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  1. #641
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    I know your right @ceaserdust im a planner and organiser although i live in organised caos i like to know im doing it all really so i cant blame it on that one thing i didn't do. Its up to the divine universe. Thanks so much ladies

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  3. #642
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    Quote Originally Posted by infinity888 View Post
    @bib and @Blossom74 im just looking for that magic formula since i have the magic golden egg. Ive tried it all. Shopping resting going back to work and no luck. I haven't tried acupuncture pred aspirin combo though so maybe that will be my breakthrough. Just really nervous and scared about doing something wrong post transfer that will ruin my chances once again. Fx crossed i have a beautiful 8cell embryo for transfer tomorrow.

    I can tell you what I did if you like @Infinity. After transfer I went straight down the street to a nice restaurant and had a quiet lunch by myself. Then (since I was staying out of town) I checked into my motel and had a nap for about an hour and a half. Next I went to see a movie - a funny one so I could have a good laugh. I heard/read somewhere that laughter aids in implantation - not sure, but hey, I did implant if nothing else. Then back to the motel for dinner at their restaurant before heading to bed to watch movies until I fell asleep.

    As for what I didn't do - and these are just things I read, so no idea if they helped or not....

    No long hot showers - just lukewarm. No electric blankets all night. No sitting close to the fireplace for ages. All probably to do with what @BIB said about not cooking the emby. No foot massages - many of my pregnancy books mention that you shouldn't have the back of your feet/ankles massaged as they can stimulate contractions, and well, the risk is probably next to nothing but I wasn't chancing anything. I avoided any heavy lifting - DH was happy to help in that department. No going near the cat litter - under any circumstance (toxoplasmosis risk), and all the regular food things - no runny eggs, no soft cheese or shellfish etc. Oh, and as per my doctor's orders - yes, I could exercise but not to the point of breathlessness. As if!!!

    I ate lots - right from the start, as much healthy food as I could get into me. Lots of water - I made a conscious effort on that, and lots of sleep. I went to bed super early to make sure my body was not challenged in any way - I wanted to direct all my energy into baby-making. I also found things to do to alleviate stress - walking being one of them. I don't smoke or drink or do weirdy drugs, so that was fine. And I kept on top of my meds (multivitamins, clexane, solone etc) like my life depended on it.

    That's it. Yep, I was probably too paranoid about it, but I didn't (and still don't) care. I did manage to implant, and I know that I did everything in my power to keep that baby. I have no idea if any/all of my little ideas helped or not, but I'd do them all again given the chance


    ETA: @Infinity, remember that babies are still conceived during war time, in poverty, in situations where their Mothers have little to no food, in situations of domestic violence. All the silly stuff above was do-able for me, but at the end of the day a lot of it comes down to luck I think. It is destined to happen or its not. I am trying to trust that the universe has a plan ...

    Blossom
    Last edited by Blossom74; 25-10-2015 at 20:12.

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  5. #643
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    Oh! I forgot one more thing!

    When I was leaving the clinic after my transfer, I said to the Nurse "What if the emby falls out while I'm walking?"

    She said "You would be surprised to see the number of women who walk out of here with their legs crossed who are worried about the same thing."

    Then she said something that made me feel a whole lot better....

    "When you think of your emby being inside the uterus, don't think empty, vacuous space. Think peanut butter sandwich! It ain't going anywhere!"

    I actually felt better about things after that

    Blossom

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  7. #644
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    My understanding is the cervix can be very tightly closed in some women who have never had children before.


    Hmmm. Well, apparently mine was a wide open door!


    Blossom

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  9. #645
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    I hope I didn't cook my emby I'd gone for a walk to get more HPTs and even though I walked slowly, I was a bit hot when I got home. cooled down under the fan once home. I think it dropped off later that night so maybe I did it was still there (darker line) when I tested after arriving home with the new box of tests, so it might have taken some time. I have to keep thinking it must have had a problem so I don't start the blame game

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  11. #646
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    Quote Originally Posted by winsor View Post
    I hope I didn't cook my emby I'd gone for a walk to get more HPTs and even though I walked slowly, I was a bit hot when I got home. cooled down under the fan once home. I think it dropped off later that night so maybe I did it was still there (darker line) when I tested after arriving home with the new box of tests, so it might have taken some time. I have to keep thinking it must have had a problem so I don't start the blame game


    Oh, no no no! It wasn't that you went for a walk love. I went for a walk every single day after my BFP - sometimes twice a day.

    When the books etc refer to the heat thing they are talking about heat in the extreme, for sustained periods. Like soaking in a spa bath for an hour, or cooking yourself in front of a raging fire, or having the electric blanket on high so you wake up in the night sweating.

    Definitely NOT going for a walk on a nice day.

    It was NOTHING you did love, I promise you. It's just like with me - it just wasn't meant to be just yet.

    I understand that it is easy to blame yourself when you have no other answer. God, how I understand that. I HATED myself after I found out my emby had died, for (can you believe this) not giving it a safe home.

    But it was nothing I did, and it was nothing you did either.

    I PROMISE you.

    Blossom

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  13. #647
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    thanks @Blossom74 xx
    the rational me knows you're right. plus women stay pregnant whilst living in deserts and hotter places than here. the irrational part of me has a voice that pipes up every now and then, questioning what happened.

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  15. #648
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    Quote Originally Posted by winsor View Post
    thanks @Blossom74 xx
    the rational me knows you're right. plus women stay pregnant whilst living in deserts and hotter places than here. the irrational part of me has a voice that pipes up every now and then, questioning what happened.

    That's 100% true love. And forget the desert - women get pregnant in the Australian summer and they walk around all the time - I've seen them!
    Your walk in the Spring sunshine would not have jeopardised anything.

    I get the self-doubt thing. I did a lot of "If only..." after my MC. I mean, I KNEW there was something wrong quite early in the piece, and yet I couldn't do anything to stop the inevitable.

    And sadly, that's just the thing, isn't it. In most of these cases there is simply no answer. It's nothing we did or didn't do. It just wasn't meant to be at that time. That's not to say it is NEVER meant to be though. You just have to have faith love, and what will be will be.


    Blossom

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  17. #649
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    yes, you're right not giving up hope just yet. thanks for your kind words.

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  19. #650
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    Quote Originally Posted by winsor View Post
    thanks @Blossom74 xx
    the rational me knows you're right. plus women stay pregnant whilst living in deserts and hotter places than here. the irrational part of me has a voice that pipes up every now and then, questioning what happened.
    You did nothing wrong Luv ok??? I agree with everything @ Blossom74 said.

    What happened was that the embryo was almost certainly abnormal in which case there was nothing you could or couldn't do to change itxoxo

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