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  1. #1
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    Default Worry about leaving toddler with anyone!!

    Ok so my 15mth old is home this morn with dad and 2 older siblings as I have to go to dr apt. I'm more nervous about her being ok than having a cancer check up!!! He's never had to look after all 3 for more than 20mins but what I'm mostly nervous about is all the hazards as he's just so blaze. Pool. Road accessible from garden. And the fact his parents are staying makes me more nervous as I feel the more grown ups around the less responsible they are as no one is actively watching her all the time. Argh am I totally mental??? Not sure I have admitted this before even on bub hub. Sounds like I don't trust my Dp with his own child but he's just so relaxed and never seems aware of dangers - which I am of course the other end and too aware and anxious...

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    Totally understandable. At a certain point though you just have to trust and let go. It's really the only way he will learn how it is too.

    Good luck!

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  4. #3
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    Totally understandable. At a certain point though you just have to trust and let go. It's really the only way he will learn how it is too.

    Good luck!

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    My DP is the same... I understand your concern! I just keep reminding myself that he is also the parent and that his parenting method is just as valid as mine.

    On a few items I have stood my ground and explained that certain things stress me out and that I won't be able to relax so can he do X for my sake. That seems to work.

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    Relax! He is the father of his kids. Let him parent his way.

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    It's probably the fact that you DO have the kids all the time that's making you anxious about leaving them as well.
    You could do with more time away from them, a little break here and there, then you might not feel the same way.

    Before I took a trip home to Ireland I was like this.
    The family had all kinds of plans for the kids, some of which didn't involve me and were in circumstances I wasn't comfortable with.
    I had to tell DH to tell his family to back off a bit as I will not be dumping my kids with anyone, they'll be with me the whole time.
    It was hard to get my head around because I do everything for them here and they come everywhere with me.
    However, when I got home and I got a bit of help and freedom (and gained trust with family members) I was dumping them on anyone and everyone who would have them, HAHA.
    Maybe extend your time out and go for a coffee, all it takes is a quick test to see how things are going.


    p.s
    good luck with your appointment.

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    I was like this with my daughters - if DH or my parents took them out I would stress a lot and call and check up. It was actually all part of my anxiety and wanting that control all the time. I saw a psych about my anxiety when I was getting completely overwhelmed and I'm heaps better now. I had to start trusting those people, I stopped calling and checking up and they were always perfectly safe and sound when I saw them again. The more I did it (little steps at a time), the more I saw they would be ok. I now enjoy having those few times to myself

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    Hey - I have seen your threads so understand why you are worried. Like my DS your DD has pretty much been by your side 24/7 and its hard to let go - especially the first time. It is 20 mins. They will be fine. Use this as a trial run to maybe do it more often. Slowly. And I hope your appointment goes well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    My DP is the same... I understand your concern! I just keep reminding myself that he is also the parent and that his parenting method is just as valid as mine.

    On a few items I have stood my ground and explained that certain things stress me out and that I won't be able to relax so can he do X for my sake. That seems to work.
    Different but valid. My DH takes our kids to the farm and they do things that I would never let them do. I just try not to worry when they are with him but it's not easy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Relax! He is the father of his kids. Let him parent his way.
    This ..100%...


 

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