is always a reason for recurrent pregnancy losses. Always. No exceptions. It's just finding what that factor is.
    I'm sorry you're so tired. I don't blame you one bit but I believe you will be a mother. You just need to push on because I have a feeling that the next one is your take home baby.

  4. #23
    Allymumtobe's Avatar
    Allymumtobe is offline Winner 2012 - Most Optimistic Poster
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    Each baby has had its own reason for why I lost it. They just happen to be different reasons

  5. #24
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    Oh Ally

    I am so sorry that you have lost this baby, I have no advice, no words of wisdom. I have followed your story since Angus and it just breaks my heart that you haven't got a baby in your arms, it really does, it's just unfair and cruel. Huge hugs darling xxxxxxxxx

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  7. #25
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    Couldn't read and not leave a post to say I'm sorry Ally xx I don't have any advice but I do know how it feels to question yourself and higher beings but also that scared feeling of having to go again without no surety of a bub to take home. It's so unfair. Good luck with your decision xx

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  9. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Allymumtobe View Post
    Maybe gods telling me im not capable of being a mother or worthy of the gift of being a mother or maybe im already secretly dying and he doesn't want me to leave behind any beautiful babies that can't call their mummy to help them.

    I feel like there has to be something to make this all right
    No way, I don't believe this for a second! First of all, you're not dying and second of all, you are going to be an AMAZING mother to your take home baby. I know this because you are already an amazing mother to Angus and because I've watched you through each of your pregnancies doing everything you can to try and keep them.

    When you get a baby to take home, you will not take that baby for granted. You will have worked so hard to get them and you will love them and care for them every day.

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  11. #27
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    SpotTheOcelot is offline 'Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.'
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    I'm not sure if my story is any help but this is briefly my history:

    First pregnancy - TWINS. But sadly was told one was a disappearing twin so by week 8 that one was gone but we still had the other twin. ***Hearts broke when at 21 weeks he (Callum) was stillborn due to an incompetent cervix. So basically miscarriage at 8 weeks and stillborn at 21 weeks.

    Second pregnancy - Miscarriage at 5 weeks

    Third pregnancy - Chemical pregnancy at 4 weeks.

    Fourth pregnancy - Blighted Ovum, miscarriage and D&C at 7 weeks.

    Fifth pregnancy - baby girl, all was looking good until her growth slowed down and she (Elise) was stillborn at 28 weeks due to Trisomy 13.

    This was not about bad luck, there were issues with me and issues with the embryo, and I truly believe some no matter how perfect are just not meant to be with us.

    Somehow you keep finding the strength to carry on and move forward to achieve that dream. I am not posting to do a 'mine is worse than yours' ... this is your journey NOT mine. But I just hope you or anyone reading can take some form of strength from this.

    BUT the reality is we did get our take home baby, once we bit the bullet and had our last chance IVF round using PGD, in no means does this guarantee a successful pregnancy but it did mean we were not using endless abnormal embies.

    It took a lot of work and counselling for us both to realise we were not been punished, I am not a bad person and I could be a mum.

    Science gave us the chance to see what we were dealing with, that and hope.

    Our ONE normal embie was put back on my 43rd birthday ( age is not always an issue either) and she is now 10 months old... currently cleaning out our CD collection.


    xxxx

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  13. #28
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    I'm so glad you posted this spot. Your journey was epic xxx

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  15. #29
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    Default 5 losses and counting

    Ally, I'Ve only just caught up. I'm so, so sorry you've had to go through this again & endure yet another loss. It's totally reasonable that you are emotionally & mentally exhausted and at the end of yourself, you guys have been through so much... I hope this is ok & not too soon to mention, but If you feel able to face things & try IVF again I thought I'd post a link to Genea's PGD Assistance program (which you've probably heard of), which can help take some of the stress of financial factors off. I think from memory you're in Victoria & I'm not sure if there's anywhere offering anything like this down there but it could be worth looking into. We looked into it but weren't eligible due to our age (over 38) but it sounds like a fair eligibility criterion. Please be kind to yourself. Sending virtual hugs xx
    I hope it's ok to post this link

    http://www.genea.com.au/my-fertility...pgd-assistance
    Last edited by ertgirl; 26-11-2015 at 23:40.

  16. #30
    Allymumtobe's Avatar
    Allymumtobe is offline Winner 2012 - Most Optimistic Poster
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    So I guess an update is overdue. I finally had my follow up appointment with the OB.

    This baby had turners syndrome. And was another little girl.

    My OB told me that if I was 40 shed suggest I stop trying. However because I appear to carry pregnancies well egg donation would be a good step going forward. If my DH had a normal fertility level we could keep trying a few more years and possibly eventually get lucky. And of course to genetic testing on embryos. I don't really want to place a 10k bet on my 3/4 tested babies having bad genetics.

    Big sad.


 

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