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  1. #21
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    His parents would think I was joking if I said something about DH being busy with his guitar. They totally think he's the golden boy and I'm a bit of a bossy witch. They're also old fuddy duddies who wouldn't even get the inference I don't think. And the OCD in me couldn't stand to have them visit with the house all grubby anyway, as nice as the idea sounds.

    Yeah, I went totally nuts at him this afternoon....swearing and yelling and crying my eyes out. Crappy behaviour on my behalf but his response was to yell back and belittle me. It doesn't make him see how crap his behaviour is, just makes me out to be a postnatal nutcase.

    He's definitely a lazy jerk and I'm sure there's an element of this that's about him feeling guilty about me working away and him being lazy, but he's too lazy to get up and fix the problem and too much of a jerk to admit it.

  2. #22
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    oh you poor thing. that's quite a bit you've got on your plate to deal with and an overgrown schoolboy added to the mix would be enough to make any sane lady tear her hair out!!

    just do the bare minimum to make it presentable. it's pretty unbelievable he won't help you at all but I guess some guys are just useless.

    maybe his guitar could "break" ? 😂😂

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  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by CountryGirl77 View Post

    Yeah, I went totally nuts at him this afternoon....swearing and yelling and crying my eyes out. Crappy behaviour on my behalf but his response was to yell back and belittle me. It doesn't make him see how crap his behaviour is, just makes me out to be a postnatal nutcase.
    Nice gas lighting on his behalf Tell him if he actually acted like a grown up not a dirty teen boy and helped you wouldn't need to become a 'nutcase'

  5. #24
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    In theory: I would sit down and have a deep and meaningful about whether or not it's a priority for him, it is for you, and if he cares about you he should try to help you.

    In reality: I would hire a cleaner and pay for it by selling his guitar.

    I agree with what a PP said. It's not that he resents you cleaning, he's resenting you making him feel bad for not helping. But rather than help he try's to make you stop cleaning so he doesn't have to feel bad.

    Can you make him get up during the night so you're not as tired?

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    Californication  (13-10-2015),DT75  (14-10-2015),Gentoo  (13-10-2015),turquoisecoast  (14-10-2015)

  7. #25
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    I wouldn't sugar coat it by saying he's been busy with his guitar. I just upfront say he hasn't been helping at all...but admit that depends on the in laws and your relationship with them.

    If he doesn't want to clean then he should be helping out in other ways, i.e. meals, grocery shopping, giving you a break by looking after bub for an hour or so, so you can catch up on sleep, paying for a cleaner 😜

  8. #26
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    If hes going to be like that then to hell with him and his parents. Stuff the lot and go away to a hotel for the few days. He can deal with them and the mess himself. If u have to take the kids then do so.

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    turquoisecoast  (14-10-2015)

  10. #27
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    Your husband is a jerk.

    I have the opposite problem- mine tells me to do more housework... ya dude, I'm pregnant, have to do the laundry by hand because you have yet to replace the washing machine (8 weeks and counting!), I do all the shopping and cooking, as well as housework and organising DSS and DSD, we are moving in 4 weeks, and I work 4 days a week.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Your husband is a jerk.

    I have the opposite problem- mine tells me to do more housework... ya dude, I'm pregnant, have to do the laundry by hand because you have yet to replace the washing machine (8 weeks and counting!), I do all the shopping and cooking, as well as housework and organising DSS and DSD, we are moving in 4 weeks, and I work 4 days a week.
    he sounds like a jerk too then.

    I'm suddenly feeling like my hubby is very very under appreciated and/or in a very lucky person.

    I'm a bit shocked men like this exist tbh.

  12. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    he sounds like a jerk too then.

    I'm suddenly feeling like my hubby is very very under appreciated and/or in a very lucky person.

    I'm a bit shocked men like this exist tbh.
    He is for things like this, yes.

    It's hit mother's fault- she raised him and his brother to believe that women are responsible for the house and kids. Which, ya, fine if I was home all the time. When we are both working, it should be 50/50.

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