Purple Poppy (10-10-2015)
I do tend to not mind visitors overall during that period and I'm lucky that my mum just sees what needs to be done and does it. She came down to watch the kids when we were at a wedding and I realised the following Monday that she had folded all our washing and Dad had done all the washing up. I also expect DH to run interference with my FIL by taking him out or suggesting he does stuff when I'm ****ed off.
I do understand however, that people need some time to themselves and find it easier with short visits rather than extended period of time. We're all different.
mil lives a while away and unfortunately, her driving repertoire is extremely restricted. she keeps offering to have my parents stay with her but it's honestly just not a practical solution, as they'd have zero transport to get around (she offered the use of her car but I know my parents wouldn't feel comfortable just taking someone's car) and she lives out in the burbs (like far away) so not like they could even get a taxi over to visit us. it's a bit of a hard situation.
I think, with the way I feel right now, I'd like no visitors etc for the first 2 weeks. definitely none in the hospital either. after the 2 weeks is up and hopefully we're in a bit of a routine, people may visit for short stays (1-2 hours max) but notice is required. no casual drop ins. as for house guests, definitely none until bubs has had his 6 week shots at least. any interstate visitors will need to find accommodation local to us. dh will happily ferry people back and forth between our house for visits and the accommodation.
I think if anyone is upset or offended at that, well too bad. I get the impression my parents are hoping to stay with us but I'm just not keen. they stayed with us last year and it was ok but I really felt the extra bodies in the house and the lack of space. just all sitting down to watch a movie together was hard as our couch doesn't accommodate 4 adults. plus they leave stuff just laying around which drove me crazy and that was me non-preg and pre-baby. I dread to think how I'll be after having bub and being tired and over wrought and having to think about this extra little human to care for!!
not trying to be mean either, I get family is excited obviously about a new bub but I think they overlook how important the time is for the new family to bond and find their groove etc. all very difficult to do with a constant stream of visitors.
IMO. If you want an extended family that is involved and a big part of your childs life then you need to be open to them from the beginning.
Shutting them away now doesn't bode well for the future.
I can't let dh fold washing to put away as he doesn't fold it properly and puts things in the wrong spot. someone who doesn't live with me would have zero hope of getting it right 😂
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