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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling alone

    I don't know what, I'm not suicidal but I want to die, I have two young children it breaks my heart that I feel this way, knowing it would hurt them so much not having me around.
    I'm on medication which works a lot of the time, had been seeing a psychologist and having counseling but stopped because I ended up taking about the same issues everyone but none of her suggestions seemed to help. I have a lot of stress due to my step sons behaviour and the fact he's manipulated both his mum and dad into getting his own way. I feel like I can't talk to anyone and no one cares about me or what I've got to say. I feel completely forgotten about and know no one but my children and husband would care if I wasn't here.
    My step dad died last year and because the family and close friends think I'm 'strong' no one has bothered to check in to see if I'm ok (I've expressed to people that I'm struggling but it's been swept under the rug because other people are struggling more than me) which adds to the feeling that no one cares. I lost my nana Mother's Day this year and didn't bother telling anyone because I knew I'd get no support.
    I'm not sure why I'm posting this here, I just need to get it off my chest.

  2. #2
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    oh hun, big hugs to you. it sounds like you have a lot of stuff going on. that's crappy you have to be the "strong" one. even the strongest people need support!

    it's concerning to hear you say you want to die. have you discussed these feelings with your psych?

    please be vocal about how you're feeling and don't dismiss or bottle up these feelings. you matter, more than you might realise, to everyone. esp those kids whose entire world you are right now.

    please take care of yourself and stay safe xx

    ps bub hub is always hear to listen and give support xx

  3. #3
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    Default Feeling alone

    Oh love.... I feel for you feeling so alone in the world. I want you to know you're not invisible. You'd be missed more than you realise. It sounds like you're in a very fragile state at the moment and I'm not qualified to give you advice but I wanted to say I hope you find some extra happiness soon. Could you meet friends for a coffee date?? I find when I'm around people with good energy it rubs off on me. Take care xx

  4. #4
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    Sorry you are having a rough trot xx
    Can you get a referral for another psychologist? Sometimes it can take time to find one you gel with.

  5. #5
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    Thanks ladies. I've spoken to the psychiatrist and because there no suicidal thoughts or self harm or harm to my children they're not overly concerned. I'm not sure if a new psychiatrist will help. I've tried dealing with the issues I have myself but no one seems to listen.
    I just typed a huge response but couldn't even post it because it's just so much crap going on and I've spoken to everyone involved and they didn't listen so why should anyone else have to

  6. #6
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    Can I ask how clear you are being with those around you? Are you laying all the card on the table or just dropping hints and hoping they will pick up what you're trying to say. I find it hard to believe your family and claps friends wouldn't be there for you if they knew the extent of what you were going through. Some people are so busy with their lives and/or a little thick that they need everything spelled out to them.

  7. #7
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    No advice hun, just wanted to send you some virtual hugs. You are not invisible, you matter, people care about you. To your children you are the most important person in the world. I hope you can find some peace and happiness in your life soon xo

  8. #8
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    I've come straight out and told the people involved ie, dh, and my mum. When tried to voice him opinion about dss bio mum says that we bully her and that she carried him for 9 months, she should get to make the decisions and do what she wants, an example of that was telling dh off when we left him at cricket training and would be back in time to see him finish, but she lets him walk home from school another is we have a fb page made to share photos of dss because we only wanted family and close friends to see pics of the kids. She cracked it, but it's ok for her to have one.
    And with my mum I sad down and told her how I feel, she'll make plans with me or ask me to take her somewhere (she doesn't drive) and she'll hide it from my sister or if my sister finds out, she cancels the plans with me and goes with my sister. She said if she doesn't to that then my sister gets all ****ty with her and holds a grudge so she'd rather keep my sister happy otherwise mum doesn't get to see her grandkids very much, it didn't seem to matter how it made me feel because I'm the "strong" one. Mums said on quite a few occasions that I'm "strong" so she doesn't need to worry about me, once was even after I broke down in front of her.
    I've tried talking to my friends but I feel like a broken record because it's the same things over and over.
    I feel like because I'm not acting like a spoilt child no one cares about my feelings, but I just feel constantly rejected and alone

  9. #9
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    oh hun my heart breaks for you Sounds like your mum and sister are self centered. I wouldn't even waste my time with them to be honest, they are doing you no favours. I think it sounds like you need new friends. Don't think you sound like a broken record but sometimes you outgrow friends and need new ones that are on another level and can understand you - gosh i tell you what, if you were MY friend and you told me how you were feeling i would be greatly concerned and do all i could to help you/be your shoulder to cry on. I agree with VicPark - find another dr, there is one out there who will suit - it's a matter of finding them. xo

  10. #10
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    Big hugs. Being the strong one sucks. It's so hard to say things and get heard. I've never felt that I am strong - apparently others think I am. No one took what I said seriously until I became a blubbering snotty mess on the floor. Have you told your mum she needs to start worrying because you're feeling fragile and aren't coping, and her constant dismissal is making things worse?

    I agree that you should think about changing psychologists/psychiatrists. It seems bizarre to me that they aren't worried by the fact you want to die, just because you have no active suicidal thoughts.

    I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and that no one is taking what you say as seriously as they should. I'm more than happy to listen to anything you want to hash out and get off your chest. Either I the thread or via PM if you're more comfortable doing it that way. You're important. Your feelings and wellbeing matter.


 

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