So I will give you a quick run down - I have a 7 year old, my partner has a 3 year old (from our previous marriages) and unexpectedly but overjoyed we now have a 3 month old together.
We have 50/50 custody of our big boys and when it is all of us together - there is nothing but hostility and arguments between my partner and I.
He does not agree on a lot of my parenting, nor do I with his.
The struggle that we have at the moment is that his 3 year old refuses to walk and wants to be cuddled and held ALL THE TIME. If dad says no he will begin tantruming and crying and he will not stop. He could go hours and hours and no one is able to help settle him as he does not want a bar of anyone else but dad when he is in that state. My partner continually yells and screams - and then gives in.
The problem is (besides the fact that it's getting worse, because he knows he gets away with it) is he also won't let me or my son have any time with his dad and completely rules the roost as in dad sits next to me, dad carry me, no dad you are not aloud to hold mine or my sons hand etc.
Well we have a 3 month old and often my partner will be assisting and then he will continually have to drop whatever he is doing to attend to his son. This often means my son misses out on me because I always have to take over with our baby.
It causes huge issues. He gets defensive and thinks I am jealous of his son and says he needs to protect him. His son is babied by his whole family - but that's another whole different issue.
I know we are in a tough situation as for our big boys we feel guilty for our situation and often over compensate - but in my mind, things have changed, we have a baby that I need assistance with too and it's time for his so to learn to be a big boy and that he can tantrum but it won't matter.
Our relationship is detioriating rapidly because of this issue as every time we are together it's like my son and I are intruders and the outsiders and it annoys and frustrates me that I can't help but say a little comment.
I could go on and on as I'm just at the point of feeling like this isn't the relationship/family life I want to live.
Am I being selfish? I love his son and wish he would come to me but because he is babied by my partner and his mum he is so timid and under developed.
Ahhhh please give me some advice.