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  1. #11
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    Im one of those odd people that dont really get why people are "dont come to my house while I have a newborn"
    If its family I would like the company and would still have a nap or a shower as they would be able to look after the kids.
    Friends.... well if they wouldnt leave I would ask them to look after bub while I had a shower.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    re the cooking and cleaning- is this at their suggestion or yours?

    if it's at yours, how do you word it? (hoping for hints here 😂)
    I would start by asking mum to help with something (she would normally offer anyway) and if Nan or someone else like that was here then they would usually join her without being asked. My mum and mil were pretty good when they came they just did things that they could see needed to be done without having to ask them. If your worried start with a simple task like would you mind chucking this load of washing on, would you mind making the tea/coffee today, can you pick up milk on your way over or let them see the pile of washing up and make a point to say how your just not getting around to those things.

  4. #13
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    thanks. my parents live in another state though so if they came, they'd prob expect to stay with us. the idea of house guests really stresses me out. also, my mum is not the best cook so unlikely we'd want to eat anything she cooks (sorry I know that sounds shocking but just trying to illustrate the situation accurately).

  5. #14
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    I think for many people, family dont come to help, they come &want to sit &cuddle baby & expect to be served food & drinks, want you to attend to them, & then leave mess as they go. They dont like you having your baby back to feed or sleep, they want to cuddle the baby themselves. It can really inhibit bonding & can make those early days when babies need to be able to feed nob stop sometimes to get feeding established much more difficult. If I asked my mum to help with washing/ cook/clean/ etc, she would look at me in shock & horror,lol. I love her, but she really juat wants to hold her grandbaby when she visits,not help. Ita stressful when I want to feed the baby before they get too sleepy & then wont feed. My babies are crappy feeders for the first 2 months though,so I really need my baby when I need it.

    Sorry, that turnes into a bit of a rant!

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  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    thanks. my parents live in another state though so if they came, they'd prob expect to stay with us. the idea of house guests really stresses me out. also, my mum is not the best cook so unlikely we'd want to eat anything she cooks (sorry I know that sounds shocking but just trying to illustrate the situation accurately).
    It would be hard if they were staying with you full time. Is there someone else they could stay with or a hotel still close by?

  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Poppy View Post
    Im one of those odd people that dont really get why people are "dont come to my house while I have a newborn"
    If its family I would like the company and would still have a nap or a shower as they would be able to look after the kids.
    Friends.... well if they wouldnt leave I would ask them to look after bub while I had a shower.
    I am private and very 'I'll just do it' so it's hard for me to have people over doing stuff for me - even family.

    My mum will be in the same country for this pregnancy but even though I love and adore my mum I would not want her staying or coming over for hours every day. And definitely not my inlaws.

    Its hard to explain. I kinda wish I was different but it makes me anxious if they were around helping.

  9. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    re the cooking and cleaning- is this at their suggestion or yours?

    if it's at yours, how do you word it? (hoping for hints here 😂)

    It's easy. Give them a set of keys and msg them in the morning with groceries you need that day. They can pick them up on the way over. Or if they are living with you get them to help you plan the menu allocating every day to a different adult. Ie Mon- mum, Tuesday- aunt, Wednesday- hubby.

    Then with cleaning - just flat out ask.

    My MIL has been here 16 days and I have yet to wash a single dish, hang out laundry, take my kids to daycare/kindy, vacuum, change sheets etc. She is leaving on Monday morning so I've suggested that she do some baking before she leaves.

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  11. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Poppy View Post
    Im one of those odd people that dont really get why people are "dont come to my house while I have a newborn"
    If its family I would like the company and would still have a nap or a shower as they would be able to look after the kids.
    Friends.... well if they wouldnt leave I would ask them to look after bub while I had a shower.
    This exactly. Friends pop in with coffee and food, they amuse my kids whilst I get jobs done or showered. Family can easily be asked to do heaps of jobs. Plus they can look after bub whilst I nap.

  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Poppy View Post
    Im one of those odd people that dont really get why people are "dont come to my house while I have a newborn"
    If its family I would like the company and would still have a nap or a shower as they would be able to look after the kids.
    Friends.... well if they wouldnt leave I would ask them to look after bub while I had a shower.
    Maybe some people are private/introverts and don't want company. Or have family that:
    1) don't take the hint to help
    2) try to help but are hopeless and create more work
    3) are annoying

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  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    It's easy. Give them a set of keys and msg them in the morning with groceries you need that day. They can pick them up on the way over. Or if they are living with you get them to help you plan the menu allocating every day to a different adult. Ie Mon- mum, Tuesday- aunt, Wednesday- hubby.

    Then with cleaning - just flat out ask.

    My MIL has been here 16 days and I have yet to wash a single dish, hang out laundry, take my kids to daycare/kindy, vacuum, change sheets etc. She is leaving on Monday morning so I've suggested that she do some baking before she leaves.
    Your mil sounds great. I gather she is happy to help?

    My mil is not like that. I could be struggling with 2 kids and she will be sitting on the lounge reading a book. She will get up to make herself a cup of tea. Then sit back down again and read her book.


 

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